Christina, Author at A Mommy Story

Oct 6, 2011

Moments in Time

October 6, 2011 By Christina

I generally have mixed feelings about school picture day. We usually have to order the photos in advance, before the photographer even snaps the picture, leaving me wondering if my expensive gamble will result in a kid with one eye half closed or a frown on her face or if I might luck out with a good shot of her. Committing to two 8×10’s, 4 5×7’s, 2 3×5’s and 2 sheets of wallets without seeing the photo first is hard to stomach.

No matter her look, the backgrounds are dull, the “enhancements” are usually worse and every kid has the same head and shoulders pose that has been used since my grandmother was in school.

But.

School photos also serve as an annual snapshot of where my kids are at the moment. You can see so much personality in their eyes, see how much they’ve developed and changed from the year before, and get an idea of what’s going on in those little heads.

Cordy’s first school photo was when she was three and had just started special needs preschool. She had just received an educational diagnosis of autism, and I think the photo says it all.

All of the struggle against her senses, the confusion, and the uncertainty with the world around her was captured in that photo.

And then there’s her first grade photo.

I could write eloquent (or not so eloquent) sentences about the transformation she’s made, but words would only be repetitive. The two photos speak volumes about what has changed without any added explanation from me.

Right now, I’m incredibly grateful to have these school photos to remind me of where she is in this moment.

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Pssst…have you voted for Cordy in the Columbus Parent cover contest? I’ve been watching the competition, and there are some other kids getting a LOT of votes at the moment. Do they really have families that big?

C’mon, we can do better than that, right? If you haven’t done it yet, please leave a vote for Cordy!

Filed Under: Cordy, growing up, memories, school

Oct 3, 2011

I Usually Don’t Ask For Much…

October 3, 2011 By Christina

I try not to ask a lot of everyone who comes by this blog. I’m happy to share stories and photos and have discussions about deep topics like special needs education and which eighties cartoon to have my daughters watch next.

But today I’m asking for a small favor. Columbus Parent magazine is having a cover photo contest, and the winning child will get to be the cover model for one of the monthly issues. I normally try to avoid anything that involves voting – popularity contests just bring back nightmares of coming in last as a child, and I often feel that those with the most resources generate the most wins. (Although I actually have a pretty stellar resource with this blog and the Internet.)

However, I decided to enter this contest for a few reasons. First, I’ve got a couple of good-looking kids who would both make excellent cover models.

More importantly, this would be an excellent chance to feature a child with autism on the cover of Columbus Parent. Cordy is not only beautiful, but she’s smart and charming and has an incredible story. At three years old we didn’t know what the future would hold for her when the autism label was applied. Would she be able to go to college? Would she even be able to attend a regular classroom?

Everyone who visits here regularly has followed along through her transformation. Today, at seven years old, she spends 90% of her day in a mainstream classroom and about 90% of the time she’s a cheery ball of sunshine as well. She’s reading well beyond her first grade level and has just started working on double-digit addition and subtraction. The school wants to test her for the gifted education program. The latest report from her teachers is that she now runs with packs of other kids on the playground at recess instead of playing by herself, and possibly even has a friend or two.

Cordy’s a success story, and she is a positive example of a child with autism living well beyond her label. She has her difficulties and still struggles with a lot of social issues, but she’s thriving in her environment.

Photo courtesy of Heather Durdil

So…this all leads up to the favor I’m asking of you. Will you please vote for Cordy in the Columbus Parent contest? You don’t have to be a Columbus resident to vote. All you have to do is leave a comment under her photo with the word VOTE in it somewhere. Or just the word “vote” would do, too, if you’re in a rush.

You do have to register for the site to vote. (I’m sorry – I wish they didn’t have that restriction. Check your spam folder if you do register, as the confirmation email seems to go there for many people.)

The voting round is open until October 17, 2011 at noon ET. I can already tell there are some kids in this contest with large families, so we’ll need all the help we can get! The top 5 kids with the highest votes will go on to the finalist round where the magazine will select the winner.

What’s in it for you, you ask? I don’t really know what to offer in return. The privilege of knowing you helped the Amazon warrior princess get the cover of a magazine? A hand written thank you note from her? (Warning: her thank you notes are very short.) A promise from me to post more often?

Anyway, if you have a moment, please leave a vote for Cordy! And share it with your friends, too!

(And now I swear I won’t ask any more from you for at least another few months.)

Filed Under: Autism, Cordy, shameless promotion Tagged With: ain't too proud to beg

Sep 30, 2011

Retro Pop Media Exposure

September 30, 2011 By Christina

One of the best things about being a mom is getting to expose my children to all of the pop culture I grew up with when I was a kid. Sure, the TV programs of today are certainly more educational – with the exception of the always educational Sesame Street – but the nostalgic side of me still fondly remembers the cartoons and movies of my youth.

And thanks to Netflix having nothing decent from the past five years available in its instant streaming collection, I’ve been having regular flashbacks to the days of neon clothing and non-computerized animation. Some things haven’t changed: Jim Henson Studios is just as awesome as it was back then. But I’m realizing that some of my memory may have been clouded now that I’m watching all of these cartoons and movies with an adult’s judgment. Yet some of them are just as fantastic now as they were in the eighties.

What have I been forcing…umm…encouraging my daughters to watch recently? Glad you asked!

He-Man and She-Ra – The animation is very heavy on stock footage, and you can tell each voice actor has at least 6 characters on his or her credits, but the storylines still hold up today. The moral of the story at the end of each episode (just in case you didn’t pick up on that episode’s theme) is still cute, too.

But I especially love the girl-power message in She-Ra, and will gladly let Cordy and Mira watch this whenever they want.

Fraggle Rock – I never really watched Fraggle Rock much as a kid. I liked the original Muppet Show and Sesame Street, but for some reason I wasn’t that interested in Fraggle Rock. Now that my kids watch it, though, I wish I would have seen more of it when I was younger. The green-screen effects are ancient, but muppets are timeless.

Scooby Doo – This one I take no credit for. They’ve both seen Scooby Doo at school, and then asked to watch it at home. I didn’t like Scooby Doo much as a kid, and I still don’t care for it now. I like the idea of solving mysteries and proving that most scary things are explainable, but the humor just isn’t for me. If they ask to watch Scooby Doo, I use that time to catch up on email or clean. In another room.

Labyrinth – I loved this movie as a child for the fantasy storyline and the beautiful scenery. As an adult, I can’t stop staring at David Bowie’s package on display in those tights throughout the entire movie, which I guess means I’m still enjoying the beautiful scenery. Still a great story, still a fun adventure, and muppets are still timeless.

Jem – (Damn, I shouldn’t have put this right after Labyrinth – Jem & the Goblin King apparently have the same hairdresser.) I loved Jem as a kid. Had the dolls (with the cassettes that came with each of them), knew all the songs, and watched every episode. Watching it now, I wonder how brainwashed I must have been to like this show. Truly outrageous? More like truly baaaaaaad. The animation is awful, most of it features stereotypes of shallow, catty behavior in women, and how did I forget there was so much kissing in this show? Of course, I forgot all of this until AFTER I showed an episode to my kids. Now they love it and want to see more. Oops.

My Little Pony – OK, so my daughters aren’t watching the original My Little Pony that I watched in the eighties. There’s a new series on the Hub network now, and all of the reviews I’ve read say that it’s much better than the original. I have vague, fuzzy memories of being enamored with the original, so I’ll just have to take their word for it. The new series is fun, the ponies have a lot of attitude, and the new animation style is slick.

The Neverending Story – Admit it: you cried when Atreyu’s horse sunk in the swamp. I did every single time I saw this movie. And Cordy proved yet again to be a younger version of me – while watching it for the first time, all she could think about for the remainder of the movie was, “What happened to his horse? Will the horse be OK?” Forget the Nothing swallowing up all of Fantasia, or the creepy-yet-pretty Southern Oracle with the laser eyes, or the Empress dying…it’s all about Atreyu’s horse. Cordy wasn’t able to get a close enough look at the horse at the end of the movie to tell if it was the same horse, and even today she’s still worried about that horse sinking in the swamp. We may wait another year before attempting this movie again.

Care Bears – Care Bears can burn in a smiley rainbow fire if I had anything to say about it. Maybe a little harsh, but I find them annoying now. I think I liked them as a very young child, but I can’t remember. If I did, I’d like to take this chance to apologize to my mother for being forced to endure the Care Bear Stare.

Voltron – This was one of my favorites as a kid. (The Voltron with the lions, not the one with the cars.) I still like it, although both Cordy and Mira are unimpressed. Heathens. I’m sure I’ll be able to convince them of the stellar quality of this cartoon someday.

Beakman’s World – This was actually from the nineties, but it was amazing. Beakman was the more guerrilla-style, gross-em-out and keep-em-coming-back-for-more science teacher to Bill Nye’s more straight-laced version. But it worked, and it made science really cool.

Cordy has watched every episode of this now and can tell you how antibodies work and where rain goes when it dries up, as well as several other impressive science facts. The more she watches, the more science she absorbs, and I’m happy to contribute to that addiction.

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So that’s what we’ve been watching lately, and I’m sure it’s just the beginning. After all, there’s still Thundercats. And Gargoyles. And The Dark Crystal. Then all of Star Wars, then all of Harry Potter, then…

What about you? Are there any movies or TV shows from your youth that you’ve exposed or can’t wait to inflict on your kids?

Filed Under: being a mom, memories, pop culture Tagged With: TV

Sep 21, 2011

Seven

September 21, 2011 By Christina

Seven years ago, on this day, I was introduced to my beautiful daughter, Cordelia, and to motherhood.

OK, she was a little grumpy, too…

She was determined to destroy any pre-planned ideas of how I wanted motherhood to go. I wanted to have a natural labor – she remained in a difficult breech position that required a c-section. I planned to breastfeed – she refused to cooperate and fought me to the bitter end. I dreamed of quiet moments gazing into her little blue eyes or napping together in the afternoons. Instead I was given a colicky baby who cried day and night and forced us to bow to her whims of being in constant motion.

And yet she still charmed me and forced me to fall madly in love with her.

When she was a year old, I thought the worst was behind us. The unhappy baby had been replaced by a smiling, giggly, curious toddler with enormous sapphire blue eyes and the beginnings of golden curls.

And a talent for stacking Diet Coke cans…

Never did I imagine the struggle we’d endure together two years later through a diagnosis of autism and the uncertainty of what the future would hold for our Amazon Warrior Princess.

Which brings us to today. Seven years old.

When did she grow up & why didn’t I notice?

Cordy is now in first grade and for the first time she’s spending 95% of her school day in a mainstream class. Her teacher tells us she’s adjusting beautifully and is held to the same behavior standards as the rest of the class. She complains that her spelling list each week is too easy and has already befriended the school librarian. We can’t keep her away from books – she has books in her bed, in her backpack, and even at the dining room table.

It’s been a year of big “firsts” for Cordy, too. First attempt at sports. First roller coaster. First real haircut (that wasn’t done by me when she wasn’t paying attention). She even let me paint her fingernails for the first time last week!

Conquering her fears of the unknown at Cedar Point

I don’t think any of the experts that evaluated Cordy at three years old would have imagined that she’d be doing so well now. She has friends, she plays with other kids on the playground at school, and while she is still rigid, demanding, and quirky, she’s learning that she can often get what she wants if she plays along with the social scripts society demands of her, no matter how silly they seem to her.

But seven years old is also scary to me. She’s reaching an age where I can no longer protect her all the time. Kids are going to be mean. The social demands of her peer group will get exponentially harder and social missteps will be judged with more severity. Cordy also wants more freedom, but I’m afraid she’s not ready for that freedom and will only put herself in the path of danger. She’s too trusting and too unaware of her own surroundings to stay safe.

Those same traits that scare me are also some of the best parts of her. Cordy’s innocence and sweetness are unending. She still has that ability to charm everyone just as she did as a baby.

And just like when she was that not-so-tiny eight-pound infant, screaming in my arms, she’s still proving that I have little control over the direction motherhood will take me. I’ll continue to love and protect her the best I can, while she will continue to grow and amaze me in ways I never thought possible.

Happy birthday, Cordy. And thank you for letting us sing happy birthday to you this year, even if you still covered your ears.

Filed Under: Cordy, growing up, love

Sep 20, 2011

Greener Pastures and the Green-Eyed Monster

September 20, 2011 By Christina

Most days I’m happy to get Mira to preschool as fast as possible, allowing someone else to handle that atomic bundle of four-year-old energy so that I can get some sleep after a long night of work.

But occasionally, when walking the halls of her preschool, I feel a little jealous.

Jealous of the bright-eyed moms talking to each other in the hallway while they sip their coffee, making lunch plans for themselves and their children after class.

Jealous of the moms with the ponytails and workout clothing, taking advantage of their free time to get in a workout and maybe run some errands afterward, but not before relaxing in the sauna first.

Jealous of the moms who stick around to volunteer in the classroom, helping all of the kids with their smocks for finger painting and bringing in a homemade snack for the class.

Mira’s preschool has a large percentage of parents who are, shall we say…affluent. For many, the moms are stay at home moms, or if they do work, it’s only part-time. (I can only assume the dads do some type of Very Important Work that pays well.) These moms have free time that I can only dream of at the moment.

Seeing the other moms breezing through the hallway, not a wrinkle of stress showing, is a stark contrast to me, plodding down the hall half-asleep as Mira pulls me along, stress and exhaustion written all over my face, realizing I forgot (again) to bring in the family photo her teacher has been requesting for weeks.

I stare longingly down the corridor that connects the school to the gym, wishing I had the time and energy to fit in a workout, or that I was awake enough to chat with the other moms and maybe make new friends. Instead, all I can think about is going home to sleep for a few hours before I repeat the cycle of dinner, work, preschool dropoff and sleep again.

But I know jealousy is a tricky little beast. There’s more to the story than what it chooses for me to see. The moms who make life look like a summer vacation could be hiding any number of problems under their Lululemon workout gear and perfectly highlighted hair. There are other working moms leaving their kids behind, too, looking less haggard than me only because they’re just beginning their day instead of ending it. It’s possible they’re looking at the room moms as wistfully as I am, wishing they could be the hero of the pre-K class with homemade oatmeal raisin cookies and storytime instead of giving their child a quick kiss and rushing out the door.

I also realize that my work is what helps provide the needs and many wants for my children. It enables us to have a comfortable house and plenty of food, along with Netflix and toys and more trips out for ice cream than we should probably allow. In this age of recession and the vanishing middle class, we have a lot to be thankful for that many only wish they could have. Some may be jealous of me for being lucky enough to have a job, angry that I would ever complain about my long hours when they would gladly take my position if they could. They’re right – I am amazingly lucky to have the job that I do.

(I should add in that Aaron works just as hard and is just as pinched in his time as well. He’s forced to do more parenting and housework tasks than the average father would ever be asked to take on, but he does so with little complaint while still working full time as well.)

So I try to keep it all in perspective. I may not have lots of free time to spend with my children, but they still have what they need, even if it isn’t always what they want. The majority of my limited free time is spent with my family, focusing on the quality of our time together when the quantity is lacking. My daughters know how much I love them, even if I can’t always remember to turn in permission slips on time and have to put together mismatched outfits because I didn’t do the laundry last night. It may not be the most ideal arrangement for our family, but for the moment it works.

Although every so often, I stare across the fence at that pasture on the other side, and for a moment I lament that my side isn’t as green.