Yet Another Guide For Newbies Attending BlogHer12

Note: I wrote this post originally for BlogHer ’08, but didn’t see the sense in re-typing all of it again, since much of the advice holds true. Enjoy this recycled post with a few edits to make it more relevant to this year.
——–

Can you feel the tension and anxiety building in the blog world? Thousands of (mostly) female bloggers are less than a month away from traveling to New York City for BlogHer 12. The tweets about what do I wear? and will anyone talk to me? are already in full swing as some newcomers start to panic and wonder if they’ll be mocked if they don’t have an iPad with them or don’t say the right things.

Relax. Seriously…relax.

This will be my SEVENTH (!!!) BlogHer conference, so I’ll claim the right to call myself a bit of an expert on this topic. I’m ready to see old friends, meet new friends, and party until I drop. However, I was a member of the nervous newbie club once, too, so I know how some of you are feeling. Confession: I still get a little nervous each year. So allow yet one more person to give you a little advice on surviving your first BlogHer:

Hit the parties: There are a lot of parties planned this year. More parties than one person can possibly attend without being a Doctor Who companion, and most are open to anyone attending BlogHer. Go to the parties, especially the Thursday night parties! This is your first chance to mingle and socialize in a low-stress environment.

Even if you have a hard time making the first move to introduce yourself to another person, I promise that someone will ask you who you are and will want to get to know you.

Next thing you know, you’re surrounded by your blog gang. (BlogHer ’11)

Prepare for short attention spans: At the same time, expect most people at these parties to behave as if they have some kind of attention-deficit disorder. (Some of us actually do…ahem.) It’s only natural – for those who have been to BlogHer before, they’ll be bumping into lots of people they haven’t seen since last year. And others will suddenly turn and see one of their blog friends standing right in front of them for the first time.

So don’t be surprised if you’re talking with a group and someone disappears or squeals and runs away. It’s not you – she was probably overcome with happiness to see another friend. It’ll happen all night, and as one person disappears, others will appear to join in on the conversation. It may even be you doing the ADD-wander-off.

It’s easy to get distracted with all of this going on. (BlogHer ’11)

Expect happy surprises: Don’t be surprised if others come running to you, too. At my first BlogHer, I felt so lost when I was checking into the hotel. There were women everywhere – many were clustered in groups, and I was far too shy to approach one of these groups to find out if they were bloggers I knew. I remember walking past everyone, dragging my suitcase behind me, anxious and feeling like I wanted to hide in my room for the next three days, when I heard, “Is that Christina? Hey, woman!” It was Izzy, and she was the first shout out of many I got that night. I was also invited to dinner with Mayberry Mom that night, too, which further helped to calm my nerves.

Getting hug-tackled in a photo booth is pretty cool, too. (BlogHer ’10)

Hand out your card: If you don’t suffer from debilitating shyness, be sure to introduce yourself to as many people as possible. Have business cards if you can. They don’t have to be anything fancy: name, blog name, URL, Twitter name, and e-mail address are plenty. You might think you don’t matter enough to have a business card, but you’re wrong. That card will help people remember you, and will help them find your blog after we all leave New York. Without cards, I never would have remembered the blog names of everyone I met at BlogHer, many of whom I now read regularly.

 Unless you’re Bob Harper. I don’t need a card to remember him. (BlogHer ’11)

Be unstructured: Once the conference begins, you’ll meet even more people at the sessions you attend. These sessions are wonderful, with lots of information for beginners as well as advanced bloggers. But you may occasionally find you need a break, or find a period of time that doesn’t have any sessions you want to attend. That’s totally OK. There’s no rule that you must attend every session – hanging out in the hallways chatting with others is often just as valuable or more valuable than the sessions themselves.

 
Poolside was a great hangout – just don’t get the laptops too close to the water. (BlogHer ’06)

Expect to be photographed: There are cameras everywhere. You’re probably bringing one, too. Remember that everything said or done at BlogHer is on the record, so be prepared to end up on Flickr or Instagram. This especially goes for those who like to drink, but can’t hold their liquor. (However, if you do want drunken antics to show up on the internet, drink away!)

 Best seat at the CheeseburgHer party (BlogHer ’09)

Branch out: You’re going to find bloggers in your niche, but you’ll also encounter bloggers on nearly any topic. Take some time to get to know women outside of your niche, too. Surely you have interests beyond being a mom, right? Mom bloggers are lovely, but there are some awesome DIY bloggers, too. And pet bloggers. And fashion bloggers. And food bloggers. And shopping bloggers. If you can’t find someone who blogs about one of your secondary interests, maybe you need to start a new blog, eh?

 Still waiting on that new foodie dessert blog, Cookie Monster. (BlogHer ’11)

Step out of your comfort zone: There will be a moment when you’re encouraged to do something a little… silly. Zany. Wacky. It could be in the Expo hall, it could be at a party, it could be in the elevator. Yes, this is a professional conference, but this is also a chance to have a good time. Trust me – take the chance and do at least one silly thing. You might come to appreciate a new talent for yourself. Or you may just laugh at the memories created.

 Why yes, that is a stylish McDonald’s bag on my head! It’s all the fashion! (BlogHer ’10)

Remember to rest! This one is important. You’re going to be staying up late and getting up early each day. Some of you will be drinking a lot, too. Pace yourself, or you’ll collapse before it’s all over. 

…or if you find yourself in a dance-off. (BlogHer ’10)

So what I’m trying to say is don’t stress out about coming to BlogHer, because you’re going to have a good time. It’s a crazy, chaotic few days, where you’ll meet new friends, rub elbows with blog “stars” and maybe even find that someone admires you, too.

Just a few of the women I admire. (BlogHer ’11 – photo by Rita Arens)

Dress in a way that makes you feel comfortable, and don’t worry so much about your hair and makeup. After all, it can’t be as bad as my hair disaster from ’06.

And if you need someone to give you that initial boost of confidence and support, come find me. I may be a little socially awkward and I really do have ADD, but I love meeting new people and I’m always available for a hug. At my first BlogHer several friends held my hand and made me feel comfortable, and I’m happy to return the favor for others.

You may not find all of this advice useful, but it’s what I’ve learned from the past six BlogHer conferences I’ve attended. Hope to see you all there this year!

 No, really, embrace the McDonald’s bag hat. Trust me on this one. (BlogHer ’08)

Edited to add: You may notice there are no photos from BlogHer ’07 in this post. I was there, but most of the photos looked liked this:
 Babies welcome. (BlogHer ’07)


And A Pinkie Pie On Every Tree

One of the things I love about blogging and social media is the ability to have a direct line to the people who can help you out.

For example, Cordy and Mira love My Little Pony.

Wait…I don’t think that’s quite strong enough.

What I meant to say was: Cordy and Mira LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! My Little Pony. They can’t get enough of the new show on the Hub network, and our house is now filled with ponies and accessories. It’s nearly the only TV they watch.

Each year we let the girls pick a new ornament to add to the Christmas tree. It’s fun to see how their interests change each year by looking back at the ornaments they choose. So of course when it came time to select this year’s ornament (and knowing that this is the year of My Little Pony for both kids), I did a little internet searching and discovered that American Greetings made a 2011 My Little Pony Pinkie Pie Christmas ornament.

Perfect!

One problem, though. The ornament was sold out everywhere. It seems My Little Pony has an enormous adult fan following, and once word got out about the ornaments, they were quickly bought up. Sold out online. Sold out in our local stores, too.

I looked at resellers to buy one, but I refused to get into a bidding war on eBay and spend $30+ on a $7.99 ornament. I didn’t want to reward someone for buying up all the ornaments to turn a profit with the collector crowd.

So I did what any desperate blogger might think to do – I reached out via Twitter, asking American Greetings for their help in tracking down an ornament. I explained that my two daughters are fans of the show and really wanted this ornament for our Christmas tree this year.

I was hoping they might be able to tell me if there was somewhere online to buy one, or if they planned to send out another shipment soon. I was happy to pay for one, I just needed an actual ornament to buy. They quickly responded that they would look into it for me.

I waited for days and didn’t hear anything further. I wasn’t sure how much they could help – if it’s sold out, it’s sold out, right? So I was completely unprepared for them to go above and beyond and respond with this:

And then yesterday, a perfect Pinkie Pie ornament showed up in the mail. Two little girls cheered with joy and Cordy declared the @amgreetings Twitter maven “the nicest person in the world!”

The dreary, rainy day yesterday suddenly got A LOT brighter for these two.

So now Pinkie Pie has joined the cast of animated characters on our tree. As befitting her importance at this moment, she’s front and center:

with Batman climbing up for a visit on the lower right

Have I mentioned social media is awesome? Thank you, American Greetings, for helping this mom get the perfect 2011 ornament for my daughters!

(And just because this is the new era of full disclosure: yes, American Greetings did send it to us for free, unexpectedly. There was no agreed on review or anything like that – I just wanted to share my joy at a company doing something really, really nice for my family.)



Happy Blogiversary To Me

I completely missed my blog’s anniversary yesterday. Whoops. Yesterday marked six years since I decided LiveJournal was so 2004 and abandoned it in favor of my own independent blog.

What do I get myself for a blog anniversary? Wikipedia says the sixth anniversary gifts are iron, sugar or wood, depending on which chart you use. I’m holding out for my seventh anniversary: wool. In November, a nice wool sweater or socks would be lovely.

Instead, this year I gave myself a little bit of nostalgia. I read back through some of my old blog posts and laughed at how much I forgot. Thank goodness I wrote it all down – there are so many incredible stories of my daughters that I never would have remembered without my little corner of the Internet.

Oh, how I miss those curls on Cordy…

Six years ago I had one cranky toddler, worked part-time at a university, and weighed about 50 pounds more than I do now. In some ways I was happier – I had more free time, mostly – but in other ways I see how much we were struggling with the adjustment to being parents and the financial strains we were under.

So much was different then. Mira wasn’t even a thought yet. Autism was just something I connected with the movie Rain Man. I had yet to start nursing school. Aaron still had long hair. And I still felt like a rookie mom, both overconfident and unsure of everything, all at the same time.

As I read through my archives, I see how much motherhood has changed me in six years. I’m fighting harder than ever for a better life for my kids. Tolerance for others, the environment, healthier foods, equality, health care, civil rights…it all matters more to me now. Being a special needs mom has also changed my outlook on so many things: that grumpy, strong-willed toddler from the start of this blog is now a charming, beautiful, autistic girl who depends on me to fight for her to get the services she needs to help her cope with this world, as well as understanding from others who may first try to dismiss her due to her autism.

But on this Thanksgiving eve, I’m especially thankful that I started this blog. Coping with all of the changes we’ve gone through would not have been as easy without this space to write it all out, and the friends I’ve made through this blog who have been my support when I felt like giving up on everything. The community of moms I’ve met through blogging has been fantastic – along with my close “real-life” friends, many of my blog friends and commenters have been my shoulders to lean on, my place to turn for advice, and (I hope) I’ve been able to be the same for them as well.

If you have some time, browse the archives. There are some fantastic and funny posts hidden in there. And some adorable photos of Cordy and Mira, too.

So for all of you still reading, thank you. I’m thankful for having this space to share my life with all of you, and for the friendship and community you’ve shared with me.



The Pioneer Woman, Ice Cream, and a Sick Kid All In One Weekend

Some weekends are short, and then some fly by so quickly that you barely had time to process everything that happened before you found yourself sitting at your desk at work again.

This weekend was one of the second.

It wasn’t a wholly bad weekend. And it wasn’t a wholly awesome weekend. But somehow it was a combo of both, with no hint of mediocre anywhere to be found.

First, the bad:

Friday started off with a beautiful afternoon and the promise of spending a few hours with my husband before the kids got home from school. That plan vanished when the school called to report Mira had thrown up and we needed to come get her.

Let the Vomit-fest 2011 commence!

Mira was fine the remainder of the day. Ate dinner, was mostly herself, went to bed with no problems. Then at 2:30am I heard her crying and found she had vomited in bed. Stripped & remade the bed, changed her, calmed her down and put her back to bed. 3:30am – lather, rinse, repeat. And then 5:00am, when I was out of sheets for her bed, Aaron took her downstairs to sleep on the couch while I started the laundry and then got a little more sleep.

It’s now Monday, and Mira just got off that couch. Other than going to the bathroom, she didn’t leave that couch for 48 hours. Poor kid seemed better on Saturday morning, but then by mid-day made it clear that even small sips of water couldn’t be kept down. Saturday was nothing more than fitful periods of sleep and vomiting. And like a bad, bad mother, I missed most of it, because I had a full day already planned. (In my defense, Aaron insisted I keep my plans for the day and he’d take care of Mira.)

Sunday morning was difficult, because I had to weigh our options of what to do for Mira. Take her to an urgent care, where they might insist on IVs, blood tests and meds that would leave us in major debt thanks to no health insurance, or keep her at home and take the risk that she might not get better on her own? Money is no factor if she genuinely needs help, but I’ve been through my share of stomach bugs to know that many times you just have to wait them out. And, well, I’m a nurse – I know what the danger signs of dehydration are and when we can’t wait any longer.

So we waited. I stroked her hair as she slept with her head in my lap, and I waited for her to guide me towards which direction I should take. And by Sunday afternoon she was keeping down small sips of Pedialyte and behaving more like herself. By Sunday evening she was asking for food, although we kept to the Pedialyte regimen. And then she slept through the night with no more vomiting. Whew.

Two things. One: I never want to repeat that again. Two: why do kids always seem to get really sick on the weekend, when the doctor isn’t in her office?

And then the awesome:

Momo had tweeted me earlier in the week that Ree Drummond, The Pioneer Woman, was coming to town for her book signing, and she was organizing plans for dinner afterward. We know a lot of the same people, but I’ve never had the privilege of talking with Ree, so I was thrilled to be invited along.

I was also secretly terrified that she’d hate me, because she’s all…uh…domestic, and I’m, well, not. I burn water, people.

But the truth is, Ree is funny, smart, and so very easy to talk with. Not once did I feel uncomfortable around her. (OK, maybe a little jealous of her tremendous flexibility – she can get her leg behind her head!) She blended right in with the local gang as we talked, laughed and drank wine late into the night.

Oh yeah, we’d had some wine by this point…

We all had a fantastic dinner at Northstar Cafe (omg, try their veggie burger!), followed by dessert next door at Columbus’s own Jeni’s Splendid Ice Creams, with a personal tour by Jeni herself.

Ree is in awe of the ice cream goodness. I’m in the back about to pass out from so many yummy choices.

Side note: I am completely in love with Jeni’s ice cream, and was crazy proud that we could introduce Ree to our hometown best. Not only is it delicious, it’s all-natural, with many ingredients locally-sourced (including milk and cream from Snowville Creamery), and every flavor is safe for Cordy to eat. She’s not just limited to vanilla at Jeni’s, even if she prefers vanilla.

Columbus locals, if you haven’t had Jeni’s yet, you are hereby ordered to report to your nearest Jeni’s location and eat ice cream. Meyer Lemon Yogurt is my favorite, but if you hurry you might get to try Ylang Ylang Honeycomb before the season passes.

Dinner and ice cream and hanging out with some amazing women made it one of the best nights I’ve had in a long time. It all went by too quickly, and I already miss those conversations and all of that laughter. I’m glad to have met Ree, and thankful to her for giving us all a reason to gather and share an awesome evening together.

Love.


Blissdom Bloggy Love

I’m still coming down from my Blissdom high as I settle back into real life. The one thing that really frustrates me about going to blog conferences is that I always miss the people when I come back home. I’ve made some great friends through blogging, as well as met so many interesting people, and coming back home only reminds me that I live so far away from most of them and can’t have those inspiring conversations every week.

(I still love all of my local friends, too. Don’t want you to think that you have to live 100+ miles away for me to love you.)

So today I just want to share with all of you some of the people who made Blissdom extra special for me. If you don’t already know some of these women, be sure to click through and visit them.

Heather at Domestic Extraordinaire – Heather is one of my best blog friends, and I’m always happy for the chance to spend time with her. Considering we’ve endured 2 road trips to Blissdom and the nightmare Amtrak experience from BlogHer together and still like each other, I’d say that’s true friendship. Anytime I see her at a conference, I know I don’t need to put up any pretenses – I can just be myself around her.

Cecily at Uppercase Woman – Cecily is someone I had the privilege of getting to know better at Blog World in Las Vegas back in October. I admire her strength and her unwavering determination to be exactly who she wants to be and create her own happiness no matter the circumstance. And at Blissdom I especially admired her mad make-up skills (that she provided for me when I begged): she can create a “smokey eye” better than anyone I know. She’s beautiful inside and out.

Lisa at Condo Blues – Lisa was my Blissdom roomie, as well as someone I’ve been friends with since before the invention of blogging. (You know, back when it was called keeping a journal.) She also served as my flight partner and put up with my snoring without complaint. When I needed reassurance before stepping out the door of our hotel room, she was there to provide it.

Lia at Mama’s Starting Over – The greatest and most pleasant shock at Blissdom came when Lia sent me a Facebook message telling me she was on her way to Nashville. It was awesome to hug an old blog friend and spend some time catching up. Our lives have taken some dramatic turns in the past few years, and I was so happy to see her doing well.

Casey at Moosh in Indy – She makes me laugh, she makes me wish I could be as cool as her, and she let me touch her pregnant belly. No one makes pregnant look as good as her. She also shared her drugs with me, for which I’m eternally grateful.

Mishi at Secret Agent Mama – I trust this lovely woman enough to let her into my hotel room so that she could take pictures of me wearing next to nothing. She always has a smile, and she makes everyone feel welcome.

Carmen at Mom to the Screaming Masses – Simply one of the most beautiful women I know, and my fitness role model. I have no idea how she does it all, but I’m glad that she carved out enough time to come to Blissdom!

Lisa at St. Louis Family Life – Another old blog friend (not that she’s old – just that she’s a blogging old-timer like me!) that I wasn’t expecting to see. I’m so glad she patiently waited for me to finish talking with a Jockey representative (had to get my free workout gear, right?) and made sure to say hi. It felt great to talk with her again, and she introduced me to other St. Louis bloggers I can’t wait to get to know better.

Elizabeth at BusyMom – This woman is funny. And I mean ALWAYS funny. OK, maybe we had some serious conversations about the nursing profession, but no one else heard them so I have no proof that a serious conversation with her existed. But I’m thankful for those moments I did get to talk with her, whether serious or not.

Diane at Momo Fali – Yes, she’s a local, and yet we seem to only see each other when we travel hundreds of miles to conferences. (We need to work on that.) Not only can we compare stories of living in Columbus, but if you’re scared of flying, there’s no one better to fly scared with. Our flight home was all the better at each of us sucking in air in unison when the plane hit a bump of air.

Anissa at FreeAnissa – If ever I start to feel a dark mood coming on, or find myself feeling like the uncool kid at the party, I just need to find Anissa. She’ll give me a smile, a hug, and crack an inappropriate boob joke and suddenly everything is better.

OK, I’m running out of steam, but there are so many others I’d love to mention, too: Aimee who made room for me at lunch one day, Hannah who bought me one too many drinks and can dance ’til dawn, Emily who gave me one of her much-coveted Diet Cokes, and the list goes on and on and on.

Not only am I enough, but so are each of these brilliant women. You’re all perfect.