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Aug 9, 2012

That One Time I Walked In A Fashion Show At BlogHer ’12

August 9, 2012 By

You may have seen the reports that while I was at BlogHer ’12, I was in a fashion show.

I know, I know. Stop laughing – I’m serious!

When I was first contacted about participating in the first ever BlogHer fashion show, I almost wondered if I was being punked. Except the email was from Elisa and I know she’d never do that to me. She had noticed me discussing BlogHer fashion on Twitter – of course, I was discussing why my jeans are perfectly acceptable conference wear, since that’s how I dress in real life. My jeans are practically my brand!

I’ll admit I went through a lot of emotions on the subject. First, I was completely flattered to be asked – what an honor that my name was considered to be in such a big event! I’m not a big name blogger by any means, and fashion is not a topic I generally write about.

Another emotion was giddy. Never before in my life have I considered being in a fashion show. Ever. While some little girls dreamed of being a model, I dreamed of being an astronaut. And as I got older – and heavier – it simply wasn’t on my radar. When you’re presented with quite possibly a once-in-a-lifetime experience like this, it’s easy to quickly add it to your bucket list.

But then the fear set in. Me. On stage. Dressed up. And walking. Being on stage I can handle, even being on stage and dressed up. But add in walking or talking and I suddenly fear making a fool of myself in front of a crowd. I have lost a lot of weight, and I’m ready to celebrate that, but I’m not model perfect.

Would people make fun of me? The big girl on stage wobbling in her heels? When I was younger I was the fat, ugly girl, a message I internalized after so many others had declared it to be true.

I didn’t want fear to win this time, so I quickly accepted before I could talk myself out of it. But even in the days leading up to it, that nagging voice of low self-esteem kept filling my head with doubt. Even at the fitting it was hard to accept a compliment from anyone. And being unable to fit in the first dress I tried on just provided ammo for that little voice that I would fail. I anxiously awaited Saturday night.

Then the magic happened.

I was still feeling like an ugly ducking as I sat down for makeup just hours before the show. I joked with the Elizabeth Arden team that my usual makeup regimen was face wash and a moisturizer with sunscreen. For special occasions I’d switch to a tinted moisturizer. Rebecca Restrepo, a woman who deserves the title of world-famous makeup artist, took her time and provided tips on how to use makeup to highlight my own natural beauty. She took my own makeup habits into account and created a look that was natural and simply luminous. I glowed.

No really, I love this woman. She works magic.

Next, the Paul Mitchell team took control of my hair. My stylist asked what I’d like, and I showed her a photo of my outfit and gave her free reign to do what she thought best. The finished result was stunning.

We had to wait to get dressed, and I remember going into the bathroom and just staring at myself in the mirror.

bathroom instagram

I was beautiful. But my hair wasn’t drastically different. And my makeup wasn’t that heavy either – hell, she used a tinted moisturizer as a foundation! So with the changes being so minor, why did I feel and look like a different person?

It wasn’t until my dresser had helped me into my outfit (jeans! imagine that!) and I turned around and found myself face-to-face with a different me in the mirror that suddenly it all made sense.

All of this fuss to make me look beautiful for the runway also made me feel beautiful on the inside, and what was reflected in that mirror wasn’t just makeup, hair and clothing, but also an inner beauty and self-confidence that had been hidden for most of my life. A simple trick of prettying the facade had convinced my self-esteem that I really was beautiful now, but logic also kicked in to say look closer – it’s still the same you. You just never noticed.

We were then lined up and prepped backstage for our big moment. The nerves were still there, but they were partially mixed with excitement. I had made a last minute decision to keep my phone with me, and even though we hadn’t rehearsed it, I was going to photograph the crowd at the end of the runway. This was a blogger fashion show, right? Well, that’s what this blogger would be doing in this circumstance!

The walk was a blur. I remember taking a deep breath right before I climbed the stairs to the stage. I remember the cheering and hearing my name, although I couldn’t see out into the crowd because of the lights. I remember letting those cheers fuel my walk as I strutted to the center of the stage.

Photo credit: Mark Von Holden Photography

I remember lifting my sunglasses and giving my best surprised act – omg! look at all of you out there! how ya been? – at the end of the runway. I remember my sunglasses falling low on my nose as I tried to take a photo of the crowd (it didn’t turn out – too bright) and fumbling with my phone as I tried to get it in my coat pocket.

Showing the crowd some photo love. (photo credit: Melisa Wells)

I remember walking back towards the main stage and seeing friends in the front row, yelling and cheering me on, and then as I neared backstage seeing Kelly standing in her row of chairs and whooping as loud as she could. And as I stepped backstage, I remember thinking wait – it’s over? No! I want to go back out!

Now I had all of the confidence in the world. I was unstoppable. I sat backstage while others took their turn on the runway and couldn’t stop smiling.

And after? I felt like a new person. It was amazing. I felt beautiful. Powerful. Worthy. I happily jumped into photos with friends at the CheeseburgHer party. I even photobombed a few folks, too.

Sorry, The Next Martha, I couldn’t resist.

I didn’t want to go to bed that night, mostly because I didn’t want to wash off the makeup. I took self-portraits in my hotel room bathroom before pulling out the face wash, sad to remove this pretty face. But you know what? I still woke up beautiful. (Well, aside from the bedhead and lines on my face from the pillowcase.) Taking off the makeup didn’t remove what I had discovered the night before.

Thank you, BlogHer, Kathryn, Darlene, Sheila, 6pm.com, Elizabeth Arden, Paul Mitchell, Petsmart, all of the other fantastic blogger models, and everyone involved with the fashion show, for giving me the experience of a lifetime, and helping me find my inner beauty.

You helped this 36 year old mom, who has never in her life considered herself worth a second look, much less a fashion show walk, blossom into the swan I always wished I could be. It was there the whole time, but I couldn’t see it until now. Real beauty is feeling comfortable in your own skin, accepting who you are, and loving yourself.

(And a special thank you to two lovely women I had never met before who approached me at CheeseburgHer to tell me how fantastic I was in the fashion show. You have no idea how much your kind words meant to me!)

PS: The full video of the fashion show can be found at BlogHer.com. Elizabeth Arden has a great set of photos from the event, too.

Filed Under: big issues, BlogHer12, love, me me me, shameless bragging, shameless promotion


Aug 7, 2012

What Happened At Home While I Was In NYC

August 7, 2012 By

While I was on a plane to New York last Wednesday, this happened:

severed cable/internet line

That’s the buried cable line for our house, no longer buried and no longer intact. The idiot apartment builders behind us (Ardent Communities, for those who would like to know), having no respect for us or our property, trespassed onto our land and ripped up the top layer of the back property line, about four feet beyond our property line. The grass was torn out, and they cut the cable line, leaving Aaron with no ability to work from home that day.

Why did they do it? They told me yesterday that they had to clear space to put up the fence that should have been in place months ago. This is of course the complete opposite of what they told me several weeks ago, when they promised that nothing on our property would be affected by putting up the fence. They also told me that the cable line was cut because it wasn’t buried, which is a lie – I watched the cable company bury the line years ago. And you can still see where it disappeared into the ground before it got ripped up by their machinery.

They didn’t ask if we could clear our land. They didn’t ask permission to come onto our land. And they didn’t give any notice of doing it. It was trespassing and willful destruction.

Yesterday they tried to say that I was wrong about where the property line was and that really most of what they took out was their land. Um, this stake below? It’s labeled Property Line, and they were the ones who placed it there. I see a hell of a lot of dirt and missing greenery on the left side of that stake, also known as OUR LAND.

(We won’t even get into the health issues I’m suffering resulting from their unwillingness to follow the rezoning guidelines. If I’m forced into another sinus surgery because of the dust, I’ll be providing their address as the responsible party for billing.)

I finally reached my limit yesterday when I watched a Bobcat pick up a few pallets of wood from a spot about 10 feet from my property line to then drive them onto my land and dump them there. A gift of wood? I considered going outside to thank them for the peace offering and asking them to help me carry my new wood planks into our garage, but decided that sarcasm would likely be lost on these guys.

Is it our 5th anniversary already, Ardent/Village Communities? Aww, you shouldn’t have.
(Property line stake, you ask? Hidden behind & to the left of the guy in the photo.)

So instead I took photos and then emailed the City of Columbus contacts I’ve corresponded with before (two city council aides and a person in zoning) asking them for guidance on who to contact to report the damage to our property, the failure of the company to meet yet another deadline that has long passed, and to have the wood removed.

I’d also like to take the time to call out the City of Columbus as a collection of cowards. I continue writing to them for assistance in this matter, considering that’s part of what we pay our taxes for. And instead of responding to me, like I asked them to do, they forward my emails on to the apartment developer, like they did yesterday.

Stay classy, Columbus government – nice to see you’re doing your part to look out for and help your citizens. Or is it your political contributors? I’m fuzzy on the details. If I had more money to donate for election campaigns would I at least get an email response? I’ve got $10 – could that even get me an automated response?

And so Ardent Communities continues to “apologize” for screwing up over and over, when it’s obvious they are doing it on purpose. For a company that claims to have been in real estate for so many years, either Ardent Communities is utterly incompetent at what they do (making me wonder how they’ve been doing this for so long) or they’re simply evil bastards who are too used to getting their own way and will trample, ignore and try to destroy anything in their way to get what they want, with no respect for others. I’m betting it’s the second option.

Too bad (for them) that they had to build next to me.

I can’t stand seeing companies (with some unwise opinions about race) break the rules at the expense of everyday people just because they have more money and power. This is about waaaaaay more than a strip of land and a fence. This is about homeowners’ comfort, safety and health in their own homes being disregarded for the wants of the privileged.

Had I not complained as much as I already have, there would still be a 30ft deep pit on the edge of our property with nothing to prevent children from falling into it. There would be no partial fence on the other edge of the property line already. And they wouldn’t have even started this side of the fence.

Had I not complained and rallied the neighborhoods before the rezoning, they would have crammed even more apartment buildings into the space, with no attempts at providing any privacy screening or rules preventing convicted sex offenders from renting those apartments. We were unable to prevent the rezoning, but I was leading the community to get a few demands from the neighborhoods into that rezoning. (Which the company is still partially ignoring. Hence my continuing to shout loudly.)

The company is acting like a spoiled child who has never been told no. They drag their feet at what they’re required to do and do it poorly in the hopes of making us sorry we even demanded it in the first place. Fortunately, I have two children who have tried these tactics and been shut down before it got out of hand. Someone needs to tell these guys no as well. They need a time out and they need their toys taken away.

I don’t look kindly on entitled asshole businessmen who are so shady they renamed their company after earning a bad reputation and had an F rating with the Better Business Bureau. (The new company name has a C- so far.) They have a track record for trying to screw the average person, and that’s not right.

It’s on like Donkey Kong.

Filed Under: rant Tagged With:


Aug 6, 2012

Hey, I Just Met You, And This Is Crazy…

August 6, 2012 By

…but here’s my blog, so read it maybe?

If you’re new here, it’s possible you just met me at BlogHer ’12 or BBSummit’12. And you might have typed my url into your browser to find out a little more about the person you had a (hopefully positive!) encounter with. So why not cover some of the basics today, shall we?

So…A Mommy Story, eh? Not exactly the most original blog name.

Well, yes. I do know that. But way back in ancient times (you know, 2005), when blogging was just becoming a “thing,” blog names were FAR easier to obtain thanks to little competition. You could get all the good domains then. Now you have to do crazy stuff like get a .net or misspell something or add an extra word in to get the domain you want. It’s led to some creative names, I’ll admit.

So where did the name come from? Well, when I was still a brand new mom, I remember watching all of those “stories” on TLC – A Wedding Story, A Baby Story, etc. and so the name was born.

OK, I’ve looked around here a little. You really want to stick with A Mommy Story? Doesn’t seem to really fit you.

Not really. I’ve outgrown – or rather my kids have nearly outgrown – the name and it doesn’t quite cover all of the topics I blog about. Not that any blog name could sum up all the random around here, unless it was Christina’s Random Blog or something like that. Which, in today’s world, is probably already taken as a domain name. I may change it someday, but it’s hard to give up all of that Google page rank and other mumbo jumbo that I’m told is Very Important in the world of social media and influence.

You really seemed to know a lot of people at the conference – did I just meet a high-profile blogger?

Nope, sorry to disappoint, but thanks for the compliment! I do know a lot of people, though. I’ve been blogging since 2005 and have attended every BlogHer from 2006 until now. That’s several years to meet people, both online and at conferences. And so I’m now lucky enough to walk through any hall at BlogHer and have a very high chance of seeing someone I know, even if I can’t remember their name. (I’m awful at remembering names. And faces if you’ve changed anything since we last met, or if you look nothing like your Twitter/Facebook photo.)

But while I know a lot of bloggers, including some “high-profile” ones, I’m not one myself. I guess you could say I have influence but don’t let that influence fool you into thinking someone’s offering me a book deal or I make a living at this kind of thing.

Wow, you’ve been blogging since 2005? You’re like a grandmother of blogging!

Um, well, at least you didn’t call me ancient. True story, BlogHer ’09, by the elevators. Which is also where I was called a grandmother of blogging (but they had never heard of me). Yes, this blog has been around since 2005, and before that I had a LiveJournal blog for a few years. It was the perfect outlet to find other parents to commiserate with early on, and since then I’ve developed several awesome friendships with people all over the world. And? It’s fun. This hobby isn’t just a fad for me.

Besides, does this face look old enough to be a grandma?

 Over Times Square

Wait – if you’ve been around that long, how come I’ve never heard of you? You must not be very good at this.

It’s a fair criticism. Unlike some of the famous bloggers, I’m not all that funny, I rarely make people cry, and I’m no good at exaggerating for effect. And my posting could be more frequent. I’ve never been a professional blogger – I’ve kept this blog updated while working a day job.

Early on it was a part-time job, then I was in school getting another degree, and then I spent the last three years working hard full-time jobs on third shift. (Working overnights.) That hell has now passed, though, and I’m happily comfortable with a work-from-home job that doesn’t require me to stay up all night.

Also, I’m not all that good at business. Oh sure, I have some fantastic ideas in my head, but it’s hard for me to nail down a business plan and see it through. I’ve tried, but then I get bored and something shiny comes along and distracts me and then I’m chasing my next big idea.

So the blog continues as it is. I take opportunities when they present themselves, but don’t actively chase down opportunities. I promote issues and brands that I feel strongly about. And I don’t promote myself as much as I probably should. You could call me coy, I suppose. Which is better than calling me lazy.

Speaking of distracted, you seemed, uh, mighty distracted at BlogHer. Just being honest, sorry.

No, no, it’s fine. I really do have ADD, and you must have caught me at one of my overwhelmed moments. BlogHer is like the ultimate collection of shiny objects, and sometimes it’s hard for me to keep my focus. Don’t take it personally, please. I’m a very good listener and love meeting new people – just because my eyes are wandering doesn’t mean I’m not still engaged. Hopefully you snapped me back to attention so you had my full focus.

And if I said I’d come back and didn’t, well…I screwed that up. I’m sorry, and I promise it wasn’t because I didn’t want to come back. (Looking at you, Annette. Luckily we kept running into each other!)

While we’re on the topic, and please don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re a little odd. Odd in a fun way, but odd.

Yup. It’s taken me 36 years to accept this. You could say I’m geeky, or lacking in social graces. My older daughter has autism, so it seems to run in the family. I can put on a good show of being social, but it eventually gets to me and I start to break down.

If you saw me in the Kohler bathtub at BlogHer, it was because I was overwhelmed and discovered the VibrAcoustic tub music provided the perfect sensory block for me. Or maybe you saw me squeal in delight at receiving a copy of Goodnight Pond from Leila and wondered why a book about some doctor in a sci-fi TV show (Doctor Who) would elicit such a response.

So I can embrace the odd label. And let’s be honest, most bloggers are at least a little odd, right?

You seemed to have a knack for directions.

That’s my superpower. If you were one of the folks finding yourself lost at the conference or in NYC, I hope my directions helped you. If I’ve been somewhere once, I can usually remember it all and find my way back again. Or orient myself to know which direction we’re going. It’s like having a GPS built into your head. Even I get lost sometimes, but I find it fun and once I find my way I never get lost there again.

You can really knock back a drink, too.

Why yes, yes I can. Except tequila – that stuff is evil.

Hope that gives you a little more information about me beyond the often short connections made in person at the conference. If there’s anything else you want to know, aside from my bank account number (which you’d be disappointed in, anyway) drop me an email or leave a comment.

Filed Under: BlogHer12, me me me


Jul 31, 2012

GOOOOOOOOOOAAAALLL!

July 31, 2012 By

(Just say the title in your best Spanish soccer announcer voice for maximum effect.)

So you know how I’ve said from the very beginning that I’d just like to see 158 lbs, which is the very top of the “healthy” weight range for the BMI charts? And that number has always seemed SO far away?

Well, sometimes it’s just better to let the photo tell the story:

OK, so technically I’m 0.6 lbs from my goal, but that’s still in the 158 lb range so I’m willing to count it.

158. One hundred fifty-eight. I can’t believe I finally get to say this, but I made it!

And just in time, too. BlogHer is this week, the conference that helped me jump start my weight loss efforts many years ago through my “Hot by BlogHer” motivation. And this year I’ll be strutting my stuff on the runway during the BlogHer Fashion Show.

I practiced walking in wedges & a dress at the BBSummit last week.

It’s taken so much work to get here. Lots of counting calories and exercise. Actively making the choice to eat better foods and pack as much nutrition into each bite. Even more rewiring of my brain to not seek out foods to pair with every strong emotion.

Most recently, Slim-Fast has been helping me get these last 15 pounds off, and it’s been a huge help. This year has probably been my busiest year on record, leaving me with little time to plan meals or even eat at home. The shakes have been a life saver for these busy mornings – I drink one shake in the morning and I then have the energy to keep going until lunch.

The snack bars have been great, too. I keep snack bars in my purse so if I’m out of the house and suddenly feel the urge to snack, I can have a 100 calorie Chocolate Nougat Gone Nuts bar instead of a 200+ calorie candy bar. Same taste without going overboard on calories.

Seeing 158 has left me with a big question, though: what next? Wow…I don’t know! Being focused on reaching this goal for so long has me feeling conflicted about my next steps. I’m thrilled to be here, and if I had to stay at this weight forever I think I could even accept it. But I’ll admit it’s still not the body I was expecting. Oh, let’s be honest, I’m never going to have that body after two kids.

Maybe at this point my focus will turn to getting stronger and replacing some of the fat on me with muscle. If that results in a little more weight loss, awesome. If not, I’ll measure progress in how well my clothing fits and how I feel. Feeling healthy and strong is far better than a smaller jeans size. I wouldn’t mind giving myself a five pound cushion for the inevitable fluctuations that happen, but I’m not going to hate myself if it doesn’t happen.

For this week, however, I’m celebrating my accomplishment and having a blast at BlogHer. Next week, I can think more about my next steps and decide the next goal I set for myself.

(Oh…and…WOOOOHOOOOO!)

Disclosure: This post was created in connection with my appointment as an Ambassador in the Slim-Fast® Summer Slim-Down Challenge. Visit www.facebook.com/slimfast to join the conversation.

Filed Under: photographic evidence, success, weigh-in Tagged With: ,


Jul 30, 2012

The Land of Non Sequitur

July 30, 2012 By

The morning drive to take the girls to summer camp can be monotonous at times, but it’s never quiet. The running family joke is that after spending so much money on speech therapy to get Miranda to talk as a toddler, we now wish there was therapy to keep her quiet. 

The comedian who never stops talking.

It’s not that I’m some mean parent who doesn’t want to hear what’s on her child’s mind. I enjoy conversations I have with both girls. The problem is that whenever there is any silence, Mira feels compelled to fill it with the sound of her own voice. And on morning drives, as we’re fighting traffic and things are going slowly, her mind goes into overdrive throwing out random thoughts at a pace that makes even my ADD-mind dizzy.

A typical day in the car:

“Mommy?” (You know it’s going to be something random when she starts with this and keeps repeating it until I respond.)

“Yes, Mira?”

“When can we go camping?”

“I don’t know, Mira. But maybe we can try camping in our backyard first.”

“But we shouldn’t camp in the STREET, ’cause that’d be dangerous!” (laugh at her own joke)

“You’re right, that would not be safe, sweetie.”

Pause.

“Mommy?”

“Yes, Mira?”

“I think I want a pink car when I grow up. A BRIGHT pink car!”

“Pink? That’s fine, you can have whatever you want as long as you have a good job to afford it.”

“Oh, I will, mommy. I’m gonna deliver flowers to people. Or maybe be an animal doctor.”

“Hmmm. I’d vote for veterinarian. Better chance at affording that pink car.”

“Mommy?” (no pause this time, but clearly signaling a change in topic)

“What, Mira?”

“Cordy started losing her baby teeth at five, but I’m five and haven’t lost any yet.”

“She did, but everyone loses baby teeth at different times. You’ll lose yours when your adult teeth are ready.” (I begin discussing the way teeth grow, but get cut off)

“Oh! You know what, Mommy?”

Sigh. “What, Mira?”

“That tree over there has green leaves, but the one next to it has flowers and leaves!”

“You’re right, because they’re different types of trees.”

“And mommy? Mommy?”

“Yes, sweetie?”

“I think Cosmo likes his rope toy. He REALLY chews it.”

“Mira, what does that have to do with ANYTHING you’ve just said?”

(thinks for a moment) “I don’t know. He just really loves to chew his rope toy!”

“And mommy? What would happen if there was no gravity?…”

And it just keeps going and going.

It’s funny, but exhausting. Asking for a little silence gives me only a moment of quiet, while she builds up new topics in her head that will explode out a minute later.

I’m thinking the CIA should investigate this technique for getting captured spies to talk. Enduring this kind of random would make anyone crack.

Filed Under: daily life, Mira