Christina, Author at A Mommy Story

Feb 15, 2008

Haiku Friday: Blogger Baby Boom

February 15, 2008 By Christina

2007
was only the start of a
blogging baby boom

Lots of new preggos –
Is it catching? Then pass me
my birth control, please.

Apparently 2008 is the year of the baby here in the blog world. Is it a virus, spreading blog to blog? Is it contagious? With each new pregnancy announcement, I start to sweat a little, wondering if a second form of birth control should be added to the regimen. Can’t be too careful, right? I mean, my two girls are adorable, but the thought of a third one right now makes me nauseous.

So to all of you pregnant bloggers out there – I love you, I’m excited for you, and I will keep reading (and I want you to come visit me, too), but keep your maternity cooties to yourself, OK?

To play along for Haiku Friday, follow these steps:

1. Write your own haiku on your blog. You can do one or many, all following a theme or just random. What’s a haiku, you ask? Click here.

2. Sign the Mister Linky below or at Jennifer’s blog with your name and the link to your haiku post (the specific post URL, not your generic blog URL). If you need help with this, contact Jennifer or myself.

3. Pick up a Haiku Friday button to display on the post or in your sidebar by clicking the button above.

Filed Under: Haiku Fridays, mom blogs Tagged With: blog love

Feb 13, 2008

Hot by Blogher: Let’s Talk Food

February 13, 2008 By Christina

I promised that my Hot by Blogher (button coming soon!) post would only be the first of many, and I’m making good on that.

Today, I’m thinking about food. Fooooooood…yummm. *drool*

Food and I have been BFFs for a long, long time. Possibly codependent lovers, even. When I find good food, it’s hard to stop eating. Food and I sometimes party long past the point when others would call it a night, and then the next morning I do my walk of shame past the fridge, regretting all that I ate as I avoid making eye contact with the pantry.

Have you ever heard someone casually say, “Oh, I forgot to eat today…” Yeah, well, those words have never escaped my lips. I’ve had moments where I’ve been extremely busy – forgetting meetings, dinners with friends, or forgetting my ID when going out – but never ever have I forgotten to eat.

That’s part of the reason I’m at this point today. My love affair with food has reached a toxic level, and in order to be healthier, I need to redefine that relationship.

Here’s my master plan to deal with food: less and more.

What do I mean by less and more? Well, I’ll start by less of this:

Emphasis on less chocolate…

and more of this:

Heaven in a box: chocolate yet only 100 calories.

Less of this:

Neon orange isn’t a food color found in nature.

and more of this:

Still processed, but at least it contains real veggies.

Less of this:

What do you mean ice cream isn’t a side dish?

and more of this:

I’m surprised by how much I love these.

Also more fruits and fresh foods, but I need to go to the grocery, so I don’t have any of those to show you at the moment.

Simple, no? OK, well, it’s a little more complicated than that. I will be making a conscious effort to include lower fat, less processed food in my diet. More veggies and fruit, less junk. And when I do eat junk, I’ll try for junk with less calories or a smaller portion size.

I’m trying to keep my calories down as well, but there is no exact number and no food is off-limits. I’m keeping a rough estimate of how many calories I’m eating each day, with a goal somewhere around 1600-1800. The other rule is that one day a week, I’m free to eat however I want, with no calorie counting at all. I did that on Saturday, and found that after eating well for several days, I couldn’t eat enough to do much damage.

This might sound really lax to many, but from past experience I know that setting strict rules for myself doesn’t work. If it works for you, great – post a list of rules on your fridge and use them to keep yourself accountable. But I’ve tried most of the diets out there – strict calorie counting, Weight Watchers points, no-carb, the soup diet, the food-of-the-week diet, etc. – and always ended up “cheating” at some point and giving up. It never works.

I’m not on a diet. I’m choosing to change my eating habits permanently, with weight loss being a desired side effect. If I want chocolate, I’m going to eat chocolate. I just won’t eat an entire box worth, and I’ll do a mental check to make sure I really want the chocolate (instead of really being bored, or unhappy, or some other non-craving feeling). Cravings are OK, but eating out of boredom is a bad habit I plan to break.

My greatest problem will be portion control, and I’ll be repeating my mantra often: You don’t have to eat it all today…it will still be there tomorrow. There’s no chance of bakeries everywhere running out of cake permanently in the next 24 hours. It’s unlikely that Little Debbie will go under by the end of the week. I will have the chance to eat it again.

So that’s the big plan. Less of the bad stuff, more of the good stuff, and permission to screw up now and then. As I get used to eating more of the good stuff, it should get easier to stick to the plan. I’ve already started the plan, and in one week I’ve lost two pounds. I have no specific weight I want to get to, but two pounds is a great start.

Lots more to come, of course. For those who are playing along, how are you going to change your eating habits?

(PS – Thank you to those who are cheering me on, and those who want to join in. The extra motivation from your support is awesome!)

Filed Under: BlogHer08 Tagged With: Hot by Blogher

Feb 12, 2008

The No Good, Very Bad Day

February 12, 2008 By Christina

So far today:

– I walked outside yesterday to get the mail and discovered a flat tire on the SUV. The tires are only two months old. Took the car in this morning, meaning I’m without a car for the day. I hope the leak can be plugged, because I really don’t want to buy another new tire.

– While getting Mira out of her crib for her overnight bottle, I notice my nightshirt is suddenly warm and wet. Then notice she’s wet. Then check and find the entire crib wet. Change the leaky diaper, her sleeper, the sheets, and my shirt before putting her back to bed. (No, she didn’t get a bath before I put her back to bed. Call me a bad mother all you want – at least I’m a bad mother who got a little bit of sleep.)

– Wake up again to find Aaron standing beside the bed telling me to go downstairs and watch Cordy because he can’t stand to be near her at the moment. Find out that she knocked his computer off the couch (while he was trying to get her to stop jumping on the couch), and now it won’t start up again.

– Aaron calls tech support, who walks him through dismantling half of the laptop to diagnose the problem. With every non-essential piece spread out across the table, we find out it still won’t work. The motherboard is possibly fried, and the in-home support tech may not be here until tomorrow.

– Cordy didn’t have school yesterday because of a teacher training day. Today?

Snow day. (You’d swear we lived in the south – this warrants a day off?) So no school again, and she’s starting to go manic. And I’m starting to consider if cocktails at noon is such a bad thing.

– Mira is also cutting one of her top teeth. She’s Cranky McCranker-Pants today. And she’s stepped up her attempts to eat all the paper, hair and carpet fuzz she can find.

– Just a few minutes ago, Cordy went up to her room to play, and I heard a *thunk*…*thunk* coming from her room. Walked in to find her in the glider, rocking it hard enough to slam it into the wall, forming a lovely dent in the wall. At least I caught her before it progressed to a full hole in the wall.

Can I get a break, please? Surely all of this is building up some good karma for something, right?

PS – It’s only 10:45 am.

Filed Under: Cordy, daily life, Mira, rant, snow

Feb 8, 2008

Haiku Friday: A Hair-Do

February 8, 2008 By Christina

Cordy’s new breakthrough:
Her hair is OK to touch
Without a meltdown

Rubber bands and bows –
Ringlets cascading downward
She looks so girly

Cordy’s sensory issue with her hair has been a problem for over a year. Those gorgeous curls are always begging for attention, yet any attempt to touch them is met with screams and wails. This is especially a problem for distant family and strangers, who seem to be drawn to those Shirley Temple ringlets with a burning desire to pull one of those little golden springs.

Every time we wash her hair is a battle. While she likes to splash and play in the bath, she despises water on her head. And combing out her curls takes an entire episode of Bunnytown, since we have to distract her with TV to even have a chance at getting a comb near her. Sure, she has pretty hair, however, you wouldn’t want to be the one to care for it.

But this week we were greeted with a surprise when she came home from school on Monday. The hair on either side of her face was pulled up and secured with a ponytail holder. She now asks for bows in her hair, too. Who is this child? Where did she come from, and why is she asking me for bows?

Her teacher told me she’s been slowly working with Cordy to reduce the sensitivity, and as a result she will let us pull her hair up. Amazing.

To play along for Haiku Friday, follow these steps:

1. Write your own haiku on your blog. You can do one or many, all following a theme or just random. What’s a haiku, you ask? Click here.

3. Pick up a Haiku Friday button to display on the post or in your sidebar by clicking the button above.

Filed Under: Autism, Cordy, Haiku Fridays

Feb 7, 2008

A Turning Point

February 7, 2008 By Christina

Quick quiz: How many months pregnant was I in this picture?

4 months? 5 months? 6 months?

Nope, all wrong. The answer is: I’m 8 months postpartum.

(Did I just lose subscribers over that? I think I heard someone click that unsubscribe button. It’s OK, I understand. I’ll spare you from the belly shot without clothing. The stretch marks alone would scare the rest of you away.)

Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before making a change. And right now? This is me, hitting hard on the cold stone floor. And damn it hurts.

I know I said I wasn’t making any New Year’s Resolutions, and I’m not. But it’s time to admit that I’m really not happy with myself. I don’t like being overweight, I don’t like all of the extra curves on top of my curves, and I’m really sick of being asked, “So when are you due?”

I don’t always look like the picture above. I’m amazingly adept at sucking in my stomach and holding it all. day. long. But eventually I have to breathe, or I forget for a moment, and suddenly I look pregnant again. Even Spanx can’t hide it all.

Beyond the physical, my mental health is also suffering. I had depression when pregnant with Cordy, and I worried about developing PPD after Mira was born. I think I was too busy trying to deal with two kids early on to let myself feel down. Now I can feel the darkness quietly creeping in again, and I think it’s partially motivated by my unhappiness with my physical appearance.

So it’s time for a change, and that change can begin by asking myself: what do I really want? I want to be healthy, in body, mind and spirit. I want to eat better, get more exercise, and lose weight. I want to feel good about my body instead of ashamed of it.

And to be completely honest?

I want to be hot by BlogHer ’08.

OK, it’s a little shallow, I’ll admit. But I’ve been to the BlogHer conference twice now, and both times I felt like the “big girl” hanging out with all of the pretty girls. There’s a lot of gorgeous women in the blogging world.

This past year, I had an 8 week old excuse:

Mira’s first BlogHer, sleeping through the party

But the year before, there was no excuse:

BlogHer ’06: The year of the pasties

I wasn’t always this big. In fact, just five years ago I felt pretty good about how I looked. Amazing how having two kids and letting yourself go a little can wreck your appearance.

Our honeymoon: Florida, 2003

BlogHer ’08 is my goal date. I want to be hot by BlogHer ’08. And by “hot” I don’t necessarily mean skinny. Skinny isn’t going to happen – my body isn’t built that way. Instead, I’m setting realistic goals:

– I want to be at a healthier weight. I have no set number I must reach – that will only depress me. Instead, I’d like to see myself in a smaller clothing size (no particular size, just smaller), and not look like my uterus is currently under lease for another few months.

– I want to eat more natural foods, and less fat and fried foods. Mira has officially weaned as of this week, so cutting back on calories isn’t a bad thing. I can’t eat like a breastfeeding woman anymore. More fruits, veggies, and water, and more emphasis on portion control. I’m not giving up the foods I love, but I will remind myself that there is no threat to the world’s chocolate supply, so I don’t need to eat it like it’ll all disappear tomorrow.

– I want to enjoy exercise again. There was a time I actually liked exercising (or liked it as much as a sane person can really like exercise). I was happy to see the changes it caused and marveled at what my body could do. But I need to find a form of exercise I like enough to do more than once.

– I want to be satisfied with what I see in the mirror. This is quite an undertaking, because it will involve mental as well as physical change. I need to start working with my body instead of against it, thinking of it only as a shell I wish I didn’t have to lug around with me.

– I want to be happier with my life, giving off waves of self-confidence and satisfaction. While times are tough for us in some ways, I have a lot of good things happening right now. It’s time to focus on what makes me happy and not on the things I’m unhappy about but can’t change.

Yes, I know there are far better reasons to want to be healthier: living longer, setting a good example for my daughters, and a lowered risk of heart disease, diabetes, and cancer. I want all of those, too, but it’s hard to get motivated by those long-term reasons.

But – hot by BlogHer? (I love that phrase. I swear I’m going to make a button for that.) That’s a goal in the near future I can work towards.

I’m ready. I’m motivated. I’m determined.

Can I do it?

I think I can.

(Anyone want to join me?)

Coming up soon: Specific plans, a full round of starting pictures, my past history with my weight, and detailing how I’m going to keep myself accountable by blogging.

UPDATE! We now have a button, thanks to the design mastery of Mother Bumper! Feel free to add it to your blog (but link back here so people know what you’re talking about, m’kay?).