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Feb 21, 2011

The Pioneer Woman, Ice Cream, and a Sick Kid All In One Weekend

February 21, 2011 By

Some weekends are short, and then some fly by so quickly that you barely had time to process everything that happened before you found yourself sitting at your desk at work again.

This weekend was one of the second.

It wasn’t a wholly bad weekend. And it wasn’t a wholly awesome weekend. But somehow it was a combo of both, with no hint of mediocre anywhere to be found.

First, the bad:

Friday started off with a beautiful afternoon and the promise of spending a few hours with my husband before the kids got home from school. That plan vanished when the school called to report Mira had thrown up and we needed to come get her.

Let the Vomit-fest 2011 commence!

Mira was fine the remainder of the day. Ate dinner, was mostly herself, went to bed with no problems. Then at 2:30am I heard her crying and found she had vomited in bed. Stripped & remade the bed, changed her, calmed her down and put her back to bed. 3:30am – lather, rinse, repeat. And then 5:00am, when I was out of sheets for her bed, Aaron took her downstairs to sleep on the couch while I started the laundry and then got a little more sleep.

It’s now Monday, and Mira just got off that couch. Other than going to the bathroom, she didn’t leave that couch for 48 hours. Poor kid seemed better on Saturday morning, but then by mid-day made it clear that even small sips of water couldn’t be kept down. Saturday was nothing more than fitful periods of sleep and vomiting. And like a bad, bad mother, I missed most of it, because I had a full day already planned. (In my defense, Aaron insisted I keep my plans for the day and he’d take care of Mira.)

Sunday morning was difficult, because I had to weigh our options of what to do for Mira. Take her to an urgent care, where they might insist on IVs, blood tests and meds that would leave us in major debt thanks to no health insurance, or keep her at home and take the risk that she might not get better on her own? Money is no factor if she genuinely needs help, but I’ve been through my share of stomach bugs to know that many times you just have to wait them out. And, well, I’m a nurse – I know what the danger signs of dehydration are and when we can’t wait any longer.

So we waited. I stroked her hair as she slept with her head in my lap, and I waited for her to guide me towards which direction I should take. And by Sunday afternoon she was keeping down small sips of Pedialyte and behaving more like herself. By Sunday evening she was asking for food, although we kept to the Pedialyte regimen. And then she slept through the night with no more vomiting. Whew.

Two things. One: I never want to repeat that again. Two: why do kids always seem to get really sick on the weekend, when the doctor isn’t in her office?

And then the awesome:

Momo had tweeted me earlier in the week that Ree Drummond, The Pioneer Woman, was coming to town for her book signing, and she was organizing plans for dinner afterward. We know a lot of the same people, but I’ve never had the privilege of talking with Ree, so I was thrilled to be invited along.

I was also secretly terrified that she’d hate me, because she’s all…uh…domestic, and I’m, well, not. I burn water, people.

But the truth is, Ree is funny, smart, and so very easy to talk with. Not once did I feel uncomfortable around her. (OK, maybe a little jealous of her tremendous flexibility – she can get her leg behind her head!) She blended right in with the local gang as we talked, laughed and drank wine late into the night.

Oh yeah, we’d had some wine by this point…

We all had a fantastic dinner at Northstar Cafe (omg, try their veggie burger!), followed by dessert next door at Columbus’s own Jeni’s Splendid Ice Creams, with a personal tour by Jeni herself.

Ree is in awe of the ice cream goodness. I’m in the back about to pass out from so many yummy choices.

Side note: I am completely in love with Jeni’s ice cream, and was crazy proud that we could introduce Ree to our hometown best. Not only is it delicious, it’s all-natural, with many ingredients locally-sourced (including milk and cream from Snowville Creamery), and every flavor is safe for Cordy to eat. She’s not just limited to vanilla at Jeni’s, even if she prefers vanilla.

Columbus locals, if you haven’t had Jeni’s yet, you are hereby ordered to report to your nearest Jeni’s location and eat ice cream. Meyer Lemon Yogurt is my favorite, but if you hurry you might get to try Ylang Ylang Honeycomb before the season passes.

Dinner and ice cream and hanging out with some amazing women made it one of the best nights I’ve had in a long time. It all went by too quickly, and I already miss those conversations and all of that laughter. I’m glad to have met Ree, and thankful to her for giving us all a reason to gather and share an awesome evening together.

Love.
Filed Under: being a mom, me me me, Mira, plague Tagged With:


Feb 4, 2011

Blissdom Bloggy Love

February 4, 2011 By

I’m still coming down from my Blissdom high as I settle back into real life. The one thing that really frustrates me about going to blog conferences is that I always miss the people when I come back home. I’ve made some great friends through blogging, as well as met so many interesting people, and coming back home only reminds me that I live so far away from most of them and can’t have those inspiring conversations every week.

(I still love all of my local friends, too. Don’t want you to think that you have to live 100+ miles away for me to love you.)

So today I just want to share with all of you some of the people who made Blissdom extra special for me. If you don’t already know some of these women, be sure to click through and visit them.

Heather at Domestic Extraordinaire – Heather is one of my best blog friends, and I’m always happy for the chance to spend time with her. Considering we’ve endured 2 road trips to Blissdom and the nightmare Amtrak experience from BlogHer together and still like each other, I’d say that’s true friendship. Anytime I see her at a conference, I know I don’t need to put up any pretenses – I can just be myself around her.

Cecily at Uppercase Woman – Cecily is someone I had the privilege of getting to know better at Blog World in Las Vegas back in October. I admire her strength and her unwavering determination to be exactly who she wants to be and create her own happiness no matter the circumstance. And at Blissdom I especially admired her mad make-up skills (that she provided for me when I begged): she can create a “smokey eye” better than anyone I know. She’s beautiful inside and out.

Lisa at Condo Blues – Lisa was my Blissdom roomie, as well as someone I’ve been friends with since before the invention of blogging. (You know, back when it was called keeping a journal.) She also served as my flight partner and put up with my snoring without complaint. When I needed reassurance before stepping out the door of our hotel room, she was there to provide it.

Lia at Mama’s Starting Over – The greatest and most pleasant shock at Blissdom came when Lia sent me a Facebook message telling me she was on her way to Nashville. It was awesome to hug an old blog friend and spend some time catching up. Our lives have taken some dramatic turns in the past few years, and I was so happy to see her doing well.

Casey at Moosh in Indy – She makes me laugh, she makes me wish I could be as cool as her, and she let me touch her pregnant belly. No one makes pregnant look as good as her. She also shared her drugs with me, for which I’m eternally grateful.

Mishi at Secret Agent Mama – I trust this lovely woman enough to let her into my hotel room so that she could take pictures of me wearing next to nothing. She always has a smile, and she makes everyone feel welcome.

Carmen at Mom to the Screaming Masses – Simply one of the most beautiful women I know, and my fitness role model. I have no idea how she does it all, but I’m glad that she carved out enough time to come to Blissdom!

Lisa at St. Louis Family Life – Another old blog friend (not that she’s old – just that she’s a blogging old-timer like me!) that I wasn’t expecting to see. I’m so glad she patiently waited for me to finish talking with a Jockey representative (had to get my free workout gear, right?) and made sure to say hi. It felt great to talk with her again, and she introduced me to other St. Louis bloggers I can’t wait to get to know better.

Elizabeth at BusyMom – This woman is funny. And I mean ALWAYS funny. OK, maybe we had some serious conversations about the nursing profession, but no one else heard them so I have no proof that a serious conversation with her existed. But I’m thankful for those moments I did get to talk with her, whether serious or not.

Diane at Momo Fali – Yes, she’s a local, and yet we seem to only see each other when we travel hundreds of miles to conferences. (We need to work on that.) Not only can we compare stories of living in Columbus, but if you’re scared of flying, there’s no one better to fly scared with. Our flight home was all the better at each of us sucking in air in unison when the plane hit a bump of air.

Anissa at FreeAnissa – If ever I start to feel a dark mood coming on, or find myself feeling like the uncool kid at the party, I just need to find Anissa. She’ll give me a smile, a hug, and crack an inappropriate boob joke and suddenly everything is better.

OK, I’m running out of steam, but there are so many others I’d love to mention, too: Aimee who made room for me at lunch one day, Hannah who bought me one too many drinks and can dance ’til dawn, Emily who gave me one of her much-coveted Diet Cokes, and the list goes on and on and on.

Not only am I enough, but so are each of these brilliant women. You’re all perfect.

Filed Under: Blissdom, me me me Tagged With:


Feb 1, 2011

I Am Enough

February 1, 2011 By

I survived Blissdom.

Actually, it would be more accurate to write I thrived at Blissdom. More than once during the conference I found myself saying, “This is bliss.” From the beautiful setting of the Opryland hotel, to the chair massages and manicures, to the lobster bisque provided in the expo area, to seeing and spending time with so many women I love and respect, it was a wonderful experience.

The first post I write post-conference is always hard. I’ve been surrounded by so much talent for days that I’m both inspired and intimidated when I stare at the blank New Post screen. So much I want to say, and yet so much anxiety that I could never say it as well as others and never will be able to match them in their gift for the written word.

This time, however, I had the privilege of listening to Brene Brown during the opening keynote. Thanks to her wise words I was given a new outlook on being vulnerable, and found comfort in the simple phrase, “I am enough.”

Because let’s face it: I’ve never been enough. My entire life has been filled with not being enough. I was a smart child, but I wasn’t quite a genius, so it wasn’t good enough for some who were supposed to have loved me. I was socially awkward, which wasn’t good enough for my peers. I wasn’t enough for someone to love with all of their heart, and so I was cheated on in relationships. It was easy to internalize all of those messages into one great big feeling of inadequacy, knowing there was always someone who was better at anything I did.

Those feelings of shame are good at building a protective little cocoon around a bruised and battered ego. But in doing so, the real person gets buried deep behind the protective walls, barricaded against vulnerability. Turns out, though, being vulnerable can be kind of freeing. Being vulnerable lets your unique light shine through to everyone. And in listening to Brene Brown speak, I came to a conclusion that I’ve been working towards for years now: I don’t have to live up to the expectations of others, or live in anyone’s shadow. I can be enough for me and for those who matter the most to me.

I want to be more vulnerable, to worry less about how others see me and more about how I see my progress towards my own happiness. It’s a big step to take, having hidden so many of my quirks for so long as I tried to conform to everyone else’s ideals. But I have a very quirky autistic daughter. Cordy is quickly reaching an age where she will become aware of just how different she is. I don’t want her to suffer through shame as she forces herself to conform and then fails to reach the gold standard of “good enough” to everyone else. I want her to be happy with herself, and that will be a hard message to teach if I can’t walk the walk myself.

It’s not too often that you come home from a blogging conference with a new outlook on life. I’m looking forward to what I can discover about myself.

Dare to be stupid. (Thank you, Weird Al.) Dare to fail. It’s time to stop being scared of what others will think. Welcome to my blog, folks. I don’t promise enlightenment from reading this, and I don’t even promise you’ll like me. But that’s OK. I can’t be everything to everyone.

I am enough.

Filed Under: Blissdom, Cordy, me me me


Jan 25, 2011

The Pre-Conference Freak Out

January 25, 2011 By

The past few days I’ve been in pre-conference mode, scurrying around here and there trying to get everything in place before I leave for the Blissdom Conference in Nashville, Tennessee. This involves a lot of last minute personal prep, including hair cut, eyebrow wax, and wardrobe selection (aka: OMG I have NOTHING to WEAR!) as well as laundry, grocery shopping, and last minute checks to make sure the family will get by while I’m away.

Yes – I do trust my husband to keep things running while I’m gone. But if I can make it a little easier for him, I will. Because no matter how hard he tries, I know he’ll still have to encounter resistance from Mira, who will miss her mommy with the fire of a thousand suns and give him enough attitude to fill an entire preschool classroom. She loves her daddy, but Mira is totally mommy’s girl.

Although I will be sure to leave him a reminder list a mile long, too. Not because I don’t trust him, just because he’s not as neurotic as me. He doesn’t walk the house twice each night making sure every door is locked. Or make sure the fireplace is off after going to bed when he can’t remember for certain that he did turn it off. Or peek in on the girls to make sure they didn’t come up with some fire hazard in their room before going to sleep.

What? You mean all moms don’t do that?

Truthfully, I have far greater fears over the next few days. First, I’m terrified that I’m going to look awful at Blissdom. These conferences are filled with so many beautiful women, and it’s easy for me to get intimidated because 1. I have no sense of fashion and therefore am often under dressed, and 2. have no ability to apply makeup without making myself look like a clown. You’d think that after attending so many conferences I’d have this down by now, but alas, it’s not yet the case. (Although in my defense, I’ll add that I’m getting better at it!)

I’d say I’m also afraid of the intense social interaction coming my way, but that’s really not the case. Sure, I’ll still have a lot of social anxiety, but I do a great impression of looking calm on the outside when I’m nervous on the inside. Past conferences have helped me master my social anxiety, and other than a little bit of conference-ADD, I’m usually pretty good at striking up a conversation. Just don’t ask me to remember your name – I’m lousy at names.

But my greatest fear is having to get on a plane Wednesday morning. I’m completely breaking my own rules about flying for this year’s Blissdom. My rules for flying are simple: no flying anywhere I couldn’t drive in a reasonable amount of time. Reasonable usually includes anything in a 12 hour radius, sometimes 16 depending on how long I’ll be staying while I’m away. I have never liked flying, will never like it, and will always take any steps to minimize

Nashville is only a 6 hour drive, and I had every intention to drive it. Then I realized that driving it would require me to take another day off work. (And my vacation days are unpaid – that’s expensive!) And then I realized it costs $18 a day to park at Opryland, which combined with the gas to get there is also expensive. And THEN I saw that I could fly there for $49 each way – NOT expensive!

So I’m ashamed to say that the almighty dollar is apparently stronger than my convictions against flying. I’m not sure how I feel about that.

Anyway, to those I’ll be seeing in Nashville – take pity on me if I look like a Midwestern rodeo clown, and I look forward to us having a great time. And to those I won’t be seeing at Blissdom – know that I wish you could all be there with me!

Filed Under: Blissdom, clearly insane, me me me


Jan 18, 2011

Illness & Rare Moments of Clarity

January 18, 2011 By

When Cordy’s teacher called me on Friday to tell me that Cordy was complaining of a sore throat, I wasn’t convinced. Cordy had been practically vibrating around the living room that morning, excited about going sledding with her class. I figured she had simply burned out on excitement and was claiming a sore throat to be given the chance to rest after expending so much energy.

The teacher wasn’t convinced, either, as Cordy went from complaining about a sore throat to happily eating a snack. Cordy had no fever, so her teacher wasn’t inclined to send her home, and I agreed. Cordy had a great day and came home happy.

Saturday I was gone for most of the day visiting a friend, and when I left everything seemed fine. When I came home that night, I was given the report that Cordy had fallen asleep at the table in a restaurant for lunch, and then refused to eat anything for dinner that night. When I peeked in on her, she was curled up in bed with her PJs on and an adult-sized fleece jacket over it all.

It wasn’t until early Sunday morning that my fears were confirmed, when I heard a low moaning sound coming from her room. When I went in she was tossing back and forth in her bed, saying she hurt all over. She was hot to the touch, too. No doubt, she was sick.

Cordy has the strongest immune system I know. She’s only been sick a handful of times, often avoiding the common colds and stomach viruses that go around. While I’d like to claim credit for good parenting and teaching her about proper hygiene, I know that isn’t likely the reason – after all, she’s a 6 year old with a sensory fear of water. So when she’s sick, I get concerned.

She spent most of Sunday either on the couch or in her bed. All food was refused, but she did drink a little bit of juice for us. Medicine helped the fever for a little while, but it always came back quickly. I could only sit by her side and hold her hand, telling her to rest and that she would feel better soon.

The worst part was her realization that she was sick, and that sickness can lead to death. “Mommy, am I going to die from being sick? I don’t want to die, I want to live,” she cried to me at one point. I held her tight and assured her that she would be fine and that everyone gets sick sometimes.

But something else happens when Cordy gets sick – she also becomes amazingly clear-headed. Instead of the random thoughts that come out in a rapid-fire string of consciousness, she can hold long conversations and remain focused on the topic at hand. She doesn’t get easily upset over little things, and she doesn’t have the same low threshold for sensory overload. She’s quieter, more still, more deep in thought and more aware of everything around her.

I can’t describe it well, but it’s as if the fever somehow blocks her autism and lets the child that is tangled up in it shine through. And while I’m always concerned about her when she’s sick, I also took the time to marvel at how different she is during these moments.

By Monday morning she was still weak, but starting to feel better. And by Monday evening, the Cordy we know and love was asking to eat dinner.

I’d never wish for Cordy to be sick, but I’ll admit that when she is sick I do take advantage of those rare quiet moments with her, comforting her, holding her hand, stroking her hair, and remind myself how grateful I am for all that she is, whether sick or healthy.

Filed Under: Autism, Cordy, love Tagged With: