I’ll Send You Her Therapy Bills

I’ve noticed a trend lately among friends, family and even complete strangers when they lay eyes on my two little girls together. It usually goes something like this:

Person: (gushing) “Oh, look at Cordy! She’s gorgeous! You know that, right? She could easily be a model. Those curls are so pretty, and her eyes are such a deep blue. She’s really is a beautiful little girl!”

Me: “Thank you! Yes, she is very pretty.”

*Person then turns gaze towards Mira, and then in a less exuberant voice:

Person: “Hi there, Mira! Cute outfit. You look just like your father, you know that? No denying who your daddy is!”

Me: “Um…yeah. She does have some of Aaron’s best features, making her pretty, too.”

That’s it. They tell us how pretty Cordy is, and then totally leave out that part when pointing out Mira’s appearance.

Poor kid. Rarely does anyone tell her she’s pretty. And while I would never emphasize a need for beauty in order to be successful (because I want to be a part of killing the stereotype that women need to focus on beauty), I worry that if this trend continues it might begin to affect her when she’s older and understands.

I’m pretty too, dammit

I know I’d start to feel inadequate if someone close to me was constantly praised for her beauty while I was given a passing remark about a family resemblance. Even with constant self-esteem building, it might be enough to put a dent into an armor of confidence.

And it’s not like Aaron needs a bag on his head to go out in public, either. I’m biased, but others have confirmed for me that he is generally thought to be good-looking. But often any comparison between Aaron and Mira is said without as much…excitement? or as if there’s another message hidden underneath? I can’t be sure. Maybe I’m totally reading into something that is more shallow than I thought.

Either way, if Mira looks like Aaron it’s a good thing. She has his eyes. She sports a lovely olive skin tone that will keep her from burning in the sun, unlike me and Cordy who look out a sunny window and turn pink. It’s possible she’ll have her father’s curls, too. It’s not like she’s sporting his beard, ya know?

Hopefully these specific conversations will fade away as Mira gets older and people are more careful with their words, as we all are with other adults. And despite who is the prettiest, both girls will continue to be valued at home for their personalities and accomplishments. In our house there is no “ugly” sister – just two girls treasured because of who they are in total.

And besides, it’s not like Cordy hasn’t had her share of not-so-pretty days:


Not too far off from this, is it?



Haiku Friday: New Year’s Resolutions

Haiku Friday
My resolutions?
Eat better, exercise? Not
specific enough.

Spend more time with my
family, maybe even
be more domestic.

Look for the good, even
in a bad situation,
and be more helpful.

Prepare a facelift
for this blog – a new look for
a new year, new me.

I also will share
more stories with you – a look
deeper in my head.

Find time for lost loves:
knitting and the hum of an
old sewing machine

I want the new year
to be my best year yet – a
year of renewal.

Are you making resolutions for the new year? If so, what are they?

To play along for Haiku Friday, follow these steps:

1. Write your own haiku on your blog. You can do one or many, all following a theme or just random. What’s a haiku, you ask? Click here.

2. Sign the Mister Linky below with your name and the link to your haiku post (the specific post URL, not your main blog URL). DON’T sign unless you have a haiku this week. If you need help with this, please let me know.

3. Pick up a Haiku Friday button to display on the post or in your sidebar by clicking the button at the top.

REMEMBER: Do not post your link unless you have a haiku this week! I will delete any links without haiku!



What You Get When You Give A 4-Year Old A Camera For Christmas

From Cordy’s new Little Tikes camera:







And when said 4-year old’s 19-month sister gets her hands on the same Little Tikes camera, you get these pictures…






…and about 130 more exactly like them.



…And A Happy You Here

For those of you celebrating Christmas – or just wanting to see something cute while eating your Chinese take-out – a little holiday song by Cordy. (If you’re reading the feed you may need to click-thru to see it.)

We Wish You… from Christina M on Vimeo.

And one more, with a typical little-sister upstaging by Mira at the end. Watch your sound folks – Mira’s surprise entrance is a wee bit loud.

Jingle Bells from Christina M on Vimeo.

Enjoy your December 24th, whether it be celebrating Christmas Eve at home or at a party, lighting the fourth night of Hanukkah candles, or just kicking back and watching everyone scurry like mice to find their last gifts as you sip hot chocolate and watch the snow fall.



I Happily Handed Over $34.99 For This Memory

When we received an invite for a birthday party at the Columbus Zoo, I was excited at the possibility of killing four birds with one stone. (Yeah, I’m skilled like that. Two? That’s nothing.) (And those would be proverbial birds. No real birds were harmed in the writing of this post.)

Not only would we celebrate the birthday of two friends, but we’d also be there after sunset, so we could see the Wildlights display. And we’d visit the model trains – an obsession shared by both of my girls. AND we’d see Santa, if Cordy could work up the nerve this year.

We tried to see Santa last year at the zoo, and if you don’t feel like reading the recap, I can sum up: it went poorly. Even though Cordy wanted nothing more than to meet the great giver of all things present-y and peppermint-y, she couldn’t handle the reality of meeting him live.

This year she said she was ready, and promised to sit on his lap so she could get a candy cane.

Too bad we weren’t ready for the Arctic Circle to relocate to Ohio yesterday.

Walking from the parking lot to the front of the zoo was painful. Even though we had probably the closest parking spot ever, the wind was sharp and bitterly cold. In that short walk, both girls sported bright red cheeks, and I could no longer feel my fingers.

Thankfully, the party was just inside the gate. While Cordy made a jingle bell necklace and ate cake, Aaron and I considered the idea of telling her Santa was too busy to visit the zoo this year and bailing out quickly after the party.

When we walked outside again, though, the skies had darkened and the glowing light displays surrounded us. Cordy immediately wanted to visit all of the animals in the zoo and find Santa, despite a wind chill of -10F.

We took her to the train exhibit to distract the girls while we discussed our options. We could 1. Leave and risk the disappointment of one little girl prone to tantrums or 2. Risk freezing our limbs off to go to the back of the zoo where Santa waited. With a sigh we decided to risk frostbite.

I won’t give the full details of the walk to Santa, although I can affirm that statements like, “If you want to see Santa, you need to RUN, Cordy! Santa likes little girls who can keep up!” may have been uttered. A few expletives surrounding statements like “My nose hairs are frozen” and “I think the blood is freezing in my fingers” may have been overheard as well.

After what felt like a glacial eternity, we made it to Santa, and – surprise, surprise! – there was no line! Hear that, parents? If you want to avoid the wait and have Santa all to yourself, you only need visit when it’s not safe for skin to be exposed to the frigid air!

Cordy was a bundle of excitement when she saw Santa. We wound through the path to get to him and when we reached the platform, she hesitated for a moment. Here we go again, I thought. Prepare for her to run.

But she didn’t. Instead, she nervously let him lift her onto his lap. Without waiting for an introduction or the question to be asked, she blurted out, “Santa, I want a candy cane for Christmas!” He then asked her what else she wanted for Christmas, but again she only asked for a candy cane.

I then placed Mira on Santa’s other knee, and as I predicted last year, she started to cry right away. The photographer was trying to get them to look at the camera, and so Aaron and I crouched down beside each child, Aaron trying to focus Cordy’s attention, while I attempted to calm the toddler who thought she was going to be eaten by a giant white beard.

After the snapshot, Santa tried to talk with Cordy some more, but Cordy paid no attention to him and reached for a candy cane in the basket next to him. She did her duty, and now wanted her reward. As she wandered around the platform, Santa looked at me and said with a smile, “I think I’m enjoying myself talk more than she is.” I patted Cordy on the head and replied “Focus is hard for her. But trust me – she’s happy.”

We stopped by the kiosk on the way out to view our photo. I had no plans to buy a photo, but then I saw it on the screen. It’s a memory of the first time Cordy has willingly met with Santa, and only the second time ever that all four of us have been in a photo together. (Seriously, I’m usually the one behind the camera. You’d have a hard time proving we’re a family from photographic evidence alone.)

So we bought the big photo package, with multiple pictures for family members, two photo snowflake ornaments and the silly photo snowglobe. They totally made me fall for the moment of my two girls with Santa, even though Mira was upset, even though we were all in winter parkas, even thought Santa had a fake beard, even though we weren’t all looking at the camera, even though it was painfully cold.

Cordy’s willingness to accept the situation and not freak out was impressive and showed me just how fast she’s growing up. And seeing my entire family together and (relatively) happy on that computer screen brought up a warm, happy feeling in me that dulled the sharp cold for that long walk back to the car. It was worth it.