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Apr 17, 2007

Day (Not) Off

April 17, 2007 By

I’d like to thank those of you who added your thoughts to my last post. It was a lonely, hormone-fueled weekend, and it felt comforting to know I wasn’t alone in wanting to escape from my “domestic bliss” now and then.

I took a vacation day from work today. While a day off is very needed, relaxing wasn’t on the agenda. My new babysitter started today, and I stayed home to go through the routine with her. She’s a friend of ours who was looking for extra work and money for when she and her boyfriend move to Boston this summer. In the past, she has watched the children of other friends, so I feel very comfortable leaving Cordy with her.

M is one of those people that kids naturally like. She’s full of child-like energy that kids are magnetically attracted to. She’s young and hasn’t been worn down by having a child around her 24/7, begging for juice and cookies, waking at 6am, and testing every rule every minute. In other words, she’s a perfect companion for a hyperactive toddler two days a week.

And while Cordy is normally shy and cool towards anyone she doesn’t know well, she happily played with M and had no issue with me leaving for an hour to go to a chiropractic appointment. When I returned, they were in the kitchen eating lunch, M having just taught Cordy the “peanut butter jelly” song. Cordy liked her enough to even spare her the afternoon poopy diaper on her first day.

I think she learned the routine pretty well today. I didn’t realize how strict a mommy I am until I listened to myself spouting off all the rules. Some are for Cordy’s protection – no food with cinnamon, since she’s allergic – but others were less critical, such as no going upstairs unless it’s naptime, no shoes on the couch, and crayons must be put away when done, or no TV for the rest of the day. But I’m still soft on some things: sandwiches must be cut into triangles, because it’s Cordy’s favorite shape, she’s allowed to play with daddy’s poker chips if she keeps them at the table, and snacks can be eaten in the living room while watching TV. It was tough to remember all of the rules, and I’m sure M will forget some of them, which is OK, because they’ll form their own way of doing things.

So we have a good babysitting arrangement for the moment. However, M will be moving away in June or July, so we still must continue to look for daycare for Cordy, but the search isn’t so urgent now. Tomorrow I’ll go back to work, and M will have her first day on her own with Cordy. I hope it will go as smoothly as it did today, and Cordy won’t prove to be birth control for yet another young friend of ours.

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Apr 3, 2007

Where’d She Go?

April 3, 2007 By

Forgive me, readers, for I have sinned. It’s been a week since my last confession post.

What have I been up to? Well, last week was a busy week for me work-wise, and ended with Aaron leaving on Thursday morning for a trip to a stage combat workshop in Virginia Beach. He didn’t get back until very late last night. Four days, one hyperactive toddler, and one eight-months-pregnant mom who was parenting solo.

You can understand why blogging was not high on my priority list. Most nights I was too exhausted to even fix myself dinner. Single parents – you deserve a medal. While Cordy was thankfully well-behaved most of the weekend, the experience left me begging for Aaron to come home as soon as possible. I learned I’m officially not cut out for parenting solo.

Friday I also went to look at the one daycare in town that supposedly had an opening right away. Turns out, they didn’t – they had one day a week available, not two. But after looking at the place, I decided it wasn’t for us, anyway. They wanted to charge $485 a month for two days a week, and they didn’t even provide meals. You had to pack your own breakfasts and lunches. Plus, if the weather is bad, there is no indoor playroom, and the kids are confined to their classrooms. I also asked about naptime, and they told me if a child doesn’t nap, she has to sit on her cot quietly during nap time. I tried not to laugh at them, but I couldn’t hold back. You want my daughter to sit quietly for an hour and a half? Yeah, right.

Today was my regular OB appointment. Even though I’ve eaten my weight in doughnuts this week, I somehow lost two pounds. So I’m back to my starting weight. I had plenty of reserves to begin with, so my doctor isn’t concerned at all.

However, there was one downside to the appointment today. Somehow, in the past week, this baby has managed to do the one and only thing I didn’t want her to do:

She’s now breech.

Yes, Cordy was breech, which is why I had my c-section. The chances of two breech babies? Well, had I bet on another breech, I’d be rich.

Why must I be cursed with stubborn daughters? This one wasn’t breech last week, because I could feel the kicks up high. But today the hard lump of a head is now up high, while small feet are Irish dancing on my cervix.

I’m 33 weeks today, so there is still time and room for her to turn back. And unlike last time, I refuse to sit by and just hope she’ll turn. I’m breaking out every trick in the book. I will prop my butt up on the couch with my head on the floor twice a day. I will put frozen peas on the top of my stomach and a heating pad on the lower area to convince her my cervix is a better place for her head. If needed, I have found an acupuncture office who performs moxibustion, and I’m looking into chiropractors who are skilled in the Webster technique. I’m determined to get this kid head down, even if it means chanting some silly phrase while wearing a hula skirt and moose antlers.

So, forgive me for my absence here. It was a much needed leave of absence so that I could focus on all the things stressing me out. As penance, I’ll let you in on a secret: click here to go see the current top two baby names we have sort-of agreed on thus far. And next up I’ll be answering a series of interview questions given to me by Mrs. Chicky.

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Mar 27, 2007

Love Your Babysitter

March 27, 2007 By

A child care provider you can trust is one of the most valuable things you can have as a parent. It may be someone to provide full-time care, part-time care, or just the occasional date night. Whether you need the care for work, or just for a little time off, knowing you can leave your child with this provider without any fear is something to be thankful for every day.

Which is why I’ve been feeling a slight panic over the the past few weeks. My friend L has watched Cordy for me one or two days a week for nearly a year and a half. She and I have been friends for over 10 years, and she has a son slightly older than Cordy. I’d describe her parenting style as just as overprotective, or more so, than me, which makes me feel completely safe leaving Cordy with her. I know that my daughter is lovingly cared for in her home, with her every need covered, with plenty of attention and guidance, and with another child for company.

However, all of that is now changing. Due to some sad events, L and her long-term partner are splitting up. She has been lucky to be a stay at home mom ever since her son was born, but now she must find a new apartment, and will have to find a full-time job to support her son. Her retired mom moved up to Ohio from Arizona just a few weeks ago, and will take care of watching L’s son while she works, but it does mean Cordy is without a babysitter two days a week.

I have been helping my friend as much as possible with getting on with her life – watching her son so she could go fill out paperwork and meet with assistance counselors, finding jobs for her to apply for, helping with apartment searches, etc. And while I am happy to be there for her, I am also mourning the loss of my trusted child care provider.

L’s job hunt has been slow going, and so she is now looking at temp agencies, which means that any day now I could find out that Cordy has no one to watch her. My own search for a replacement child care provider is also going slowly, too. We don’t have any other family or friends we could turn to for this amount of childcare, and while I’m sure there are several in-home providers who are perfectly nice people, I am too paranoid to trust a stranger alone with my child.

I’ve called several daycare centers and preschools (all of the NAEYC accredited ones, of course), but most have no openings for at least 6-8 months. Of the fifteen or so that I contacted, one had an opening, and I’m touring the center on Friday. My other option is to beg Aaron’s aunt for help again. She is an asst. director for an early childhood learning center, and she was the one we turned to when Cordy was three months old and my old job suddenly cut off telecommuting for all employees. We’re hoping she might find a spot for Cordy at her center.

The other issue affecting our decision is the cost involved. The one center with the opening is asking $485 a month for care two days a week. That’s a lot more than we currently pay L, and probably more than we can afford. My mother watches Cordy during the other day I work, but for now can’t help out more than one day a week due to her work schedule. Quitting my job is not an option at this point either.

Somehow, it will all work out. This is pretty poor timing – had it been two months later, Cordy could have stayed home with me during maternity leave, and we would have more time to find more options. But L needs to get out on her own, and I understand the struggle she’s going through. I plan to keep searching out other possibilities, and I know we will find a solution eventually. I’m thankful for the year and a half that L was able to watch Cordy, and I know that Cordy benefited from that time with her.

If you have a babysitter or child care provider you like and trust, be sure to tell them thank you for all they do. Because you never know when you could find yourself without that trusted caregiver, and finding someone else you could put that much trust in is often hard to do.

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