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May 10, 2012

Scale Happiness

May 10, 2012 By

So this happened over the weekend:

Yikes, my scale looks filthy on camera!

Excitement? Yep, I was pretty damn happy. The first time in my adult life being under 160lbs – probably the first time I’ve been under 160 since I was 15 years old. A mere 1.8lbs away from the goal weight I set for myself when I weighed 212lbs and more.

However, I know my body too well. It couldn’t last, and two days later I was back to 161. Still…I saw it. I have proof it happened. Which means I can make it happen again.

If I charted out daily weights for myself, you’d see a lot of little ups and downs. Of course, the valleys have been greater than the peaks, leading to the overall downward trend, but I never let a single weigh-in be the concrete number that I’ll believe in.

I’m frustrated that my weight popped right back up after that short, celebratory scale reading. (I stepped on the scale three times that morning to make sure it wasn’t an error on the scale.) That frustration has turned into determination to see this through to the end and reach my goal.

So yeah, I’m thrilled at seeing 159.8. And I’m looking forward to seeing it again – and numbers lower than it – very soon.

Filed Under: motivation, photographic evidence, weigh-in Tagged With:


Dec 14, 2011

Hibernating & Indulging

December 14, 2011 By

This time of year is always hard when it comes to weight loss. It starts with Halloween and all of the trick-or-treat candy, then progresses into the Thanksgiving meal-o-plenty, and ends with a steady slide into decadent holiday baked goods and party foods. It’s no wonder so many people start diets on New Year’s Day – you need to detox from all of that excess!

My own weight loss has never been a steady line moving downwards. It’s more like a series of hills, up and down, with smaller ups and greater downs. It takes longer than a straight line, but I can’t argue with the method since despite the small gains each year I’m still 80 pounds lighter than my heaviest weight.

The last three months of the year are what I call my hibernation phase. This is when my workouts and eating habits slack off as I focus on the holidays and the end of the year. I exercise less because I want to spend more time with my family on holiday traditions. I generously partake of Halloween candy, and never miss a chance to fill up on party foods during the Christmas season. And yeah, I gain a few pounds back, too.

Halloween and Christmas are my two favorite holidays – completely restricting myself would only make me miserable. My #1 rule of weight loss is that this is a change for life – if I have to turn down brownies and pastries and cheese balls during the holidays for the rest of my life in order to be at a healthy weight, I can guarantee that I’ll be overweight forever or be the most miserable skinny person you’ve ever met.

So I plan for it. I know I’m going to overeat and I go for the foods I enjoy the most. I try to offset these heavier meals with small, healthy meals or meal replacement shakes/bars (since there aren’t holiday parties every day, right?) and I don’t get too upset at seeing the scale inch up a little.

By the time I’m packing up the Christmas tree and taking down the last of the garlands, I’m usually sick of all of those rich foods and ready for something different. (Yes, it’s true – you really can eat enough cookies to develop a temporary aversion to them!) January is a natural re-commitment to eating healthy and working out, both because I’m burned out on calorie-heavy foods, and it’s now so cold I want to move more just to stay warm!

As for those few pounds I added at the end of the year? As long as it wasn’t more than five pounds (and it rarely is), I shrug it off and consider the joy I had from the holidays worth the small gain.

So far, this plan has worked for me. I’ve lost anywhere from 10-20 pounds each year, and gained 5 at the end of the year. (This year it’s only been 2 pounds gained so far, partially thanks to a stomach virus that swept thru last week.) I’m still coming out ahead, I’m happier, and by taking my weight loss slowly I’m improving the chances it’ll stay off for good.

So if you’re curious about what workouts or meal plans I’m following at the moment, you won’t find anything here. I’m currently in hibernation, enjoying the holidays. Check back with me in January and you can bet I’ll be working towards losing a little more of myself.

Filed Under: holidays Tagged With: ,


Oct 10, 2011

Trying Something New For Two Weeks

October 10, 2011 By

I now understand everyone who says that the last ten pounds are the hardest to lose. Guess what? I’m still at 167, and the last ten pounds show no sign of giving up. It’s time to try something different.

I’ve used a variety of methods to help me lose the weight, with most being some combination of eat less and move more. But if I stay in a certain eating or fitness pattern for too long, my body adapts and I have to do something different to shake things up. I’ve seen many a plateau, and know that each one forces to me to adapt and alter my routine. Sometimes it means trying a new mix of higher protein, or higher complex carb, or more weights or more cardio, or just different foods than I usually eat.

I recently was asked if I wanted to try the new, improved Slim-Fast shakes, and I decided to give them a try. Slim-Fast has worked to improve the flavor to make their shakes the best tasting ever, and they’re now moving away from the cans in favor of re-closable plastic bottles.

Many years ago, I tried Slim-Fast shakes as one of my weight loss methods. If you’re one of the few people who have never heard of Slim-Fast, they’re a line of vitamin-fortified milkshakes (and now nutritional bars, too) that help provide calorie control to aid in losing weight. The plan is to have a shake or bar for 2 meals a day, along with two healthy snacks and a nutritious dinner. (AKA, the 3-2-1 plan.)

The first time I tried Slim-Fast, it did work. But back then (we’re taking over 10 years ago), the shakes were only so-so for flavor, and you had to drink them out of a metal can, which gave them a metallic taste. I never used the Slim-Fast shakes for long back then (even though they did result in weight loss) because I would eventually long for something with more flavor.

Now, I’m well aware of the criticisms of this product, too. It distracts from eating whole foods, it has you drinking your calories and could leave you feeling less full, and it’s calorie plan isn’t for all sizes. I get it, and I’m aware of how to adapt it. I don’t consider this product the magic weight-loss pill – I still have to put in the work, but it’s one tool that can help when I have trouble with eating on the run or eating at work.

I don’t always have time for a meal of whole foods – sometimes I have to eat in the car, and a shake is far better for me compared to a fast food value meal. If the shake has enough protein in it, I often don’t need to worry about getting hungry too soon, either. As for the calorie issue – I’m well aware of how many calories is recommended for weight loss for my body, and adjust the plan accordingly to make sure I’m meeting my minimum required.

Since I’ve been stuck at yet another plateau, I’m using Slim-Fast for two weeks to see if it can provide me the jump start I need. I’m using one or two shakes or bars a day and then having portion controlled servings of food for the other meals and snacks.

If you’re interested in reading my initial review of the product and entering to win some free Slim-Fast for yourself, please visit my review blog, Mommy’s Must Haves!

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Full disclosure: I was provided with Slim-Fast products and coupons to facilitate my review. All opinions expressed here are my own and do not necessarily represent the views of Slim-Fast or anyone else.

Also, I’m a nurse, so listen closely: do not begin any weight loss program without first consulting your health care provider. Remember that weight loss is highly individual and what works for one person may not work for another. There’s no magic pill for losing weight – you still have to put in the effort. Products such as Slim-Fast are designed to aid you in your efforts through portion and calorie control, but they do not replace the effort itself.

Filed Under: reviews Tagged With:


Jun 13, 2011

The World is Upside Down

June 13, 2011 By

Ya know, sometimes you do everything right and get nothing for your hard work. And then sometimes you let things slide and find yourself rewarded for slacking off.

Consider last week one of the latter situations.

Despite trying to see the positive side of a plateau, I was still feeling irritated about being unable to make the scale move. That irritation translated into sloppy habits: grabbing not one but two cookies at work, eating fast food more often than I should, and choosing to not log my calories for a couple of days because it was just too tiring to think about.

I did go to my bootcamp class on Tuesday night, where I was completely whipped by my trainer. Not sure if that night’s routine was harder or if my lazy self was getting weaker, but I really struggled through it.

And then, on Saturday morning I stepped on the scale, fully ready to take the beating I deserved for a week of indulgence.

The number displayed was 166.8.

Not only did I finally break the 169 plateau, but I slid down over two pounds. I’m officially at my lowest adult weight ever.

I felt good, too. Looking in the mirror, I could see the two images of myself switching back and forth – still seeing the “fat me” that my poor, troubled brain perceives, but also seeing the muscle definition, the smaller waist and hips, and the healthier version that the mirror is really reflecting. I’m becoming healthy. I’m witnessing my risks for several diseases drop with each inch that disappears from my waist.

(And then I celebrated by eating too much that night and having cake for my husband’s birthday the next day. Eh, you win some, you lose some. No way I’m stepping on the scale again until I’ve had some time to detox from food overload. I seriously doubt I could get that lucky with the scale ever again.)

Filed Under: success, weigh-in Tagged With: , ,


Jun 6, 2011

Plateau, For Better Or Worse

June 6, 2011 By

I had planned to write a post about how much I hate this plateau I’m stuck on. I spend each week putting so much effort into losing weight – tracking calories, staying under a set amount, exercising with a mix of strength training and cardio – that it’s really frustrating to step on the scale at the end of that week and see no change.

I’m so close to a goal weight and yet so far from it. Plateau must be French for torturous insanity.

Then I went shopping this weekend for a new pair of dress pants and a few new shirts. I still had my usual experience of hating nearly everything I tried on myself. But I also discovered I was comfortably wearing a size 10 in my pants. Not skin-tight, suck-in-to-button, but slightly snug with some room for movement.

There, in the dressing room at Kohl’s, I suddenly came to two realizations. First, that just because I’m not losing weight doesn’t mean my body isn’t changing. And second, when I look in the mirror, I still see the fat girl who used to be me.

The last time I was at 169 pounds, I didn’t comfortably fit in a size 10. I was usually a size 12, and occasionally a size 14 to some cruel-hearted designers.

So either Lee is trying to make me feel better about my weight through some generous vanity sizing, or these legs and hips are part of a 169 pound body that has more muscle than before.

Yes, I still have tree-trunk legs, they’re just firmer tree trunks.

Which brings me to my second realization. Losing weight doesn’t mean you automatically lose the self-loathing that can continue to weigh down the perception of how you see yourself.

In my case, my brain has turned the mirror into a funhouse mirror – I look into it and where I should see myself smaller and healthier, I instead only see fat and imperfection. I feel heavy. (Which of course begs the question: how in the world did I manage to move around when I was 50 pounds heavier? Or 80 pounds heavier?)

The most frustrating part is that I KNOW I’m smaller! I see the numbers on the scale, I can wrap the measuring tape around me and see inches gone, I can put on jeans that used to be tight but now fall off of me without unbuttoning…all of these are indisputable evidence of losing weight. So why do I still see the fat girl looking back at me?

Maybe a plateau isn’t such a bad thing. Maybe my body is giving my brain a chance to catch up and realize all I’ve accomplished?

Working on shedding the heavy self-image may be even harder than losing the physical weight, though. You don’t find nearly as many guides for that sort of thing – is there a diet for losing a negative self-image?  

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: ,