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Sep 12, 2007

So. Not. Funny.

September 12, 2007 By

You may not have seen me around your blogs much this week. I know, I’m a bad blog citizen, but I have a good excuse. You see, I’m just a little more tired than normal. Along with a baby who still insists on eating at night, I also have an early riser toddler who thinks that the entire world should be awake when she is. After all, before sunrise is the best part of the day, right?

I wrote about some of Cordy’s new accomplishments at Cirque du Mommy. She’s learning new tricks way too fast for me, and I’m not sure if I should praise her or discourage her. I can handle her turning on lights, although she’s now turning on every light in the house multiple times a day. And while opening her bedroom door, despite the childproofing doorknob cover, is an impressive trick, she is only successful on rare occasions.

Sunday afternoon, she was in her room playing while I was in my bedroom sorting laundry. In the middle of sorting underwear from socks, I heard a loud beeping that nearly made me jump out of my skin. I looked around, wondering where the noise was coming from. I then noticed the lights flashing on our baby monitor. Three more shrill beeps came from it as I picked it up, trying to figure out what the problem was. I looked in on Cordy, and found her pushing the buttons on the monitor in her room – apparently while turning on the lullaby she also found the “Page” button. I distracted her and moved the monitor a little further away from the edge of the bookcase.

“Looks like she found a way to use the page button,” I told Aaron when I came downstairs.

“Great,” he replied, rolling his eyes.

“Think she knows that it makes our receiver beep? Will she use this against us?”

“Dunno. Hope not.”

5AM, yesterday morning:

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Damn.

Filed Under: Cordy


Sep 10, 2007

OK, Facebook, Let Me Get This Straight…

September 10, 2007 By

I just want to make sure we’re on the same page here.

According to you, Facebook, pictures like this are OK on a person’s profile:

Both Lil’ Kim, but I can find many others if you’d like.

However, this picture will get your account banned:

Lunchtime, BlogHer 2007

Those are the rules? Are you f’ing kidding me? Can I point out that she’s showing far more breast than I am? The only difference is that she has some titillating flashy object barely covering her nipples, while I have a hungry infant covering mine.

I’m so tired of the argument that breastfeeding is obscene. It’s not obscene – it’s nature’s way of providing nourishment for infant mammals that, until the past 60 years and the push of the formula companies, has been the primary way humans feed their infants. Do you think women in the past hid in their houses to feed their babies? Hell no, there was work to do! They wore their children and nursed on demand. There’s plenty of evidence for nursing clothing throughout history, showing women could still go out in public and feed their babies. (Here’s a replica of a 16th century gown that was often used as a nursing gown – hence the slits on both sides from the shoulder to just past the breast.)

Sadly, we’re a culture focused on sex. Breasts are thought of as sexual objects only, entirely missing the real point of why they’re there. Breasts hanging out with only the nipple covered in a provocative way? That’s fine! Everyone come look! Here little boy, want a poster to hang on your bedroom wall to jack off to? Here you go!

But show a baby on an exposed breast? OMG, HIDE THE KIDS! YOU SLUTTY EXHIBITIONIST! STOP POLLUTING THE PUBLIC WITH YOUR SHAMEFUL MILK-FILLED BREASTS!

It’s insane.

A quick tangent on feeding a baby in public: Before kids, I believed it was OK to breastfeed in public. Babies gotta eat, right? After having kids, I’m now so much more sure of my position on this. I could barely breastfeed Cordy, due to a long chain of events, so I don’t have a problem with the idea of formula. It’s not rat poison – it is the next best thing to breastmilk, and I’m grateful I had it available to me when breastfeeding didn’t work. But breastmilk is the perfect food for a baby, so I was determined to try again for my second child.

With Mira, she wants the breast and nothing else. Breastmilk in a bottle isn’t even acceptable. Should I starve my child, or lock myself away until she’s weaned? Sorry, not going to happen. I will feed her anywhere, at any time, and will defend my right to do so.

You can be sure that if I’m feeding her in public, I won’t be using a blanket. But I also won’t be taking off my shirt, flapping my breast around for all to see while shouting “Look at me! Look at me!”, and squirting breastmilk all over the floor before I feed her. I doubt even 1% of breastfeeding women would do any of that. Most of us just want to feed our child in peace, and I promise our breastmilk will not end up on you. Don’t be grossed out by breastmilk – it’s actually full of antibacterial goodies, and after all, just think of where that glass of cow’s milk you’re drinking came from. And if you find my breasts sexually stimulating while I’m feeding my child (which I don’t know how, since you can’t see that much), then that’s your problem, not mine – you’d probably find an old shoe sexually stimulating, too.

As for pictures of breastfeeding? Facebook, your priorities are clearly in the wrong place. I can find hundreds of barely covered breasts being shown for a sexual purpose amongst your members. Why are those pictures still there, but you are banning women who show pictures of breastfeeding? Did you ever think that promoting breastfeeding on social networking sites might help other women feel more comfortable with breastfeeding their babies? And don’t we all agree that healthier babies are a Good Thing?

Are you a Facebook member? Consider joining the Hey Facebook, breastfeeding is not obscene! group to show support.

Edited to add: Just to clarify, I haven’t been banned from Facebook, but others have because they posted breastfeeding pictures. I’m generally not someone who likes to flaunt my breastfeeding pictures, but because of this, I’m adding my picture to my Facebook account.

Filed Under: big issues


Sep 8, 2007

Velvet Underground

September 8, 2007 By

In my early to mid-twenties, I liked to go out dancing with friends and boyfriend (now husband). Our group of friends were not the preppy 90’s crew, or even the grunge scene type. No, we liked the goth/alternative clubs, and so we dressed accordingly.

In my closet are a wide array of bad clothing choices from that period, most of which involve velvet. I don’t know why, but somehow I equated “alternative” with velvet. There’s a stretch velvet top that is iridescent – pink or green depending on the light. There’s the black lace dress with velvet trim. I also had the dark green crushed velvet tie crop top with matching stretch crushed velvet flare pants – purchased from a store that sells stripper wear.

And then there’s this:


The red velvet halter mini-dress with sparkles at the bottom. It may not be the worst, but on me it was the worst. First, I never had the legs to carry off a dress that short. And a halter top on me is not that flattering. I’ve never had the large breasts needed to give the top of that dress the shape it needs to not draw attention to even the smallest belly bulge.

I bought the dress at a college clothing resale shop, and I really should take it back there. I mean, do I honestly think I’ll ever wear this dress again?

Still, it could be worse. I’m not the only one in the family with lapses in fashion judgment:

This is Aaron’s clubbing shirt. He still threatens to wear it out again.


Want a chance to win a $250 Coach gift certificate? Submit your worst fashion faux pas that still resides in your closet to the Parent Bloggers Blog Blast in honor of the new Harper Collins book The Little Black Book of Style. You have until midnight tonight.

Filed Under: me me me Tagged With:


Sep 7, 2007

Haiku Friday: Little Monkeys

September 7, 2007 By
A new study says
Toddlers smarter than monkeys
Evolution works

I had to laugh at the study. Any parent could tell you that a toddler can watch a person complete a task, like opening a cookie container, and copy the actions. OK, we probably aren’t so good at telling you how a monkey would respond, but we know how smart toddlers are.

What they didn’t reveal in the study is the likelihood that the toddler will do said task when you’re not watching, at the most inopportune time, or perform a task you really didn’t want them to copy. Like flipping someone the bird.

Haiku Friday

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With:


Sep 7, 2007

Haiku Fridays

September 7, 2007 By

A little poem
Five, seven and five is all
Come and play with us?

Admit it – it’s hard to come up with a long post right before the weekend. So join Jennifer from Playgroups Are No Place For Children and I for Haiku Friday and exercise your writing talents with a simple poem.

The rules are simple. Include at least one haiku in a post on a Friday, and link back to this post (you can use the button below if you’d like). Feel free to elaborate on your haiku, or write several haiku to tell a story. Just have fun!

For those who don’t know, a haiku is a short poem written in three lines. The first line has five syllables, the second has seven syllables, and the third has five syllables. Easy, right?

Once you’ve written it, be sure to sign the Mr Linky so others can come find your haiku! You can find the Mr Linky each week on the current Friday haiku that Jennifer and I post. And go ahead and use our button, too. Here’s the code:

[a href=”http://amommystory.blogspot.com/2007/09/haiku-fridays.html”][img src=”http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1047/1338959961_a93cf33414_o.jpg” alt=”Haiku Friday” height=”117″ width=”150″] [/a]

(Replace these [ ] with these to make the button appear.)

Click here for the haiku for this week (July 17).

Filed Under: Haiku Fridays