The Land of Non Sequitur

The morning drive to take the girls to summer camp can be monotonous at times, but it’s never quiet. The running family joke is that after spending so much money on speech therapy to get Miranda to talk as a toddler, we now wish there was therapy to keep her quiet. 

The comedian who never stops talking.

It’s not that I’m some mean parent who doesn’t want to hear what’s on her child’s mind. I enjoy conversations I have with both girls. The problem is that whenever there is any silence, Mira feels compelled to fill it with the sound of her own voice. And on morning drives, as we’re fighting traffic and things are going slowly, her mind goes into overdrive throwing out random thoughts at a pace that makes even my ADD-mind dizzy.

A typical day in the car:

“Mommy?” (You know it’s going to be something random when she starts with this and keeps repeating it until I respond.)

“Yes, Mira?”

“When can we go camping?”

“I don’t know, Mira. But maybe we can try camping in our backyard first.”

“But we shouldn’t camp in the STREET, ’cause that’d be dangerous!” (laugh at her own joke)

“You’re right, that would not be safe, sweetie.”

Pause.

“Mommy?”

“Yes, Mira?”

“I think I want a pink car when I grow up. A BRIGHT pink car!”

“Pink? That’s fine, you can have whatever you want as long as you have a good job to afford it.”

“Oh, I will, mommy. I’m gonna deliver flowers to people. Or maybe be an animal doctor.”

“Hmmm. I’d vote for veterinarian. Better chance at affording that pink car.”

“Mommy?” (no pause this time, but clearly signaling a change in topic)

“What, Mira?”

“Cordy started losing her baby teeth at five, but I’m five and haven’t lost any yet.”

“She did, but everyone loses baby teeth at different times. You’ll lose yours when your adult teeth are ready.” (I begin discussing the way teeth grow, but get cut off)

“Oh! You know what, Mommy?”

Sigh. “What, Mira?”

“That tree over there has green leaves, but the one next to it has flowers and leaves!”

“You’re right, because they’re different types of trees.”

“And mommy? Mommy?”

“Yes, sweetie?”

“I think Cosmo likes his rope toy. He REALLY chews it.”

“Mira, what does that have to do with ANYTHING you’ve just said?”

(thinks for a moment) “I don’t know. He just really loves to chew his rope toy!”

“And mommy? What would happen if there was no gravity?…”

And it just keeps going and going.

It’s funny, but exhausting. Asking for a little silence gives me only a moment of quiet, while she builds up new topics in her head that will explode out a minute later.

I’m thinking the CIA should investigate this technique for getting captured spies to talk. Enduring this kind of random would make anyone crack.



I’m Such A Pushover

I’ve said before that I was a little nervous in adopting a dog. I was used to cats, I knew how they behaved and could expect it. Dogs were just such…dogs. They run around and crash into things like big oafs (well, if you have a big dog, and – to me – any dog smaller than my cats isn’t really a dog), they slobber, they chew and dig, etc.

So when we adopted Cosmo, I wanted rules in place for his behavior. We set up a baby gate at the foot of the stairs, giving the cats a safe place to avoid the dog, and also because I didn’t want him coming upstairs and chewing up the girls’ toys.

And I also declared he wasn’t going to be on the furniture. Ha. He made it clear from day one that he intended to join us on the couch. So we came up with a plan to keep a blanket on one corner of the couch, and teach him that he was allowed up, but only on his blanket.

How’s that going, you ask?

hey, can I get blanket?

Yep, total pushover. But it’s not entirely my fault. Cosmo has charmed his way into every privilege. Any visitor to our house will tell you what an awesome dog he is, and how he’s a dog who could change haters into lovers. He’s gentle with the kids, playful, protective, and wants only to be loved. Well, maybe some treats, too, if you’ve got any.

I’m holding firm on the no upstairs rule, though. Mainly because I’ve slept downstairs on the sofa bed once, and I can attest that the dog is a bed hog. At 85+ pounds, he’s not so easy to move, either.

Never did I predict that I would love this goofy puppy face so much.



Sally Ride: Aiming For The Stars

I was shocked to hear about the death of Sally Ride yesterday. Her name had been absent from the news for years (mostly of her own choosing), so we were all unaware she was battling cancer, but there was never a moment of “who?” when her death was announced. I’d guess most women my age recognized the name immediately, without the need to explain who she was. For me, I felt a small part of my childhood quietly pass on as I processed the news. Sally Ride. 61 years old. Gone.

In the early 80’s, space shuttle launches were a big deal. Our elementary school would file into the school library, packed in tight rows around the single A/V cart with the heavy TV perched on top, just to watch a space shuttle launch. It was a magical sight to watch the rockets fire and carry that black and white glider into space.

Seeing the first grainy photos and video of Sally Ride in space sent a message to girls everywhere that times were changing. We really could be ANYTHING we wanted to be. The space program was one of the most prominent achievements of science and engineering, and here was a woman proving that she could be a pioneer in that field just as well as any man.

This little girl saw Sally Ride and dreamed for the stars. She was my hero. In a time when girls still weren’t expected to do as well as boys in science, she inspired me to keep learning and exploring. Math and science were my best subjects, and knowing that they could possibly lead me to be an astronaut one day only strengthened my efforts. I wanted to be like Sally.

Even when the Challenger exploded, I remained committed. Sally was there in front of the media, reminding us that all progress carries risk, and while we mourned the loss of the Challenger crew we couldn’t let the tragedy keep us from moving forward. We were stronger than our fear and wouldn’t let their loss be for nothing. We would continue on.

It was because of Sally Ride that I went to Space Camp in seventh grade. (Well, Space Academy since I was too old for Space Camp by that point.) There were still a greater percentage of boys than girls at the Huntsville, Alabama facility, but there were girls. Girls who also saw Sally Ride become the first woman in space and were inspired to follow their own dreams of sitting in a space shuttle. It’s unlikely that many went on to become astronauts, but how many would then pursue careers in science, technology, engineering, or math? I’m betting Sally’s influence led to a huge increase for women in these fields.

And while I never did become an astronaut, Sally Ride inspired a love of science for me and helped me believe I could do anything I put my mind to. I never felt limited by my gender when it came to career choices. I could aim for the stars.

I still have a love for science, and I pulled both of my daughters close to me while watching a shuttle launch (oh, I hope they will remember!), full of emotion as I told them that they could someday see the world far below them like the astronauts do. Nothing is out of their reach if they have the desire to go after it.

Rest in peace, Sally. You were my hero and I hope your legacy will continue to inspire other girls to aim for the stars.



Face Time With Friends at Applebee’s (Giveaway!)

It’s funny how social media has made us closer and yet farther away than ever from our friends and family. Why bother calling and possibly disturbing someone when you can send a text or a tweet? We no longer have to ask, “So, how have you been?” because it’s all spelled out on our friend’s Facebook wall.

I have several friends who live in Columbus, but due to the logistics of work schedules, kids (mine), and being in different parts of the city, we rarely have the chance to get together. Yes, we should probably make more time for it, but we’ve all been guilty of letting other things get in the way.

I was recently invited to learn more about Applebee’s Life is Better Shared campaign. Their message is simple: we all spend a lot of time online, and probably have too much Facebook and not enough face-time with the people we love. It’s all about balance — it’s great to be so connected online, but it’s important to have some offline fun with friends, too. Applebee’s even has their own tumblr with some funny videos to help promote their Girls’ Night Out message. (They have a Girls’ Night Out Goddess – I can’t quite decide what I think of her. You’ll have to watch and decide for yourself.)

I’m no stranger to Applebee’s. It’s a common spot for the occasional family night out. We love their Kids Eat Free Tuesdays, and I really appreciate that the kids’ menu is standard enough to convince my picky eater to eat. (And even though it isn’t an option, they always let her choose a salad as her side.) But I’ve never really been to Applebee’s without the kids, despite seeing their promotions for Happy Hour and Girls’ Night Out.

So a few weeks ago, I decided it was time for a Girls’ Night Out. It also just so happened to be my birthday. I emailed two friends (who were my maid of honor and matron of honor in my wedding) and my sister-in-law and suggested we all have dinner out at Applebee’s. I haven’t had the chance to spend quality time with any of these three ladies in quite awhile.

My girl-power crew got there just at the end of Happy Hour, and the bar was surprisingly full. The vibe was great; the bar area had a mix of men and women of all ages, smiling, socializing and clearly enjoying their night out. It didn’t take long to decide where to start with the menu:

Applebees has great drinks, and I love that I can get a giant sized drink for less than the cost of a tiny drink in a nightclub. Three of us had two drinks before the night was through.

As we munched on appetizers of spinach & artichoke dip and wonton tacos chicken (OMG, I wanted to lick the plate these came on – so good!), the conversation came back quickly. Beyond the Facebook wall updates, we shared more intimate stories of our lives recently, discussing triumphs and frustrations, new places around town we had discovered and the lives of long-time friends.

When our meals arrived, the conversation stopped just long enough to appreciate the food in front of us, and then we began the delicate trade off of eating and talking. I was so glad my kids weren’t there – it took well over 45 minutes to finish our meals because of the non-stop conversation in-between bites. I had the sizzling Asian shrimp & broccoli – a favorite of mine. Lots of crisp veggies, plenty of shrimp, and it really does come out sizzling hot!

Yum!

As the sun set and the bar area became dark, we continued to laugh and commiserate, never short on topics to talk about, one blending into the next with no awkward silences. It felt awesome to spend time with friends in person, sharing a conversation over a meal.

And then, of course, since the waiter heard it was my birthday, the staff brought out a sundae and sang happy birthday to me. (I may have turned a lovely shade of crimson at that point.) Shortly after, I found out that my second drink was picked up by a gentleman at another table since it was my birthday. First time a stranger has ever bought me a drink! Sadly, he left before I had the chance to say thank you.

We finally left about two and a half hours after we arrived and only because everyone had to work the next day and didn’t want to stay out too late. Had time not been an issue, we probably could have entertained ourselves until closing.

I love that social media keeps me so close to my friends, day and night, but there’s something to be said for getting together in person to talk. Without the barrier of technology limitations between us, interactions feel more natural and relaxed. Our night at Applebee’s was a good reminder to unplug every now and then and make the time to share some of our time and our lives with friends face-to-face.

Now WIN some time out for yourself!

When’s the last time you had a Girls’ Night Out? A week ago? A month? A year? Applebee’s and I want to know, and BlogHer and Applebee’s are giving you a chance at a $150 Applebee’s gift card just by leaving your answer to that question in a comment below!

Rules:
No duplicate comments.
You may receive (2) total entries by selecting from the following entry methods:
a) Leave a comment in response to the sweepstakes prompt on this post
b) Tweet about this promotion and leave the URL to that tweet in a comment on this post
c) Blog about this promotion and leave the URL to that post in a comment on this post
d) For those with no Twitter or blog, read the official rules to learn about an alternate form of entry.
This giveaway is open to US Residents age 18 or older. Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail. You have 72 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected.
The Official Rules are available here.
This sweepstakes runs from 7/16/12 – 8/3/12.
Be sure to visit the Applebee’s Life Is Better Shared page on BlogHer.com where you can read other bloggers’ reviews and find more chances to win! Also, check out the Life is Better Shared campaign on Twitter, Pinterest, YouTube and Tumblr!

Good luck!



Dye-Free in a Brightly Colored World

A few weeks ago Cordy came home from summer camp with bright blue streaks down her legs and blue around her mouth. I could already smell the artificial raspberry flavor, but still asked her about how she ended up covered in blue. “We had popsicles at camp!” she happily explained.

“But sweetie, you know brightly colored foods aren’t good for you.”

“Yeah, I know,” she replied, “but it was a special treat!”

And that special treat left her distracted and less in control for days. Sigh.

When summer camp started, I asked about bringing in dye-free foods for snack time. They said we could but that it probably wasn’t necessary, as they were making efforts at healthy snacks this year and couldn’t think of any that would have dyes in them. Fruit, water, all-natural lemonade, graham crackers, cheese sticks, etc – all safe for Cordy to eat. With that knowledge, and a reminder to everyone about Cordy needing to avoid food dyes, I assumed we were in the clear when it came to snacks.

I guess I didn’t factor in “special” treats. Her class takes several field trips, and as a result they sometimes get a treat for the kids when they’re out and about. Cordy is aware that artificial food dyes make her feel bad and that she shouldn’t eat them, but she’s also a seven year old who, at that age, would have to show the impulse control of a zen master to say no to a treat when everyone else was getting one.

We consider her reaction to artificial food dyes an “allergy” even though it technically isn’t. It’s listed on all of her medical forms under allergy simply because it’s too complicated to provide the full explanation. Allergy produces a better response from others than “sensitivity” so that’s what we call it to get their attention. Only it still gets overlooked by teachers and caregivers far too often. It’s not life-threatening so therefore it isn’t given the same consideration as a peanut or shellfish allergy.

But we know it’s there. We’ve seen the difference between Cordy exposed to food dyes and Cordy without them. When she’s dye-free (and by that I mean hasn’t had any in over a week), she’s calmer, better able to focus, and seems more present in our world. Her repetitive behaviors (pacing back and forth, flapping, etc) are decreased, too. She’s more in control of herself and seems happier as a result.

When she was younger, people tried to tell me it wasn’t the dyes – we were just giving her too much sugar. So I set up my own test. I kept her dye free for over a week, then gave her a sucker (rock candy) that had no dye in it – pure sugar only. No reaction.

Days later, I gave her the same thing, only this one was bright blue with artificial coloring. Forty minutes later, the signs were there: she couldn’t sit still, she was irritable, emotionally out-of-control, and she wasn’t as interactive with us. She stayed like that for days, just from one little blue sucker. It was a frightening realization.

We’re not perfect with keeping her dye free, but we try to minimize the damage. Still, it’s very hard to find treats free of dyes. Annie’s makes fruit snacks without the artificial coloring. And Welch’s has all natural freeze-and-eat juice popsicles that look very similar to the artificial junk ones.

I also was recently told about Unreal, a line of candy that is free of artificial food dyes, but still looks and tastes like many of the popular candies we see everyday. It’s just rolling out, so it’s still hard to find, but I did manage to track down and buy it at Michael’s craft store. Their version of M&Ms? Really good.

So after the blue popsicle incident, we brought a bag full of Cordy’s treats to her summer camp to hand out to her when others are getting treats she can’t have. She’s usually pretty understanding about it, especially when we can give her some of the more yummy treats. But I know she longs for Starburst or a sucker now and then.

I only wish more food manufacturers would remove the bright food dyes from their foods. There’s no nutritional value to these dyes and there are natural dyes that can be used instead. Don’t believe me? Look at McDonald’s new Cherry Berry Chiller. That drink is about as bright pink-red as it could possibly be without glowing. I thought for sure it was one giant cocktail of dyes and artificial flavors, but it isn’t. It gets all of its color from fruit and vegetable sources, and the flavoring is all natural fruit juice and puree.

Who expected that?  If McDonald’s can do it, there’s no reason other companies can’t do it, too.

I hear more and more stories of parents who are discovering their kids are sensitive to food dyes. I know we’re not alone in experiencing some kind of adverse reaction to dyes. Research has linked it to hyperactivity. Some kids get rashes and eczema from red food dye. Others have stomach discomfort. Others – like Cordy – have various behavioral changes. And these dyes are in everything the kids come in contact with, from candy to mac and cheese, to chewable pain relievers and even toothpaste.

Europe has already figured this out, and most foods there are artificial-dye-free or contain warnings about having artificial coloring int them. What’s taking the United States so long to catch up with a public health issues that other first world countries have already known and addressed?

For now, we continue reading every label and try to educate those who care for our daughter about the importance of keeping her dye-free. It’s not that we’re crunchy green parents against all processed foods (because our grocery cart would prove we’re not) – it really is a matter of our daughter’s health.

Photo credit: Photos by *Micky