One Year. 525,600 Moments of Change

Last November (2007), a note was sent home from preschool letting us know about the upcoming school picture day. Cordy had only been in school for a little over a month – placed there after making quite an impact at her developmental evaluation – and was still in the phase where she trusted no one and screamed whenever I dropped her off at school each day.

I knew Cordy didn’t like new experiences. The smallest sensory disturbance would set her off into epic meltdowns. She was fearful of bright lights, loud noises, and strange people. So when they announced picture day, I worried how she might react.

The report from her teacher that day was the story of a struggle. It took over an hour to even coax her into the darkened room with the bright flash. She had split her bottom lip that morning from a post-breakfast meltdown, leaving it slightly swollen and red. Long after the other kids flashed smiles and moved on, her teacher continued to work with her to preserve this moment.

Cordy, as she was at that point in time, was clearly displayed in the picture that resulted:


And now a year later, the new photo displays a different Cordy. A Cordy who has ever so gradually learned to cope with the sensory onslaught around her, tempered her emotions to avoid meltdowns most days, and occasionally does what is asked of her.

She still sees this world as a scary place, but she’s coming out of her own little world, ever so slowly, and reaching out to put trust in others. You can look at her face and see how these small changes over the past year have made a difference.


There’s still much work to do, but the progress so far has been impressive. I truly believe Cordy wants to free herself completely from that barrier surrounding her and keeping her from fully participating in the world around her. And our hands are firmly grasping hers, doing our best to lead her out of the fog and refusing to let go.



No Surprises

Early on Saturday morning, two women showed up at our door with folders of papers and a little tackle box full of toys. They were here to do the full evaluation on Mira’s developmental progress. As they walked in, Cordy gave a loud “happy Halloween!” greeting to them (she still hasn’t figured out that Halloween is over), and Mira peered at them from behind my legs.

Aaron took Cordy upstairs for a bath so she wouldn’t disturb the evaluation, and I sat down on the floor with them as they began with a basic puzzle of two shapes and the holes to put them in. Mira quickly figured it out, but refused to take them back out of the puzzle and give them to the occupational therapist (OT).

When she put a Cheerio in a little bottle and handed it to Mira, she quickly turned it upside down to get the Cheerio out. But before the OT could say, “Now put it back in the bottle” Mira had already shoved it in her mouth. She took out another Cheerio and gave it to Mira, this time getting as far as “Can you put it in-” before Mira again popped it into her mouth. The third Cheerio was eaten as well. That’s my girl – she likes to eat.

She did pretty well on gross motor skills and fine motor skills, so the primary focus became communication. The speech therapist asked me several questions about how I interacted with her – do I repeat words, do I correct her if she mispronounces something, do I ask her to say what she wants when she points to it? In short, do I actually bother to talk to my child? Well, of course I do. I’m a blogger – I’m full of words.

None of the questions bothered me, until I was asked, “Has she said the typical first words? Mama, dada?” I looked down at Mira with a touch of sadness. “No, she has yet to say those.”

They both tried to persuade her to talk, but other than a few “nooo”s and some squeals and shrieks when they tried to make her do something she didn’t want to do, she remained mute. She also refused to play along with many of their games – a trait that seems to run in our family. After 45 minutes, they packed everything up, said they would need to score her evaluation at the office, and unceremoniously left. My only regret is that she didn’t smile or laugh for them even once, just gave them her icy stare. She’s really a goofy kid, but it’s a side of her that she refuses to show to strangers.

The call came this evening. Based on their evaluation, they’ve determined that Mira has a speech delay and will begin receiving therapy for it. They were especially concerned with her expressive language, but also a little concerned with her receptive language. I’m sure the receptive language perception was due to her disinterest in their games, because she responds to many things I tell her to do. OK, not that many – she does choose to ignore me when she doesn’t want to hear what I’m saying.

After we got the news, Aaron and I looked at each other and shrugged. There were no surprises here. We know she doesn’t talk, and that otherwise she’s a fairly typical 18 month old. As I’ve said before, compared to what we’ve already gone through with Cordy, this doesn’t seem all that bad. Even if Mira never speaks (practically impossible, I know), she’s a bright girl who knows how to get her message across. She has the will and temperment to demand anything she wants in life, even without saying a word. This is nothing more than a bump in the road.



This Was My Weekend


It was a lovely holiday weekend. Thursday was filled with family and a surprising amount of fun – more fun than we’ve had at T-Day in a long, long time. We did a little shopping on Friday, Mira had her full evaluation on Saturday (more on that soon) and then the remainder of the weekend was spent attending to holiday decorations.

Cordy helped decorate the tree for the second time ever, and I think together we did a pretty good job. (Sorry for the blurry pic – turning off the flash results in blur with my camera.)



Haiku Friday: Black Friday Revisited

Haiku Friday
Black Friday is here
Want a digital frame cheap?
Only ten in stock!

I am thankful for
the huz, who wakes up early
to shop the big sales

But this year we’re poor
so no crazy spending – just
looking for cheap gifts

I’m cheating today. I started to write a haiku about Black Friday, and then checked my archives and found I was writing a nearly identical haiku to last year’s. So I revived last year’s haiku for today, adding one new haiku to the end.

We’re going out into the madness again, hoping to score some inexpensive items to wrap up for holiday gifts. Our list is far shorter than last year’s, with the biggest difference being that most of the items are in the under $10 range.

Are you shopping for deals this weekend?

To play along for Haiku Friday, follow these steps:

1. Write your own haiku on your blog. You can do one or many, all following a theme or just random. What’s a haiku, you ask? Click here.

2. Sign the Mister Linky below with your name and the link to your haiku post (the specific post URL, not your main blog URL). DON’T sign unless you have a haiku this week. If you need help with this, please let me know.

3. Pick up a Haiku Friday button to display on the post or in your sidebar by clicking the button at the top.

REMEMBER: Do not post your link unless you have a haiku this week! I will delete any links without haiku!



We’re Thankful For Everything But The Germs

I’ll never understand why my children can’t be like other kids, even if just for a little bit. Mira is sick – again – this time with a simple cold, but the snot is a continuous stream coming from her nose, with no way to turn off the faucet. She’s also running a fever and clearly looks miserable.

So is she sleeping more? Or maybe just more quiet and interested in laying on the couch all day, like most kids (and adults) I know? No way – she’s got things to do, living rooms to trash, and a mommy to climb all over.

The only difference now is she’s getting snot on everything (including me), and instead of going about her destruction merrily, she’s grumpy and whiny and complains about everything in short shrieks and grunts. If I walk into the kitchen and leave without bringing her an edible offering, she falls to the ground and flails in a fit until you succumb to her will. Of course, when I offer her food, she takes one or two bites and then drops the rest on the floor, unwilling to eat any more.

Show no mercy

Somehow, we have yet to celebrate a holiday without at least one sick child. I’m not sure what the odds are, but I’m thinking with two children under five who can’t understand why handwashing is important, my real surprise should be that they aren’t sick every single day of the year.

My only hope is that Mira will be close to healthy by Saturday, when child development specialists will be taking over our living room to do a full evaluation for Mira. Ever since her screening, we’ve been urging her to say anything that might show up in Webster’s, but Mira has her own method of communication, with the few words she says free of the burden of complicated consonants.

I’m secretly hoping for a speech therapist like Henry Higgins, just so we can teach her to say The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain with such a lovely accent. Nah, who am I kidding? If she would say mama, I’d be overjoyed.

Have a great Thanksgiving, US readers. We’ve got two family T-Day events to attend, driving from one end of the county to the other. In this time of thanksgiving, I’m thankful that despite the suckiness of this year, we still have our house, we’re staying on top of our bills, we have wonderful family and friends (including many of you) who are supportive in so many ways, and even though my relationship with Aaron has been through the wringer recently, I still have my family intact. Oh yeah, and I’m thankful I finally got the president I voted for.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. May you avoid cranky and sick children in your travels this weekend. (Those of you we’ll be seeing tomorrow not included. Sorry.)

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