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Apr 18, 2011

Stalled

April 18, 2011 By

On Saturday my trainer put our class through a workout so intense that we wondered what had happened to put her in such a mood. She made me use 10lb weights this time, really drilled us for proper form, and for some of the advanced people in the class, made them wear weighted vests and during push ups placed 20lb dumbbells on their backs.

It was crazy. But I survived and even felt pretty good at the end. (OK, truthfully I felt beat up. But after a protein shake and some rest I felt pretty good.)

What I didn’t like was my weigh-in. The scale is stubbornly holding on, refusing to move any lower. Expressing my frustration, I whined that I was upset in seeing roughly the same number for the last month. My trainer then suggested I do a three-day diet to “shock” my body back into losing weight.

The three-day diet is a plan the gym suggests to clients who need a little kick in the metabolism. It involves eating a little bit of grains and a heck of a lot of fruits and vegetables over a three day period and nothing else. Fats during that time come only from olive oil used on salads. Protein is next to nothing, which is the complete opposite of the high-protein diet they recommend most of the time.

Honestly? I’m tempted to try it. It’s insane that my weight is stalling out so close to 170. Many years ago, when I lost nearly 80 lb the first time, this was the point I stalled out. The lowest number I ever remember seeing was 168 and that was short-lived. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t because I liked what I was seeing and got too comfortable – I remember trying to lose more and getting nowhere. It was as if I was at war with my body, and it was stubbornly hanging on to everything it had.

But I also know that I feel ridiculous for even thinking of trying it. Sure, it would be great to get more fruits and veggies in my diet, but I know that it’s likely just three days of very low calories. Anyone would lose weight like that, right? Also, what are my chances of following it precisely for three days? It’s amazing how long three days can feel when you stare at your dinner of steamed mixed veggies and salad.

I can’t decide if I should try it or not. I did take my measurements and compared them to my earlier measurements, and haven’t really lost much in inches, either. I don’t know if I can squeeze any more time out of my schedule to workout more. So at this point I’m open to trying nearly anything different to force my body to melt some fat, even if it is digging into some farmer’s market produce for three days.

Filed Under: weigh-in Tagged With:


Apr 13, 2011

Geek Squared

April 13, 2011 By

When I graduated from high school, family and friends all asked the same question that every university-bound teen is asked: “What will you be majoring in at college?”

I’ll admit that they were disappointed when I told them elementary education, or maybe liberal arts.

At my graduation party, there were a lot of whispered conversations between my relatives and my mom. “But why THAT?” “She’s selling herself short.” “She’s got so much potential in other areas.”

And then my mom: “I know. But I can’t force her.”

Everyone expected me to become a scientist. Or maybe a doctor. Anything related to the sciences, really. Truth is, I was a whiz at math and science.

Math (other than geometry, which I still have problems with) was a breeze, and even my math teacher was impressed at my speed with calculus proofs. The math award was given out to one senior each year who had the highest math grade for all four years of high school, and that year I was the recipient.

Science was equally simple as long as I avoided physics. (Geometry getting in the way again.) I scored a perfect score on the science portion of the ACT. Chemistry equations were like a second language to me. Some classmates considered me a snob for not helping them balance chemistry equations, but it wasn’t that I didn’t want to help them – I just couldn’t really explain how I did it. I’d try to explain, they’d still be confused, and then at some point the phrase “It’s easy to see” would slip out of my mouth and they’d storm away.

Yep, I was the perfect nerd: good at math and science, poor at sports, and socially awkward. You can guess how many parties I got invited to, and chess club doesn’t count.

But back to college: I wasn’t interested in being a scientist, and becoming a doctor sounded like it would take forever and be boring. I wanted a new challenge, so of course I jumped right into areas where I often did poorly, beginning with elementary education (I wasn’t good with kids), then switching my major to theatre (yes, I have panic attacks on stage) and finally ending with a BA in History, which happened to be my “worst” subject in high school. I didn’t switch majors because I found the others hard – I simply wasn’t as interested and kept trying to find my passion. Or maybe I only wanted to pursue topics that were hard for me.

Of course, a degree in history isn’t very useful if you don’t pursue graduate school, and after one quarter of a dull graduate school experience, I quit. I had a natural talent in technology, so I worked for several years as a technical writer for e-learning courses. My abilities in the sciences came in handy for that job.

I’ve since gone back to school and have that science degree in nursing. I think my family is a little more accepting of my career at this point, if only because my job options are a little more secure. And while I resented their opinions in high school, I’m lucky that I grew up surrounded by successful women who believed that a girl could do well in science. I never experienced any expectations based on gender other than their hopes that I wouldn’t let gender stereotypes hold me back.

As the mother of two daughters now, I can already see their strengths emerging. Cordy has a natural ability with patterns and numbers, while Mira is curious about the world around her and wants to know how everything works. I’ll continue to encourage them in learning about their world, embracing technology, and developing a love for science, just as I was encouraged as a child.

And if they want to pursue degrees in art and classical mythology someday? I’ll try to remind the relatives that they’re free to do what they want.

—
This post was inspired by my friend David Wescott and his call to bring together mom bloggers and science bloggers for his #scimom project. If you want to join in, go visit his blog and learn how!

Filed Under: geek paradise, me me me, memories, school


Apr 11, 2011

Calorie Counting

April 11, 2011 By

As I’ve mentioned before, I’m not someone who can just try to eat until I feel full, or simply make a few substitutions in my diet to lose the weight. My body’s hunger signals have long been screwed up, probably thanks to those emotional binges of entire bags of Doritos in my teen years. Food and I are too closely linked on an emotional level at this point to consider letting hunger signals guide my intake.

So instead, I count. In the past, I’ve counted points using Weight Watchers, and that has worked very well. At the moment, I’m counting raw calories. I use a free iPhone app called Lose It! (also available in website form, too) to keep track of all of my calories each week. It’s easy to use: I input my current weight, tell it how much weight I’d like to lose per week, and then log all of my food and exercise. Since my iPhone is always with me, it’s easy to remember.

At first it’s hard to count calories, especially when you have a daily limit you don’t want to exceed. It’s easy to eat too much during the day, then find yourself with few calories left for dinner. Or worse: starve yourself all day – not wanting to be without calories for dinner – then binge at dinner from being so hungry. Often it’s eye-opening to see how many calories are in your favorite foods, too. Who knew a serving of french fries could be more calories than a 7oz steak?

Lately I’ve become pretty savvy at working my calories. Just look at everything I ate yesterday:

Breakfast: 1 piece of 10-grain bread with peanut butter

Lunch: Applebees Grilled Dijon & Portobello Chicken with roasted potatoes and broccoli (450 calories total!)

Dinner: Spinach & mushroom deep dish pizza (Lean Cuisine) and Skinny Cow ice cream sandwich

Snacks: string cheese, 2-bite strawberry shortcake cupcakes (3)

All of that food, and I was still under my calorie budget for the day! I had 200 calories left that I could have eaten, but truthfully I was full on all of that.

Now, I’m in no way saying that is my healthiest day of eating. The cupcakes were a last minute splurge at work before midnight, and strawberry filling doesn’t exactly count as fruit.

Looking over that day, I needed some fruit in there somewhere. Could have probably added it to breakfast or switched out the ice cream sandwich for some strawberries and whipped cream. Plenty of protein for the day, though, and a decent amount of vegetables for me.

I like counting calories, though, because I can use them to plan, and seeing my calories over an entire day, or spread out over the entire week helps me realize that it’s OK to indulge a little, as long as it all balances out. I knew I had the calories for those mini-cupcakes, so I didn’t feel guilty about eating them. And if I choose to have McDonald’s for a meal this week, I can see that one day of going slightly over won’t wreck anything.

How do you approach food when it comes to losing weight? Do you count calories, measure your foods, eat until you feel full, or something else?

(And just because it needs to be said in this era of full disclosure, I am not affiliated with Lose It! and was not asked to promote their app or site. They have no idea who I am – I just like the app.)

Filed Under: food Tagged With:


Apr 11, 2011

Soccer Mom

April 11, 2011 By

On Saturday, I officially became a soccer mom.

My inauguration was supposed to be the week before, but a brief case of food poisoning kept Cordy from making it to the first practice.

Cordy has been interested in soccer since she was two years old. She’s always loved kicking the ball around the backyard, head down, focused on having her foot make contact with the ball. For all of her lack of coordination, she’s surprisingly good at kicking a ball.

Signing her up for a soccer league is something I’ve been considering for some time, but I’ve been plagued by a lot of doubts every time I get close to doing so. She doesn’t like a lot of loud noises, and she certainly doesn’t like cheering. Coping with losing is not a strong point for her. She’s not very focused on group activities, preferring anything she can do alone instead.

But this year I’ve been getting some positive reports from school that made me think that now was the right time. Her teacher e-mailed me last month and said that Cordy learned to play kickball and was now playing with the other kids at recess. She then e-mailed me another day to let me know Cordy scored a home run kick that day. And then the next e-mail stated that the principal taught Cordy how to pitch the ball for kickball, and she can now pitch for her team! I was honestly shocked that she had become so interested in a group sport.

I still didn’t feel comfortable with signing her up for a soccer group, until I learned about a local soccer league for special-needs kids. The league is for all ages (they separate the kids into age-appropriate groups), and the focus is on simply doing your best and having fun. Each child received their own uniform, and there are lots of volunteers to help guide the kids and keep them motivated.

When I took Cordy to her first practice, she really didn’t want to go. “But mommy, my team will lose!”

“You don’t know that, Cordy. You might win. And either way, you’ll have fun.”

“But I might lose, too. I don’t wanna lose.”

Her anxiety was high when we got to the indoor soccer facility, made even worse by seeing the image of a flaming soccer ball on the outside of the building. (“Why is that soccer ball on fire? Will we get burned in there? I don’t want to catch on fire!”) As I checked her in and got her uniform, she stood off to the side pacing and hopping, looking uneasy.

I took her to the bathroom to change into her uniform, answering questions about what she was going to do and why she had to wear the uniform. I decided to skip the shin guards completely – strapping something tight around her lower legs probably wouldn’t go over well at the moment. Once she was dressed, it was like a switch flipped. “Mama, I look like a real soccer player!”

I took her to her assigned field, where several kids were already kicking balls around. Cordy took one look at all the balls and ran right in, eager to kick as many balls as she could.

Soon it was time for practice, and all of the balls except for one were removed from the area. The coach led the kids in some stretches and warmups, which Cordy mostly participated in. Then half the kids put on blue tank tops while the others kept their yellow shirts only to separate them into two teams. The rules were explained, and off they went!

The first goal was made by Cordy’s team. She ran right over to me, shouting, “I won! I scored a goal!” I reminded her that it was only one goal, and there was a lot more of the game to play. (I decided not to point out that she wasn’t the one who scored the goal, either. She wasn’t anywhere near the ball that time.)

The second attempt resulted in a goal for the other team. Cordy again came over to me, this time looking sad, and said, “We lost, mama. I want to go home now.” A little more encouragement, and she was back out with the other kids again. If she planned to do this each time, it was going to be a long, emotionally draining hour.

Cordy did fairly well on the field. She didn’t like to get in close with other kids, and so she wasn’t good at going after the ball. But when the ball happened her way, she often gave it a powerful kick to send it back down to the other end of the field, leaving others on her team to score the goal.

About 40 minutes in, Cordy started begging to go home. She was tired and didn’t want to play anymore because the other team kept scoring. I reminded her that kids who stayed for the full hour got a snack, and that was enough motivation for her to finish out the practice.

While I would have been worried about her behavior in another soccer league, in this group she fit right in. Other kids had meltdowns, didn’t want to go near the ball, kicked it the wrong way, picked it up with their hands, or just sat down on the field and refused to move. And the parents just cheered them on and provided encouragement.

No one though twice if a child had to leave for a few minutes to calm down. Parents were allowed out on the field to help their child if needed. It was a supportive environment filled with love for our kids, ending with all of the parents standing side by side in two lines, putting their arms up to form a “tunnel” for the kids to run through while the parents cheered and told them what a good job they did.

After we got home, Cordy told me that she had fun and wants to go back again next week. I’m hoping this will be a good introduction to group sports, and perhaps if she does well in this league, we can try her in a more competitive league in the future.

Filed Under: Autism, Cordy, daily life


Apr 8, 2011

Money Sucks

April 8, 2011 By

I’ve said it several times: I hate money.

I hate that so many people never seem to have enough of it, and that many people who have more than enough of it don’t want to help out that first group.

But I mostly hate trying to manage my own money.

There was a time when money management was easy. That time was the pre-kids golden era. Aaron and I both worked great jobs and so our bank accounts were always fairly healthy. We also had plenty of free time, so I spent a lot of that free time tracking our money in various software programs and spreadsheets. I loved seeing where every penny went. Most bills were scheduled or paid immediately and the credit cards were carefully managed.

Post-kids, though, money management has been a little harder. I don’t have time to keep track of every penny anymore. (I try, though.) The number of bills I have to keep track of has tripled, too, with daycare expenses, pediatrician’s bills, etc. And with various lower paying jobs, layoffs and unemployment we’ve both endured over the past four years, the income hasn’t always been enough to meet needs.

Paying bills and tracking money were fun when there was plenty to play with. I loved seeing the cute bar graphs and pie graphs of where our money went and seeing trends over time. When I had to stare at much smaller numbers that didn’t match up in simple addition and subtraction equations, though, it wasn’t fun anymore. It was completely depressing, actually.

I’m the keeper of the accounts in our house, and I’ve often felt like the big meanie when telling Aaron or the kids that we couldn’t afford some purchase or trip they wanted. It’s not like I was denying only their wants: they didn’t hear me telling myself “no” on a daily basis to things I wanted as well. Wait – forget past tense – I still tell myself “no” on a daily basis. I’ve become so good at it that I’ve been told I’m impossible to shop for, because I don’t want anything. (Soooo not true, but I guess I keep my wants hidden well.)

I can see how money is a top reason for couples to separate. You fight more when you don’t have enough money just from the stress of the situation. Aaron and I have had plenty of arguments about money, and even more that had nothing to do with money on the surface, but were probably caused by our stress over money.

The good news for us is that our financial situation has improved over the past year. While I’m still not finished with our taxes yet (Note to self: seriously? You’re usually done by February 3! Get on it!) I am seeing that we’re in a higher tax bracket in 2010, and I’m OK with that. Yes, I actually wrote I’m OK with paying more taxes. 

Our financial situation was so miserable in 2009 that the government paid us back what little we had paid into taxes and gave us a nice chunk extra in addition – sort of a “Wow, we’re sorry your year sucked so much. Here – we’ll pretend you’re a smaller version of General Electric and give you a little boost for all of those deductions.” That’s the first time I’ve ever experienced a net gain on my tax forms.

Paying more into taxes for 2010 is no big deal to me, honestly – we made more money last year, and so we should pay more into the system. After all, it was that system that helped us through our rough period of unemployment, when we relied on unemployment compensation, Medicaid for our children, food assistance and WIC to help our family keep the roof over our heads. Without it and help from our families, we likely would have been yet another foreclosure statistic.

But just because we have more income now doesn’t mean I’m back to looking at our financial situation with a smile. The past few years left a huge, ugly bruise on our finances. Our credit cards were often used as a last-ditch solution when we couldn’t afford gas, food or some unexpected auto or home repair. I went back to school in 2007 and used student loans to get another degree. The mountain of debt only grew higher and higher until we stood in its shadow, hoping it wouldn’t topple on us.

I just paid off our car loan at the end of March – ten months ahead of time, too. I needed to pay it off early because our older car, after nearly 190K miles, is getting closer and closer to its final rest. We will need a new car soon. But the money I was paying to the car loan each month is now shifted to the credit cards, and I hope to have one card paid off in the next few months. I also try to put a little money in savings each paycheck. If we can keep this trend going, we might be able to breathe a little easier every time we find a bill in our mailbox.

*Knocking on wood furiously at this point so no unexpected doom befalls us. You hear me, fate?  I’m knocking loudly with both hands, and I made sure it was real hardwood, not wood laminate! I know how you work.*

I still don’t consider myself the most responsible person when it comes to money, but I’ll add that I definitely get effort points for trying. At this point, I think I’m doing the best I can. Actions that could improve our situation would be having my job move from contract to permanent, and Aaron finding a job that was more permanent. (He’s working on a short-term contract at the moment.) Overall, though, I think we’re moving in the right direction.

What about you? Have your finances suffered from the recession, and if so, how are you coping? Any money management tips you want to share with all of us?

Filed Under: daily life, money