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Aug 3, 2010

The Doctor’s Bill Hurts More Than The Shot

August 3, 2010 By

Being without health insurance at the moment, we’ve put off a lot of routine care because we simply can’t afford the bills. Vaccination boosters can wait, yearly check-ups can be put off, and if anyone gets sick, I can put my Super Mom-RN skills to use to determine if a trip to the doctor is really necessary.

But when the school sends home a form requiring a medical professional to sign off that your child has had a physical in the past year and is healthy enough to attend school – and said child can’t attend school without this signature – then you have to bite the bullet and make an appointment.

Mira had her doctor’s visit yesterday, what would have been her three-year-old well-child visit, now more like her three-and-a-few-months well-child visit. Her doctor is actually a nurse practitioner (yay for supporting my fellow nurses!), and Mira spent all morning excited about going to the “dot-torz oh-hice!” Or at least she was excited until we got there and the nurse asked her to take off her shoes to be weighed. Then the wailing started.

Thankfully, the tears stopped when the nurse practitioner came into the room. Our NP is very friendly and outgoing, and Mira quickly recovered herself and became the show-off ham she’s known for. The NP pointed out that Mira is continuing the tradition of Amazon warrior princesses in our household – 95th percentile for height – no surprise there. If she continues on this growth curve, she’ll likely be 5’8″ or taller as an adult.

There were no surprises at this visit. Mira still has speech apraxia. We knew that and she’ll be getting therapy through the school in the fall. She has sensitive skin and a sensitive tummy, which we’ve been aware of since birth. She has a persistent junky cough that is likely just allergies as her chest is clear – the NP’s stethoscope findings matched my own from home. She’s bright, overflowing with energy, and completely healthy with no serious medical concerns whatsoever. And that’s essentially what was noted on the paper required for school admittance.

In other words, we didn’t need the NP to tell us any of this. We just needed her signature.

And then we paid $110 for that signature and 15 minutes of time that only confirmed what we already knew.

Ouch.

I think my checkbook needs a band-aid and a Thomas the Tank Engine sticker now.

Filed Under: daily life, growing up, Mira, money, school


Jul 30, 2010

Tales of BlogHer Past (in Pictures)

July 30, 2010 By

Many of you are familiar with the BlogHer conference, and for those who may not know, I’ll be attending again next week in New York City. This will be my fifth BlogHer, so I kinda feel like an old-pro at this now.

Leading up to this year’s BlogHer, I’ve seen a lot of posts so far featuring what to pack, what to wear, which shoes are the best, hair styles to best flatter your face, makeup and shapewear to help you look your best, how to dress for private parties…the list goes on and on. It’s exhausting, really.

Here’s some simple advice I’ve learned over the years:

1. Dress for comfort. If shapewear is part of your comfort (it is for me), so be it.
2. Wear clothing, makeup, shoes, and whatever else that makes you feel confident and ready to greet the world. (Or at least 2,399 other bloggers.)
3. And know that no matter how bad you look, it can’t be much worse than my first BlogHer.

I’ve been taking a look at photos from past BlogHers and I cringe at some of the shots of myself. I was heavy. I had a bad haircut. And I had no sense of style. OK, I still don’t have any sense of style, but I’m getting better at copying others.

Evidence? Yeah, I thought you might want some proof to back up those statements. So here you go, a quick look at me from BlogHer 2006 until now. Enjoy the walk down memory lane – memories that make me want to go out for a run right now when I think about them.

BlogHer 2006 – My first blogging conference ever, and I was scared out of my wits. I also had a 22 month old daughter and still couldn’t fit into any of my pre-baby clothing. Instead of working to lose the baby weight (which there really wasn’t any – I gained very little weight during pregnancy) I had managed to pack on some extra baby weight. I’m not sure how much I weighed, but it was somewhere around 225 in these photos, maybe more.

(I’m on the right, obviously)

Ugh, the full length shot. I’m surprised the button didn’t pop on those capris. And that’s all I had at this conference – denim capris and t-shirts. The hair was also a homemade dye job and the cut was a mall stylist gone hack-happy. I’m amazed anyone even talked to me that year. (PS – I miss you, Mary!!)

(l-r: Liz, Kristen, Catherine, me)
Sure, pasties were all the fashion rage that year, and I prefer to focus on those rather than the fact that I was the size of two of Liz. Also? It was hot in San Jose – even if I did wear makeup (which I didn’t), I’d have sweat it right off.
Overall? I was a big, hot mess. Yes, you can tell me I’m being hard on myself, but I still wish I could go back to make a better first impression.
BlogHer 2007 – So the hair did grow out, which is an improvement over the year before. My confidence was also higher this year.
(me with Elizabeth Edwards)
See? The hair isn’t as bad. And I was at least 10 pounds lighter. I suppose I could have tried to lose more weight before my trip to Chicago, but I did have this excuse:
(Look! We all had babies since we last met!)
Mira was born just 7 weeks prior. That I was even able to shower and put on matching clothes should excuse some of the flaws.

BlogHer 2008 – I made an active effort to lose weight for this one. But I only managed about 5-10 pounds. Still, I learned my lesson and let my hair keep growing, and finally discovered what a dress was!

(l-r: Julie, Liz, me)

That pic was after a long, warm night of parties. But look – a dress! And long hair really is my thing, I think.

(l-r: Kristen, me, Heather, Whitney)

And at this point I think I should point out that apparently I’m contractually obligated to be in a BlogHer photo with Liz and Kristen each year.

BlogHer 2009 – Last year, I was serious about wanting to put my best foot forward at BlogHer, and started my own Hot by BlogHer challenge, along with joining the Shredheads. I lost 20 pounds, felt great, and participated in my first 5K at BlogHer. Also? I no longer cared so much about trying to do it all and “build my brand” at BlogHer. I wanted to have fun and spend time with friends, and I did.

(me & Jennifer)

(me & Janny – photo courtesy of Karianna)
BlogHer 2010 – I have no idea what this year will bring. But I can give you a little hint:
I’ll be comfortable, I’ll feel good about myself and what I’m wearing, and I’m going to have a great time.
Filed Under: motivation


Jul 29, 2010

Disturbing School District Priorities

July 29, 2010 By

There are times when I will defend our local school district. Aaron is a product of that district, and had a (mostly) positive experience with it, and so I often make an effort to remember that when others bad mouth our district as being poor and not living up to the standards of surrounding districts.

After all, this was the district that helped us diagnose why Cordy wasn’t like other kids her age. The special education office worked so quickly to get her enrolled in preschool and provided services to help her adjust to the world she was so apart from. Her first preschool teacher is a woman I will forever speak fondly of, a woman I’d gladly consider to be a part of our family, and when Mira qualified for special needs preschool, I immediately asked for her to be placed with this teacher for the upcoming school year.

The principal at Cordy’s current school also worked with us to make sure that Cordy wouldn’t have to go to her “home” school for kindergarten – a school we know nothing about – when she wasn’t selected for any school in the lottery, including her current school. A quick e-mail to the principal pleading our case, and a seat opened up for her. After all, the principal has been just as charmed by Cordy as everyone else who spends time with her.

But the district isn’t perfect. I truly wanted Cordy to be mainstreamed this year – placed in a classroom of her “typical” peers where she would inevitably struggle with social rules and routines, but would hopefully be surrounded by a supportive team who would help her learn and grow and rise to the challenge like she always does. However, it wasn’t the recommended choice and Cordy will instead spend kindergarten in a special needs classroom with some “inclusion” time allowed in the mainstream kindergarten class each week.

I struggled to be convinced of why this was the best option for her. Her team gave us such glowing reports at the end of this school year: she no longer qualifies for speech therapy. She’s academically at a kindergarten level already and they recommend testing her for the gifted program next year. She’s still uncoordinated and does need assistance with some fine motor tasks, but she’s improving. Why should this child be in special needs?

She has trouble adjusting to a change in routine, they explain. The normal pace in a kindergarten class may be too fast for her. (A kindergarten class has a fast pace? Remember when we spent kindergarten learning to cut with scissors and had nap time?) She’s sensitive to some sensory stimuli. She would require too much attention from the teacher, and there are too many kids in the class for the teacher to spend a lot of time with her. Yes, if she had an aide she would probably do well, but that just isn’t possible.

It doesn’t make sense to me. What I hear is: our schools are overcrowded and our teachers are spread too thin already. And I also hear, loud and clear: your daughter would do well in a mainstream classroom, but we won’t pay for an aide for her to make this possible.

I’ve tried so hard to rationalize this information. I know Columbus City Schools is cutting corners just like every district to save money. They closed several schools this year, shifting the students to other schools to save money. And at the end of the school year, 133 teachers in the district were laid off. With this poor economy, other staff received no raises, but at least they were able to keep their jobs. A levy was passed in recent years, but apparently it’s not enough to help the school district.

I try to remember that Cordy isn’t the only child in the district, and that the cost of an aide for a child like her might be too much for the district to handle.

And then.

Then I read the news about the school board voting last week to give the superintendent of our school district a raise – a raise far larger than any teacher or staff member in the district is receiving. For the next four years, she’ll receive annual 3% raises along with a retroactive 4% raise that she deferred last year. Her total salary at the end of the four years will be $217,000, making her the third highest paid superintendent in Ohio.

This is not a reward for a stellar performance. The test scores for our district are abominable. (And the average high school student in our district probably couldn’t tell you what abominable means, other than something to do with a snowman, or spell it.) The superintendent is getting a raise for a graduation rate that has made an “improvement” to 73.9%.

I don’t see the reason in it. Schools are closed, teachers are laid off, they threaten to scrap bus transportation for some students, and yet the person who has the least to do with educating children gets the largest pay increase?

On a more personal note, the district can’t provide my daughter an aide in the classroom to give her the legal right to a “least restrictive environment”, but they can make sure their superintendent is the third highest paid school administrator in the state?

I really feel the district has a screwed up sense of priorities. I have no doubt in my mind that the teachers are doing the best they can with the resources given to them, but the school board and administrators aren’t properly appropriating those resources. The teachers need more help. They need fewer students in a class, and aides to help out students who are academically ready for their grade, but might need some assistance with adaptive skills and transitions.

If Aaron wasn’t laid off in May, we probably would have enrolled Cordy in a private Montessori school. After all, she’s doing extremely

But, like the teachers in the school district, we also can’t provide the best for Cordy because of money. It sucks.

The plan at this point is to be the best advocates we can for Cordy this year, watching her progress at school closely and pushing for more integration and moving away from the special needs classroom if possible. Assuming we’re both employed next year, Cordy will then go to the Montessori school for first grade. Seeing the superintendent get a large raise when teachers are laid off, classrooms are stuffed full of more students, and when my daughter can’t get the most appropriate education because it’s not in the budget has completely turned me off from this school district.

I want to support public schools. But I can’t support a school district that I feel doesn’t use its money properly. I will vote against the school board members who voted for the superintendent’s raise, I will not support this superintendent, and should the district cry “poor!” and put another levy on the ballot in the next few years, I will not forget the actions of the district this year when I cast my vote. And I will find another district, or save all we can for a private school, for my children where I feel they will get the best education possible.

Filed Under: Autism, big issues, Cordy, rant, school


Jul 27, 2010

I’m On A Roll

July 27, 2010 By

It’s been a big week of win around here, it seems. First, I ran for 20 minutes straight, which was a huge accomplishment.

Then, I survived six days alone with my children and only ate fast food for a grand total of once. ONCE. Six days, 18 meals and only one of them involved food ordered at a drive thru. And it wasn’t for lack of begging from my daughters. Remembering that I want to lose weight, have more energy and be healthier helped me avoid the grease traps.

As part of the Better for BlogHer challenge, I was asked to replace just one meal a day with a Healthy Choice entree. This has been amazingly easy, and has given me the chance to experiment with different Healthy Choice entrees. I’m usually a creature of habit and stick to 1-2 favorites that I eat over and over. But when the meals are provided for me, I’m willing to be a little more adventurous.

I usually eat the Cafe Steamers because I like simplicity. Pop it in the microwave and wait – no cutting slits in the top, no stirring halfway thru. My two favorites by far are the Balsamic Garlic Chicken and the Lemon Garlic Chicken & Shrimp. (Hmmm…apparently I like garlic.) But I decided to try some of the complete meals, which also come with a dessert. I now have two new favorites to add to my list: Fire Roasted Tomato Chicken and the Spicy Shrimp Diavolo. I never expect a frozen meal to have a lot of spark when it comes to spicy, but I’m pleased to say that the Spicy Shrimp Diavolo is actually SPICY. Yum! And while I was a little unsure of the fruit desserts, I’ve found them to be just as delicious and the perfect ending to a meal.

But here’s where the final part of my good week comes in. Combine running, avoiding temptation and replacing one meal a day with a Healthy Choice meal, and I finally have an achievement that I’ve been waiting on for months now:

The scale finally caved, and I broke through 187.

Well. It’s about time.

I’m hoping to see the 170’s by BlogHer. I haven’t seen them since my wedding in 2003, and I know I can do it.

Full disclosure: As I’ve mentioned before, Healthy Choice provided me with free entree coupons as well as compensation for the Better for BlogHer challenge, but my opinions are still my own and are 100% honest. And looking above, numbers don’t lie. OK, I suppose they could lie, but these aren’t. More importantly, my hips won’t lie when you see them in a fabulous dress at BlogHer.

Filed Under: success, weigh-in Tagged With: ,


Jul 26, 2010

Single Parents, I Salute You

July 26, 2010 By

I don’t know how you do it.

Seriously.

You all deserve a medal. Or a hug. Or a national holiday in your honor, with guaranteed babysitting for the day so you can lounge poolside and have a margarita without worrying if your kid is too close to the edge of the pool.

I’m just finishing up a six day solo-parenting gig and I’m exhausted. (Aaron was in California at San Diego Comic-Con, where ironically the weather was much cooler than the melt-your-face-off heat wave we had in Ohio.) I love my children dearly, but nothing tests your love for your children quite like 6 days alone with them.

Actually, it wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t on a nocturnal schedule due to my job, and my children weren’t on a beat-the-rooster-to-the-punch schedule. This equated to mommy dragging her tired self downstairs before the sun was up, making them breakfast, turning on the TV, and then collapsing on the couch while promising extra gummy snacks at lunch to whichever child could be the quietest for the next couple of hours. You might be surprised how many “who can be the quietest” game rewards you can think up when you’re half-delirious from sleep deprivation.

I was raised by a single mom, so you’d think I’d have some tricks on how to do it solo. Growing up, my mom worked 40+ hours a week, cooked meals, cleaned our house, paid bills, mowed the lawn, helped me with my school homework, went grocery shopping, attended my school events, and yet somehow still had time to sit on the couch with me and watch TV in the evenings. I’m convinced she’s secretly a cyborg who doesn’t require sleep.

Yet six days proved me to be nothing like her. I was short with my girls more than once. OK, more than once each day. Maybe even each hour, depending on the time of day. At times I felt like they were trying to make me lose my temper. The house did not stay clean. The laundry did not get done until Cordy ran out of shorts to wear. Paper plates became my best friends. On the third day, Cordy cried that she missed her daddy when I yelled at her. I didn’t cry about missing him until the fifth day.

But the end is now in sight. And we did have some fun during these six days, too. We made ice cream together. We went shopping for toys and t-shirts at the Disney store in the mall. (Mira then begged to go into Victoria’s Secret when we walked past it – uh-oh.) We sat together in a heap on the couch and read Thomas the Tank Engine stories. We had dinner with grandma one night, where the girls performed the “I love grandma and mommy” dance for us. Cordy drew a picture of us with a heart above us and the words “I love you mom” written below, asking me to display it to work. (I did.) And each night I tucked each of them into bed and kissed them goodnight, reminding them that even though we sometimes get upset with each other, I will always love them no matter what.

It wasn’t so bad. But I’m still glad I don’t have to do it longer than six days. And I’m looking forward to getting my time away at BlogHer next week.

Filed Under: Aaron, being a mom, daily life, domestic zero, memories Tagged With: