Haiku Friday: Simple Beauty

On this warm spring day
she is a beauty in red
sitting in the grass


Her eyes pierce your soul
rarely a smile from her lips
always serious

To play along for Haiku Friday, follow these steps:

1. Write your own haiku on your blog. You can do one or many, all following a theme or just random. What’s a haiku, you ask? Click here.

2. Sign the Mister Linky below or at Jennifer’s blog with your name and the link to your haiku post (the specific post URL, not your generic blog URL). DON’T sign unless you have a haiku this week. If you need help with this, contact Jennifer or myself.

3. Pick up a Haiku Friday button to display on the post or in your sidebar by clicking the button at the top.

REMEMBER: Do not post your link unless you have a haiku this week! We will delete any links without haiku!

I’ve also got a review of another DVD intended for kids on the autism spectrum on Mommy’s Must Haves today. Read about Skill-Building Buddies and learn how you can win a copy.



I’m Going For A Walk – Will You Join Me?

When I was younger and had a lot more time, I participated in a few charity 5K races. Oh, don’t think for a second that I ran them. Winning didn’t matter to me, and besides, if I ran them I would have passed out before I hit 1K. A nice brisk walk was just fine for me, along with several others. I was there to support the cause, not to kill myself.

I’ve been wanting to do some of those again, and out of the blue I found and signed up for one that is May 3. Bonus: no running needed. Even better? It’s a cause I’m deeply committed to.

The Walk Now For Autism event is being held in Cincinnati on May 3, and I’ll be there with Mira on my back and Cordy and Aaron by my side. This walk is a fundraising event for Autism Speaks, an organization that is dedicated to increasing awareness about autism spectrum disorders, as well as funding research into the causes, prevention, treatments and cure for autism.

As many of you know, Cordelia was diagnosed as being on the autistic spectrum last fall. Officially, it’s PDD-NOS (pervasive developmental disorder, not otherwise specified), which means that she has autism-related delays in speech, motor skills, and social skills. I probably should have had her evaluated earlier. It took some time for me to accept that Cordy was different from many of her peers, but the full impact hit me when she was enrolled in a preschool last summer and we were told that she did not fit in well and had been permanently removed from the Friday assembly because of her inability to transition well.

She screamed as if she was in pain when they tried to make her fingerpaint. She fell to the ground, wailing, when her classmates got too loud. While the class watched a movie, she was off in another corner of the room, talking to herself as she lined up toys and created new patterns with colored blocks. And she never talked to the other kids – it was like they didn’t exist to her. If another child said hi to her, she ignored him or looked confused, not sure what to do.

She’s been attending a special needs preschool since the fall, and thanks to the therapy she receives there, her transformation has been amazing. She uses eating utensils now, something she never did before because she was afraid of dropping something gooey onto herself. She doesn’t get upset when I leave. She says hi to other kids and can name all of her friends at school. She fingerpaints! She sings! She uses full sentences to ask for things, and has even started saying “I’m sad,” instead of having a meltdown when she doesn’t get her way.

In fact, her meltdowns, which used to be a nearly daily occurrence, are now one or two a month, if that. She no longer tries to hurt herself by hitting her head on the floor, either. That has probably been the best change for me.

I can also put barrettes in her hair now. BIG accomplishment.

None of these things would have come so quickly (or at all) without help from her therapists and her skilled teachers. She still must deal with sensory issues upsetting her. She still relies too heavily on scripts (scripted phrases she repeats over and over), and while she’s more social with other kids now, the nuances of social interaction remain foreign to her.

However, these things will come with time and work. Her teacher reports that she has an amazing vocabulary and is far ahead of many of her classmates in letters, numbers, and other academic areas. She’s a smart girl with a bright future ahead of her, partially thanks to early intervention.

So it’s no surprise why I would want to participate in Walk Now For Autism. The research that has been done so far is already helping Cordy, and I want to see further research done to improve the therapies available for her and other kids on the spectrum. Cordy only gets a small amount of group therapy in her class each week (one hour of PT, OT, and speech), and while we are eligible for more therapy through the county, the wait list is long right now. We have one of the best health insurance plans in Ohio, yet our insurance refuses to pay for any therapy for Cordy. Autism is considered an “incurable and untreatable” condition by many insurance companies, and as a result any therapy must come out of pocket for us.

I also want to see more research into finding the causes of autism. Mira is nearing a year old, which is when we began to see some of Cordy’s quirks emerge. My fear that I will lose Mira’s outgoing nature to this disorder is understandable. I’m holding my breath, watching her carefully, and will likely not exhale until I see that she is a typically developing three year old. I wouldn’t trade Cordy for anything the world could offer, but parenting a child on the spectrum does have additional struggles, and having to do it twice is hard to imagine.

I set a modest goal of raising $250 for the walk. I think I can raise that amount in a week and a half, and would love to raise even more than that if possible.(Edited to add: Thanks to your generous donations, I’m now raising the goal to $500!) Would you consider contributing to my walk? Even $5 helps. Locals who want to walk with us on May 3 are also welcome to join my team. Online donations go straight to Autism Speaks, and like any donation to charity, are tax deductible. Thanks for anything you can give.

Also, while I’m on this topic, read my review of the Kibbles Rockin’ Clubhouse DVD at Mommy’s Must Haves today. It’s a DVD designed for children on the spectrum that teaches social skills, along with providing strategies for parents using music therapy and speech therapy.



I Feel 27 Again (Well, 27 Plus Two Kids)

I guess it’s been awhile since I gave a Hot by BlogHer update. You might wonder how I’ve been spending the past month, and if I’ve been keeping to the (vague) goals I set for myself.

The verdict is: it’s working. Here’s the breakdown.

Weight: I’m now down ten pounds since I said enough is enough. Did you catch that? T-E-N pounds! Sure, ten pounds in two and a half months isn’t a lot of weight – it works out to roughly a pound a week.

But those ten pounds have even more significance than half a dress size lost. First, my weight now begins with a 1 and not a 2. That’s an impressive feat, considering at one point in my life I weighed 245 pounds. Also, I’m now at the same weight that was recorded as my “starting weight” back when I was 27 and sitting in my paper gown on the cold table for my very first OB appointment ever. I haven’t seen those numbers since that day my doctor confirmed that Cordy was on her way into our lives.

Food & Exercise: I’ve cut a lot of the junk out of my diet. Fast food still hasn’t been eliminated from my diet, but when we do eat out, I’m making healthier choices, eating more vegetables, and passing on giant desserts. Portion sizes are the key for me – I’m still eating some of the junk I love, but not as much of it. Just two days ago, Aaron and I went out for ice cream, and instead of getting my own giant scoop of Graeter’s cotton candy ice cream in a chocolate-dipped waffle cone, we split a hot fudge sundae, and I ate maybe 1/3 of it total. Maybe less.

Exercise is, well, always a stumbling point for me. Finding time is hard, and finding the energy is even harder. I’ve been inspired by Karen, though, and now that the weather is nice I’m taking the girls out for long walks, and then trying to do a little weights work at home following the method that Madonna’s trainer uses. (Hey, if it works, right?) My goal for the next month is to make exercise my #1 priority.

Self-image: Earlier this month, I attended Camp Baby in NJ, and at first I was a little nervous about seeing some of the gorgeous women bloggers I know. I fretted over what to wear and how to do my hair, and for one tiny moment worried that no one would talk to me because I wasn’t worth talking to. However, I caught myself and quickly dropped the negative self-talk, and resolved to have a great time. I wasn’t going to let my self-image ruin this trip. I did talk to lots of bloggers, big and small, I dressed for comfort, and only rarely did I feel insecure.

Overall, I’d give myself a solid ‘B’ for my efforts. There are still lots of things I could improve on, but the changes I’ve made so far are working, even if they’re not producing results as fast as I might prefer. I don’t feel deprived of anything, I’m losing weight, currently at my lowest weight in four years, and I’m feeling better about myself. July is coming up quickly – I’m going to be ready for it. Maybe I’ll even wear a cute summer dress to one of the cocktail parties at BlogHer this year?

How is everyone else doing?



What Happened To Worrying About Monsters?

While putting Cordy to bed:

Cordy: I can’t go to sleep. I’m scared.

Aaron: What are you scared of?

Cordy: I’m scared I won’t ever wake up again.

How do you respond to THAT?

Edited to add: Many of you asked how we responded. I think we mumbled something about how she will always wake up in the morning and we’ll eat waffles just like we always do. I mean, really, who expects that from a three year old?

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One thing Cordy certainly isn’t scared of is trains. I’m reviewing the new Thomas & Friends – Engines & Escapades DVD at Mommy’s Must Haves today.



Out Of Town For A Few Days

I’m currently sitting in the airport waiting for my (delayed) flight to New Jersey. Have I mentioned how much I hate flying? It took me weeks to build up the nerve to get on the plane that took me to BlogHer 06, and I still wish I could apologize to the poor businessman sitting next to me on the first flight. Sorry, dude, I really didn’t mean to grab your arm with a death grip when we took off. And you probably didn’t enjoy watching me take deep breaths to keep from hyperventilating.

So now I’m trying to mentally prep myself for this flight, too. I tried getting a prescription for Xanax this week, but our insurance requires we call for pre-authorization for any behavioral health issue. As you can expect, the counselor on the phone wanted to talk about my feelings and what the underlying issues could be to cause my anxiety and avoid the fact that I just need a damn Xanax! He suggested a psychologist, and I told him forget it because I was flying in a week.

But I think I’ll have a blast once I get there. I’ll be meeting up with lots of other bloggers for three days of fun. Even if the event isn’t fun, we’ll still find ways to make it interesting. I’ll be posting updates over at Mommy’s Must Haves because this is a sponsored trip.

In the meantime, say a little prayer for a safe flight today. And say a little prayer for Aaron, too, who is valiantly on his own with our two little monsters daughters. I’m glad to get a break, but I know I’ll miss all of them very much.