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Oct 28, 2011

The Accidental Crafty Mom

October 28, 2011 By

I’m generally in awe of all of you crafty moms out there.

You know who you are. The ones who prefer handmade to store bought, who can do anything with some craft sticks, googly eyes, pipe cleaners and a touch of glue. You have 1,000 different creative uses for old coffee cans and glass baby food jars and your supply closet rivals Martha Stewart.

I may be jealous, but I don’t hate you in any way. No, the truth is I wish I could be you. But I lack that ability to think up clever, creative crafts. More importantly, I lack the time and patience to do what you do.

So I repin your fantastic ideas and findings on Pinterest, dreaming of sitting at the table with my daughters as we paint chalkboard paint on lids of mason jars or sneaking into their rooms while they sleep to spread glitter and decorations as I pretend a fairy paid them a visit, fully knowing I won’t act on a single idea I’ve repinned.

And then occasionally I do something crafty without even meaning to. Case in point:

I just recently bought a pair of clogs for myself and for Cordy for the winter months. They’re suede and so I wanted to waterproof them before wearing them in this painfully wet weather we’ve had recently.

A few days ago, when it was dry, I set the shoes on our sidewalk and sprayed them with a waterproofing spray. After they were dry I brought them back in. No big deal, right? Just something I had to do to protect the shoes before I wore them.

The next (rainy) day, Cordy and Mira peered out the front door and shrieked, “We have ghosts, mommy!” Puzzled, I looked outside.

Had I been smarter with this, I would have staggered the shoes to look like they were walking towards the house. But I never thought I was actually creating something cool for the kids – I was just waterproofing my shoes.

So, to recap for any of you creative types that want one more spooky decorating tip for Halloween:

Waterproofing spray on and around shoes = ghost tracks on the sidewalk.

There you go, folks, my accidental craft tip of the day.

Suddenly I feel so accomplished.

Filed Under: being a mom, daily life, domestic zero


Oct 27, 2011

Cordy’s Thank You Note

October 27, 2011 By

It’s been a busy week at work. We’ve been temporarily understaffed, and as a result I feel like my days have been spent either sleeping or working.

But!

Remember when I begged you all for votes for the Columbus Parent Magazine cover contest? It all paid off! Thanks to your votes, Cordy made it into the top five finalists out of nearly 400 entries!

As promised, here’s your thank you note:

Now we have to wait to see if Cordy is selected as the winner. A panel made up of magazine editors and professional photographers will choose the winner by this Friday. (Tomorrow!)

I have no idea what goes into making a decision like that – how do you look at five kids and decide which one will be the cuter kid on the cover just by seeing one photo and no other information? I can’t imagine it would be easy – even Miss America has a question and answer portion to the competition. There’s no chance to find out what each child is like, what story they all have to go with those smiling faces…just a photo.

Cross your fingers and hope they can see Cordy’s story in her blue eyes. And if she wins…well, she’ll have to work on an even bigger thank you note.

Cordy plans to use this photo for all holiday and birthday gifts going forward as well. She’s a time saver like me. Or lazy. Like me. 
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Edited to add: Cordy didn’t win the big prize of being on the magazine cover, but her photo will be featured in the December 2011 issue.
Filed Under: Cordy Tagged With: ,


Oct 21, 2011

The Annual IEP Review

October 21, 2011 By

Last week was the annual review of Cordy’s IEP, an event I both look forward to and have extreme anxiety about each year. Since Cordy spends nearly her entire day in a mainstream classroom, I looked forward to speaking with her teachers about how she was doing and find solutions to deal with any issues they were having.

The meeting involved the usual suspects gathered around the table: her special needs teacher, her mainstream teacher, the physical therapist, the principal, and Aaron and I. We began with a review of last year’s IEP and the progress she’s made.

Good stuff:

Based on testing and observation, Cordy no longer qualifies for physical therapy. She was only deficient in one area – running speed and agility – and it was made clear that it wasn’t her running speed keeping her score down. (The kid is FAST.)

Cordy also no longer needs occupational therapy. Her handwriting is still sloppy, but is considered no worse than the average first grader. Or her mother. Maybe she’ll be a doctor?

Academically, she’s at or above her grade level in all areas. She’s already been moved to second grade reading after demonstrating (over and over) her proficiency in reading to her mainstream teacher. It’s possible she’ll be moved to second grade math as well. They’re impressed that not only is she reading at a second grade level, her reading comprehension is strong, too.

Not so good:

The real issue with writing is Cordy’s resistance to doing it at all. She has a hard time translating her thoughts onto paper and often gives up before even trying. We’re going to try teaching her typing as well as handwriting to see if that helps overcome some of her anxiety. When you’re a perfectionist like Cordy, being able to backspace and delete mistakes might make all the difference to her.

At this point, her primary support needs are with social/emotional issues. She still reacts strongly when transitioning from one activity to another – especially if her current activity involves the computer. She’ll whine and throw a fit and the other kids look at her funny when she overreacts like this. Same goes for a change in schedule – indoor recess due to rain can sour the whole day for her.

She also doesn’t handle correction well. When she’s told she did something wrong, she usually has a verbal outburst (often along the lines of “You should just kill me then!” or “I’m just going to throw this away!”), occasionally hides under a desk and refuses to come out, or sometimes runs out of the classroom. Thankfully, when she does run out of the class, she is running to her special needs teacher’s class – the last thing I want to deal with is hearing she ran away from school.

The social issues do bother me. I know she gets overwhelmed and frustrated easily and she takes any slight correction as as condemnation of her entire existence. Her classmates probably think she’s a weirdo as a result. But I still think it’s beneficial for her to be in the mainstream classroom.

I agree with the concept of accepting kids with autism for who they are, but no matter how perfect I wish the world to be, I know Cordy will likely face years of bullying and teasing. It will be important for her to compromise and learn what’s expected in a classroom, scripting her behavior if necessary to “fit in” as much as possible so that she’s less of a disruption, and less of a target.

At the moment she has an aide in the classroom with her most of the day, helping to provide redirection when these moments of frustration pop up. And the teacher reassured us that it isn’t all that frequent – other kids are far greater behavior problems than Cordy is. They also report that, even though she doesn’t have any school friends she tells us about, she does play with other kids at recess.

The team had a lot of praise for Cordy, including how sweet she is most of the time, and in turn we asked them to not be soft on her because of that charm. Sounds mean, I know, but if you try to baby-step her through anything she pushes back and resists. She knows that if you’re trying to gradually introduce something, it must be hard and so she doesn’t want to try it. If you shove her into the deep end, though, she flails for a moment, but then usually rises to the challenge as long as you stay consistent.

When asked what our long term goals for Cordy were, I explained that we wanted her to be seen as a child and student first, and autistic last. It’s a part of who she is, but I don’t want it to dominate how her teachers treat her. I want to eventually wean her off of any assistance, although only when it’s clear that she won’t suffer as a result. I want her to be successful in school, whether she’s gifted or not, and always be challenged to go further.

It was interesting to hear Cordy’s special needs teacher talk about Cordy’s talents. She told us how much Cordy reminds her of another kid – a boy labeled as “twice exceptional” for being autistic and academically gifted – and she added that he was now in high school and on track to graduate. She said she could see Cordy going the same route – maybe even going to college?

I understood her meaning behind the story, and know she was trying to be encouraging, but at the same time I was frustrated. Probably graduate? Maybe go to college? Oh, no, no, this kid will graduate and will go to college! I’ve set high goals for her because she’s already shown every determination to do better than what’s expected.

At three years old we were told she may never be mainstreamed. She would always have behavior issues and may need medication to control her. One expert told us to prepare for the possibility that she may never be capable of living alone or caring for herself. The same people who saw her then are stunned to see the young girl she is now, charming, polite and full of energy to discover the world around her. They never expected her to become the bright student she is today. But I always knew she could do it.

Cordy’s IEP is set for another year now. There’s still plenty to work on, but yet again she’s managed to cross several items off of her IEP to-master list. And the new skills for this year are challenging, but as long as her team is supporting her and cheering her on, she’ll succeed.

I feel like a helicopter parent sometimes, and I’m sure her teachers are regretting that they gave me their email addresses, but Aaron and I are her primary advocates. My job is to make sure she’s getting the education she needs, and I take that job pretty seriously. I see the potential in her, and I have to make sure others see it, too.

With the right guidance, there’s nothing she can’t excel in.

Except maybe penmanship.

(But hey, we all have our limitations. Just be glad I’m typing this and not writing it by hand.)

Filed Under: Autism, Cordy, school


Oct 14, 2011

After These Messages

October 14, 2011 By

When it comes to family TV time, we usually limit our selections to Nick Jr (Noggin), Disney Junior, Netflix or DVDs. My thinking was that if I’m going to let my kids watch TV, I’d prefer to limit them to TV free of commercials while they were very young.

I never expected them to shun all marketing and I knew that the licensed characters they saw on TV shows would still lead them to want toys with those characters on it. But if it limited their consumerism even a little, I figured it was worth it.

But then we discovered My Little Pony on the Hub network. And now I’m doomed.

Hub has at least two commercial breaks during every show. We try to Tivo episodes and then watch them with the girls, fast forwarding through commercial breaks. Then there are those times when I let the girls watch TV so I can get something else done, and I’m not always there to hit that fast forward button. Meaning they get to see every “Act now for this incredible offer!” promotion.

So, what do my two impressionable young daughters think of commercials?

Mira now chants, “Take me to Party City!” thanks to their Halloween commercial. Children in the commercial repeat that same statement over and over, and she’s now convinced that she needs to go there for her Halloween costume.

Cordy told me she’d make fewer messes with her snacks if I’d buy her a gyro bowl. Never mind the fact that she never makes a mess when eating a snack.

Mira is begging me for an insulated lunch bag that will keep her lunch cold for up to 8 hours. When I remind her that none of her lunch needs to be kept cold, she gets upset and points out that, “Dat mom bwogger on TV wecommended it!” I guess in her mind, all mom bloggers must stick together and use the same products.

Mira also insists that the chocolate milk shown in one commercial would be “healthy” for her. I tried to explain that just because they say it’s “healthier” because it’s a good source of vitamin D and calcium and is free of high fructose corn syrup doesn’t change the fact that it’s still filled with sugar. And that all milk has calcium and vitamin D.

Mira even asked if we could please buy one of those aluminum storage building. You know, because we need a carport or hobby building next to our garage or something. And they’re sooooo shiny.

I won’t even begin to discuss all of the pillow pets, make-your-own stuffed animals, play-doh ice cream factory and other toys they now insist they can’t live without.

Marketing works, folks.

After recovering from the horror of watching my kids mindlessly ask for junk they don’t need just because the TV told them they wanted it, I decided that this was a prime chance to teach them about persuasion and marketing.

I still fast forward through most commercials, but occasionally we watch them together and discuss what the people who made the ad were trying to do. Did they want us to do something or buy something? Why do they say we need it? Do we really need it? Do we already have a similar item that works well for us?

It’s also started a discussion about money, both how we get money and what we do with it. Cordy and Mira still have trouble understanding that we have a finite amount of money to spend, and there are some things we have to spend our money on first (bills) before we can then consider items that aren’t as necessary. Progress is slow in this area, but I think if we keep talking about it with them it’ll sink in.

I won’t rant about the “evils” of marketing. I know that businesses need to sell their products, and it’s up to their marketing departments to find a way to make the product appealing so that people will want to part with their money. Hell, I have an entire review blog devoted to trying out products of interest, using my real-life experience with an item to help provide an honest testimonial for the product. I sell ad space on my blog. I get it.

But just because I believe there is a place in the world for marketing doesn’t mean I plan to let my children be blind followers of consumerism. If they’re going to see commercials (and as they get older they’ll be exposed to more and more everywhere they go), I want them to think about more than what’s being presented on the surface and consider the truth behind what’s being said. Is that chocolate milk really healthier? Healthier than what? It certainly can’t be as healthy as plain white milk, right?

I think this will be a lesson that continues for some time. I’m glad they didn’t see as much advertising when they were younger, but now is a good time to start explaining how it works. They’re as receptive to the message we’re giving them as they are to the commercials – here’s hoping we can be a little more persuasive than the marketing professionals at least most of the time.

(I can’t say all the time, because let’s face it – marketing works on me, too!)

Full disclosure: Just in case it needs to be said, I do not endorse any of the products listed above, and specifically will NOT be taking Mira to Party City for her costume, but instead plan to visit a locally owned costume shop.

Filed Under: Cordy, daily life, Mira, money, pop culture Tagged With:


Oct 10, 2011

Trying Something New For Two Weeks

October 10, 2011 By

I now understand everyone who says that the last ten pounds are the hardest to lose. Guess what? I’m still at 167, and the last ten pounds show no sign of giving up. It’s time to try something different.

I’ve used a variety of methods to help me lose the weight, with most being some combination of eat less and move more. But if I stay in a certain eating or fitness pattern for too long, my body adapts and I have to do something different to shake things up. I’ve seen many a plateau, and know that each one forces to me to adapt and alter my routine. Sometimes it means trying a new mix of higher protein, or higher complex carb, or more weights or more cardio, or just different foods than I usually eat.

I recently was asked if I wanted to try the new, improved Slim-Fast shakes, and I decided to give them a try. Slim-Fast has worked to improve the flavor to make their shakes the best tasting ever, and they’re now moving away from the cans in favor of re-closable plastic bottles.

Many years ago, I tried Slim-Fast shakes as one of my weight loss methods. If you’re one of the few people who have never heard of Slim-Fast, they’re a line of vitamin-fortified milkshakes (and now nutritional bars, too) that help provide calorie control to aid in losing weight. The plan is to have a shake or bar for 2 meals a day, along with two healthy snacks and a nutritious dinner. (AKA, the 3-2-1 plan.)

The first time I tried Slim-Fast, it did work. But back then (we’re taking over 10 years ago), the shakes were only so-so for flavor, and you had to drink them out of a metal can, which gave them a metallic taste. I never used the Slim-Fast shakes for long back then (even though they did result in weight loss) because I would eventually long for something with more flavor.

Now, I’m well aware of the criticisms of this product, too. It distracts from eating whole foods, it has you drinking your calories and could leave you feeling less full, and it’s calorie plan isn’t for all sizes. I get it, and I’m aware of how to adapt it. I don’t consider this product the magic weight-loss pill – I still have to put in the work, but it’s one tool that can help when I have trouble with eating on the run or eating at work.

I don’t always have time for a meal of whole foods – sometimes I have to eat in the car, and a shake is far better for me compared to a fast food value meal. If the shake has enough protein in it, I often don’t need to worry about getting hungry too soon, either. As for the calorie issue – I’m well aware of how many calories is recommended for weight loss for my body, and adjust the plan accordingly to make sure I’m meeting my minimum required.

Since I’ve been stuck at yet another plateau, I’m using Slim-Fast for two weeks to see if it can provide me the jump start I need. I’m using one or two shakes or bars a day and then having portion controlled servings of food for the other meals and snacks.

If you’re interested in reading my initial review of the product and entering to win some free Slim-Fast for yourself, please visit my review blog, Mommy’s Must Haves!

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Full disclosure: I was provided with Slim-Fast products and coupons to facilitate my review. All opinions expressed here are my own and do not necessarily represent the views of Slim-Fast or anyone else.

Also, I’m a nurse, so listen closely: do not begin any weight loss program without first consulting your health care provider. Remember that weight loss is highly individual and what works for one person may not work for another. There’s no magic pill for losing weight – you still have to put in the effort. Products such as Slim-Fast are designed to aid you in your efforts through portion and calorie control, but they do not replace the effort itself.

Filed Under: reviews Tagged With: