Last week in a doctor’s waiting room:

Woman: Oh, look at you! Not much longer, is it?

Me: Only a few more weeks.

Woman: Boy or girl?

Me: Girl

Woman: So, what will her name be?

Me: We don’t have a name yet.

Woman: Oh, honey, you can tell me.

Me: No, seriously, we don’t have a name picked out yet.

Woman: (laughing and giving me a knowing smile) Oh, I get it. The name is a secret, eh?

Me: (sighing) Yes. Yes, the name is so secret, even my husband and I don’t know it.

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Seriously, people take it as a personal insult if you won’t tell them your unborn child’s name. I had no idea people listed this among their rights when encountering a pregnant woman. (You know, right up there with touching the belly and asking if it was planned.)

But the truth is we still have no name. Nothing sounds right for this girl. I think we were close to a name a few weeks ago, but then as soon as we told relatives, they started suggesting nicknames that made me cringe, and completely drove me away from the name:

“Miranda? So we’ll have a Randy in the family?”
“Ack! No!”
“What about Randa then? That’s a nice name.”
“No way. Never mind, I’ve changed my mind – we’re not using that name.”

The fastest way to drive me away from a name is to suggest bad nicknames.

So now my nose is buried in baby name books again, looking for anything else that might be a suitable name. I’ve spent so much time staring at lists of names that I think I’m starting to go a little insane. After reading through so many names, my eyes begin to cross, my brain melts a little, and I start to think most names sound pretty good.

Proof? Today I was reading through a list of names that have never been on the SSA’s top 1000 most popular lists and thought to myself, “Lysistrata – now that’s a pretty name you don’t hear very often.” WTF?

Any minute now, the name police will show up and tell me to slowly step away from the baby name book and have a rest before this baby is scarred for life with an unfortunate name.