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Jun 25, 2009

Mid-Blog Crisis

June 25, 2009 By

Last weekend I attended PodCampOhio, a free conference for bloggers, vloggers, podcasting, and other types of social media. Overall, it was a great experience, and I feel like I learned a lot, while also meeting some new local bloggers, including those I already knew in name if not in person.

But one unexpected side effect of the event was an enhanced feeling of uneasiness with my blog. I’ve already been feeling as if I’m adrift lately, either due to a lack of focus or the possibility that my life has become so boring that I can’t find anything interesting to blog about. Don’t worry, I’m not pulling one of those I’m shutting down my blog 4-ever c-ya!!! dramatic moments, because that’s not what I want at all. I’m simply trying to refine and make this a better place for me and for everyone who stops by and cares for what I write.

One session I attended at PodCampOhio had me convinced I needed to “rebrand” my blog. I mean, after all, just look at my blog name: A Mommy Story. What in the world does that tell the reader about me? It says I’m a mom, and this is likely a mom blog. Well, that wouldn’t be so bad if there weren’t 163,946,037 OTHER mom blogs out there.

A Mommy Story is a somewhat dull name, created after the first three tries were already taken on Blogger back in 2005. Instead of taking the time to ponder and wait for inspiration to gift me with a creative name, I kept typing out new names desperately, because I had to have my blog now! now! now!

This session talked about setting yourself apart from your “competition” – offering unique value, being specific and remarkable, finding something to stand for, etc. Honestly, it was a lot of good information, even if it did send this blogger into a panic. I’ve screwed it all up from the beginning! I thought.

And then another session discussed good storytelling, and I realized I couldn’t tell you all about my blog in one sentence. Hmmm…maybe I’m not focused enough?

Finally, Dawn advised me that what I really needed to do was keep my blog name, but get my lazy butt off of Blogger and make the jump to WordPress, since Blogger isn’t always playing nice with some computers/browsers of late, which could be affecting my traffic.

So…yeah. I’m more confused than ever. Do I try to focus my scope more? Do I try to find an angle that works? Do I find a new blog name and rebrand? Do I switch to my own domain and WordPress? (OK, that last one really does need to happen. I am lazy, and I like the look of WordPress.)

Or do I just say to hell with all of that branding and narrative advice and keep on doing what I’m doing? I know some people will tell me that I shouldn’t worry about all of the superficial stuff like branding and contrived storyline focus. Writing should be organic, right? But I’m not one of those bloggers who can weave words with ease into artful essays, or come up with a story that is outrageously funny and over-the-top.

I’ll also admit: I do care about my stats, and I know I’m not supposed to care. I don’t like seeing that I’ve lost 1/4 of my traffic in the past year. Comments are down, making me wonder if I’m actually connecting with readers in a meaningful way or if my posts are still interesting. I still love every one of my readers like I love my chocolate cake – maybe even more so now that there are fewer of you.

(Side note: Wow, talk about rambling. This post counts as everything that might be wrong with my blog. All over the place without an editor. All I need for a truly dreadful post would be several different fonts, font sizes and colors throughout. Bear with me – I’m working through this as I type.)

So after writing all of this out, where does it leave me? Neurotic and in desperate need of a Xanax? Probably.

I’m not making any decision at the moment. I’m going to think on the topic at least until after BlogHer, then decide if I want to make any changes. Well, aside from the move to WordPress – I’m pretty certain on that one, once I learn CSS or save up for a good theme design. Maybe I’m just thinking too hard about this – after all, my birthday was also this weekend, and birthdays always make me susceptible to overthinking about what I’m doing with my life.

Feel free to add your thoughts to my one-person argument. I’d love to know what you want to see from me. Or how you solved a blogging crisis you’ve had. I know I’m really opening myself up to criticism here, and my flame-proof jacket is standing by. Just know that any comment of UR CRAZY = not helpful.

(Oh, I’m going to regret hitting publish on this one…)

Filed Under: me me me Tagged With:


Jun 22, 2009

Summer Camp, Week 2

June 22, 2009 By

After last week’s introduction to camp, I’m happy to say that no one has been ejected from camp. Yet.

On Wednesday morning, I saw Cordy’s after-care teacher and told her that I thought Cordy would do well now that she understood the routine. The teacher, however, was unconvinced and again tried to talk me out of leaving her in after-care. She yet again mentioned that Cordy needed other kids to play with because she was lonely. I assured her that Cordy loves to play by herself.

And then she said, “It’s not right for a child to be that upset. You didn’t see how she was on Monday. I’ve never seen anyone that upset before. I’m amazed they were able to carry her to the room.”

I was unimpressed. “Was she bleeding?” I asked.

“Uh, no.”

“Then she wasn’t that upset,” I explained. “When she’s so out of control that she hits her head on things until she bleeds, then call me. THAT is her ‘really upset’.”

“Well, you’ll be home today, right? I’ll call you to come get her if she has any problems.”

I rolled my eyes. “I hope you’ll try to work out the problems BEFORE calling me.” And with that, I left.

As I expected on Wednesday, after I had a long chat with Cordy about what to expect from the after-care routine, and after the teachers decided they would take her directly inside instead of to the pick-up area, Cordy had a fabulous time. When we went to pick her up, she was sitting quietly in the room with a teacher beside her, drawing picture after picture and describing what she was drawing.

They reported that she had no issues at all that day, and really enjoyed the afternoon. See? I know my kid.

The next morning, I saw the after-care teacher again, smiled sweetly and said, “I hear she had a great day yesterday! I told you it would all work out!”

No smile in return. Instead, she frowned and said, “Well, she didn’t have a fit, but she was clearly bored with no one else to play with.”

Whatever, lady. It must suck to be someone who can never be happy.

I spoke with a friend who works there, and she told me that this particular woman teaches kindergarten and is used to working with kids who have been in the daycare system since they were little. These kids know how the system works and give her few problems. Someone like Cordy doesn’t fit in with her idea of how children work.

On Friday, we had thunderstorms moving through Columbus at drop-off, and so all of the kids had to start the morning inside. Cordy was not happy with the group circle time inside, and Aaron had to stay with her for awhile while she cried from the change in routine and all of the noise caused by the echo in the room. She eventually calmed down and had a good day.

The humorous end to the week? On Friday, there were two children with Cordy in after-care.

And what was she doing?

Sitting quietly by herself, looking at a book.

My warrior princess is going to do just fine at camp, in spite of those who would rather she not be there because she’s different.

Filed Under: Autism, Cordy


Jun 21, 2009

Dueling Special Occasions

June 21, 2009 By

So when your birthday falls on the same day as Father’s Day, which one gets the day off? Or do they cancel themselves out entirely? I’m not really sure.

Of course, birthdays aren’t nearly as cool as an adult as they were when we were younger. I no longer wait with excited anticipation for the big day. Now I just hope to sleep in and get through the day without a meltdown from a child. And maybe an adult beverage in the evening.

Happy Father’s Day, Aaron. And happy 33rd to me. Hopefully double 3’s works out better than 32, with fewer new wrinkles and grey hairs.

Filed Under: me me me


Jun 17, 2009

A Hair Story, in Three Photos

June 17, 2009 By

Take one four year old with a thick head of curly hair that has reached unmanageable lengths and become heavy and sweaty:


Cut off about this much hair while she’s distracted watching Animaniacs:


And voila! A lighter, less sweaty ‘do perfect for summer camp:

(Be thankful she has curly hair to hide how uneven the cut is. Mommy went to nursing school, not cosmetology school, but this particular four year old is unwilling to sit for a proper haircut.)

Filed Under: Cordy, daily life


Jun 16, 2009

Unwanted on 1st Day of Camp – A New Record!

June 16, 2009 By

I was hoping for a first day of summer camp that would end with reports of “she did great!” and in some ways it did. But that statement was also followed with “until…”

Cordy’s camp ends at 1:30pm each day, and we arranged it so she stays in after-camp until 3:30 three days a week. She’ll be in all-day Pre-K in the fall, and she needs to start getting used to a longer day. I figured this was a good place to start. This morning I met her after-camp teacher, and after warning her that Cordy would likely be having a rough day today, her response? “Oh, I’ve cared for lots of kids and I’ve seen everything! There’s no kid I can’t handle!”

Today, at 1:45pm, I got the call from Aaron’s aunt. (The preschool director.) At the end of camp, they took Cordy to the front along with the other kids who were leaving at 1:30. She got to watch them leave while she was told she had to remain behind. Today she was the only kid in after-care. Naturally, she had a big meltdown. They were calling to ask me for advice on getting her out of her meltdown. I gave a few tips and hung up, my stomach in knots as I wondered if I’d get another call soon.

Half an hour went by, and I called back to see if she had calmed down. Aaron’s aunt said Cordy and her teacher took a walk to calm her down. I decided at this point to get her early, since it was her first day. When I arrived, they sent someone to find Cordy and her teacher. As they came around the corner, Cordy had a big grin on her face and didn’t seem distressed at the moment.

I hugged Cordy and asked her how her day was. It was then her after-care teacher said, “She is very tired and worn out. Camp is hard on her.” Cordy seemed a little tired, but nothing out of the ordinary to me.

And then the gut punch: “I really think you should pick her up right after camp each day.”

*blink* *blink*

“Well, I can’t do that,” I stammered, “I’ve already paid for her after-care, and I need the time while she’s gone to get things done.”

The teacher was unimpressed. “The camp day is too hard on her. She can’t handle a full day. And she has no other kids to play with.”

I’d like to pause in this conversation to remind everyone: FIRST DAY, PEOPLE!!!

I explained to the teacher that Cordy doesn’t know the routine at the moment, and that once she gets the hang of it she’ll handle transitions better. I also told her Cordy will be in Pre-K in the fall and needs to start transitioning to a full-day program. And I had been told right before they came around the corner that another child would be in after-camp next week.

“Well, we’ll see what happens on Wednesday…” And with that ending, she left.

We’ll see? Or what, she’ll be kicked out of after-camp? Holy hell, it’s only been one day! ONE DAY. Un dia.

Surely other kids act up on the first day of a new program. A child need not be on the spectrum to have a bad day, right? You can’t judge kids by their first day in camp.

I’m completely floored by this teacher’s response to Cordy. Especially since she was the teacher who declared herself some kind of child whisperer that can handle anything. I can’t decide if my mistake was in not telling her enough about what to expect from Cordy, or telling her anything at all and somehow biasing her against Cordy. Was I wrong to mention autism? I feel like we’re being scolded for thinking we could mainstream her. She doesn’t act like a perfect robot child, and so clearly she doesn’t belong here. Send her back to the land of misfit children where she belongs.

And strangely enough, when I spoke with her camp teacher, the report was the complete opposite. Her camp teacher loved her, and said that Cordy had a really good day. She didn’t like circle time singing, preferring to stand away from the group, and she clung to her swim instructor like a barnacle in the pool, but otherwise she had a lot of fun and followed directions. Her teacher was impressed at how she coped with her new schedule.

And that whole talk about being too tired? Cordy did look a little worn out, but she wasn’t sleepy. She didn’t nap the entire day, and was a bundle of energy when we got home.

We’ll see what happens on Wednesday, but I’ll be pissed if I again hear that Cordy should not be in after-camp care. I know my daughter is pretty amazing, and I know she’ll go on to earn many honors, but having the title of “Fastest ejection from a daycare” is an honor I’d rather she not have. Because I then might have to earn the title of “Loudest mother” for shouting HAVE A LITTLE FREAKIN’ PATIENCE! at her teacher. Which is still better than “Mother drinking herself into oblivion” from the stress of it all.

Filed Under: Autism, big issues, Cordy, daily life Tagged With: