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Aug 15, 2007

Three Haiku In Praise Of Coffee

August 15, 2007 By
(My childless, tea-drinking self from years ago would never believe I wrote this.)

Long night, baby cries
I pull up to the drive thru
“Welcome to Starbucks”

Eyes sting from no sleep
“Grande iced mocha with whip”
Mom’s Little Helper

Bitter chocolate taste
I’m addicted to mocha
Sweet caffeine mistress

Filed Under: me me me


Aug 14, 2007

WOHM, Now SAHM/WAHM*

August 14, 2007 By

It’s done.

Yesterday afternoon I did something that was, surprisingly, hard for me. I went back to work, where I met with my supervisor and handed over a crisp white envelope containing my letter of resignation.

I was due to come back to work next week. A little part of me knew deep down that it wasn’t going to happen, but the other larger percentage of my brain was still trying to leave the door open unless some miracle solution would appear to me like a burning bush.

It’s not that I wanted this job to be a career. It was only part-time, and I had my difficulties with some co-workers now and then. I was a student advisor, which was rewarding, but also meant I had to deal with a lot of obnoxious students who tried to work the system. It wasn’t what I had in mind when I graduated with a BA in History, and I’m currently back in school pursuing a nursing degree, so I knew I would never be there long.

But it was still hard. Damn hard. I nearly cried when handing over the letter, blubbering that I wish I could still work there, but circumstances being what they are, it’s not possible right now, blah, blah, blah.

There was no way it could work. Since losing the babysitting services of my friend, who charged a very low amount, I looked at other daycare options. But $1500 a month for three days a week is more than my salary, and even two days a week at $1000 would be my entire salary, making it pointless to leave both girls with someone else three days a week. I can make no money just as well from home as I can from working with the girls in daycare. Also, with the possibility of Cordy being diagnosed with a delay of some sort, I want to be available to get her any help she may need.

The truth is, I’m thrilled to be a stay at home mom. Thrilled that I will be able to continue breastfeeding without scheduling pumping sessions into my day. (And thankful, because so far Mira hates bottles.) Ecstatic that I get to be there every day as my second daughter grows and develops, instead of hearing what new trick she did at daycare.

I had planned to be a work at home mom when Cordy was born – at that point I had been working from home for four years – but then my former company cut telecommuting from its benefits while I was on maternity leave. Daycare had never been in my plan, but we were forced to find care quickly and leave infant Cordy there while we went into the office five days a week. I was miserable and depressed, which is why I sought out this part-time job I’m now leaving.

(Let me clarify at this point that I in no way see moms who work outside the home as bad moms. I just didn’t plan on working in an office when we decided to have kids, so it was a bit of a shock to me. I’m a big believer in “whatever works” parenting – whether for financial need or personal need. No SAHM-WOHM war here, OK?)

The other side of this is that I’m a little scared, too. It’s strange to not have a job to go to each week, or have an office as my home away from home. It’s frightening to realize our income is taking a serious hit and I will have to employ some drastic budget cutting strategies to make ends meet. There’s enough foreclosures in our neighborhood – I don’t want to be one of them. It’s also a little unnerving to have to think of something to do with the kids every. single. day. Oh, and have few chances at intelligent conversation with adults. I’ll miss that the most.

As I’ve said before, it’ll all work out somehow, and even though I’m very nervous about our finances, I’m grateful for the chance to be home with Mira and Cordy. And this change in status may give me the chance to find new work online – I’m already proud to be working for Family.com, and there’s always the possibility of finding other paid writing gigs.

If the past two years have taught me anything, it’s that I can’t fight the tidal wave of change that life sends my way – instead of being pulled under flailing and kicking, better to get on top of it and surf, baby, surf.

So here I am. A stay at home/work at home mom, arms outstretched and surfing along that wave.

*Translation: Work out of home mom, now stay at home mom/work at home mom

Filed Under: daily life, me me me, money, the J-O-B


Aug 13, 2007

Bits & Pieces

August 13, 2007 By

Mamamichelesbabies tagged me to reveal eight random things about me. I think I did this one recently, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to ignore her tag. Instead, I’ll modify it slightly to share some of my thoughts and updates that simply aren’t long enough for an entire post.

1. Cordy had her transition from the county to city school district early intervention today. Not one, not two, but three women showed up at our door to discuss where we’re going next. That’s three people to clean the house for, so I was up early trying to de-clutter as much as possible. The school district representative had to do a preliminary screening as a formality before the evaluation on September 5.

2. Can you guess how she behaved during this screening today? Yeah, like a perfectly normal, practically angelic two year old. Figures. I was half expecting her to offer them something to drink while she put away all her toys and made her bed. Still, they are going forward with the evaluation based on past screenings and my description of some of her behaviors. After they left, she had a big meltdown over a banana.

3. The onesie has now undergone three laundry treatments, and the stain has yet to relinquish its hold on the white cotton garment (although I do chip away at it a little each time). I’m going for the last-chance treatment: the bleach pen. Pray I don’t bleach myself and anything nearby in the process.

4. As an only child, I have to say I don’t know how second-born children ever get any sleep with a crazy older sibling around. Seriously, Mira doesn’t get a single good nap when Cordy is home. She can be in a deep sleep, and Cordy will run screaming past her, or accidentally kick her ball into the bouncer, or have a tantrum loud enough to wake her upstairs in her crib. My sympathies to all of you who were second born or later. You need a nap.

5. According to another neighbor, our next door neighbors (yes…them) will only be there through the end of September at the latest. They’ve already filed for bankruptcy, the house is included, but there is a state loophole that lets them live in the house another 60 days if they put it up for sale. So efforts to sell the house are all so they can live 60 days longer with no housing bill. I doubt they’re even doing much to stage the house. That would explain why the average visit by a potential buyer has been around two minutes. I don’t think they make it past the threshold of the front door.

6. How have I become such a bad bill payer? I used to pay every bill well ahead of time before kids. After Cordy, I still got everything paid by the deadline. Now? Unless it’s a bill I pay online, I’m lucky to remember to send the bill in before we get a second notice. Sigh. Must work on that.

7. But speaking of bills and money, I’m glad I took the time to look through all the bills from Mira’s birth. Turns out the stupid insurance forced me to overpay my doctor’s office by $500. The doctor’s office never bothered to tell me about the mistake, even after they noticed it. I called the doctor’s office last week to tell them I had found out about the overpayment, and I’d like a refund. I’ll get it in about 3-4 weeks. Had I never checked it out and called, they would have happily kept that $500. Check your insurance payments and bills carefully, readers. It could save you a lot of money. That money will help cover the other hospital bills.

8. I just realized that Mira is 11 weeks old. Next week marks the end of my federally granted 12 weeks of maternity leave from work. More on that tomorrow.

Filed Under: being a mom, Cordy, meme time, Mira


Aug 13, 2007

This Is My Daughter

August 13, 2007 By

Driving home from school last Thursday:

Me: (noticing a cut on Cordy’s knee) Cordy, how did you cut your leg?

Cordy: Leg? (pulls up leg to examine it)

Me: Yeah, how did you get the boo-boo on your knee?

Cordy: Boo-boo! (continued to look at the cut, tracing it with her finger)

At this point, I give up trying to get an answer from her and continue driving.

Cordy: Mommy! What letter?

Me: Huh? Do you see a letter somewhere?

Cordy: (very excited) What letter, mommy? What letter?

Me: (confused) Where do you see a letter?

Cordy: V!! It’s a V, mommy!

Me: Where do you see a V? (looking back at her)

Cordy: (pointing to the cut on her leg) It’s a V, mommy!

Me: (now realizing, and no longer enthused with this game) Yes, you’re right, Cordy. The cut on your leg does look like a V.

Forget the fact that she has a somewhat deep cut on her leg. Apparently she’s more interested in the shape it’s in. I go back to driving, wondering exactly where she rates on the 1 to 10 scale of creepy-weird.

Cordy: (again, very excited) What color, mommy?

Me: (not looking back) Oh, Cordy, let’s not play name-the-color-of-our-wounds, OK?

Cordy: (ignoring me, as usual) Mommy, what color?

Me: OK, fine. I give. What color?

Cordy: (practically exploding from her car seat in excitement) It’s RED! A RED V!! I have a red V!

Never mind. I know she’s an 11. Which means she fits right in with Aaron and I.

***************

Thank you to my fairy laundry godmothers for all of your advice! I’m still working on the stain (two products tried, stain won’t surrender), and will provide a full update soon after I’ve exhausted all available options, or I give up.

Filed Under: Cordy


Aug 8, 2007

Morning Drop Off and a Bottle Opener

August 8, 2007 By

Amazingly, Cordy wanted to go to school today. Actually came up to me at home and said, “School?” and then rushed me to get everything together and get out the door. She really wanted to get there! That is, until we actually got there. Then she changed her mind and wailed as if I was leaving her with Britney Spears as a babysitter. Ah well, it’s a little progress, right?

While trying to say goodbye, one teacher pointed out her shirt was on inside out. Oops. I could blame it on her trying to dress herself, but they would only laugh at me, knowing she would sooner explain Einstein’s theory of relativity than take any steps to put on her own clothing. No, mommy is clearly unable to pay attention to how she’s dressing her child.

Still, I’m impressed that she actually asked to go to school this morning, and even carried her backpack out to the car.

We received a call from our county early intervention contact, letting us know that the school district has decided to move up her evaluation one week to September 5. The thought of a public agency calling to move a scheduled date sooner rather than later is mind boggling.

Knowing they want to get her in as soon as possible is reassuring. Especially since yesterday we went to lunch at Bob Evans, where Cordy spent most of the meal under the table because a fly was bothering her. Actually, she’s starting retreating under the table more now when a restaurant is too loud or the lights are too bright or the stars aren’t aligned just so.

Today Cordy calmed down a little at school when I went through our goodbye routine, asking for a hug and a kiss, and reminding her that mommy and daddy always come back. Plus she had brought an item from home to hold, as she does most days.

Having something from home is a comfort to her when something sets her off, and helps the tantrums not last as long. The school normally doesn’t allow kids to bring toys with them, but they understand her particular temperament and make an exception for her. It usually goes into her backpack once she’s calmed down, and only brought out if she’s having a particularly bad day.

Of course, this morning Cordy decided to bring this with her as her comfort object. (Thanks, Sarah!) I can only imagine what they must think of us.

Filed Under: Cordy