Christina, Author at A Mommy Story

Jul 12, 2013

Proving I Don’t Have It All Together

July 12, 2013 By Christina

I like to think that I’m a fairly responsible parent, and try to do what I can to not let people down or make dumb moves. But like anyone juggling multiple balls, plus a pie, a knife and a flaming torch, sometimes you make mistakes. You only hope it’s not a mistake that leads to someone getting hurt, burned, or ends up with pie on their face.

Yesterday I managed to fail twice in one day. Twice within a couple of hours, honestly. That has to be a new record.

Around 4pm, I was head down over my computer working, when there was a knock at the door. I noticed the person was peeking in the window, and at first I wondered who would be at our door. As I got up and walked towards the door, though, I suddenly recognized her: Cordy’s new behavioral therapist.

Oh shit. It’s Thursday. We were supposed to meet on Thursday.

And Cordy was still at camp.

I was mortified as I opened the door and she asked how things were going. I had to confess that I had forgotten and that Cordy wasn’t here at the moment because I didn’t go get her like I should have.

Thankfully she was very understanding, and decided we could still take advantage of the time by discussing goals for Cordy without her. I managed to reassure myself that this wasn’t a complete disaster because it gave me the chance to talk about what worries me the most about Cordy without her being here to hear it. See, a positive, right? OK, maybe not, but I still think it wasn’t a total waste of time for her to be here.

I also partially blame my calendar app on my phone. I recently changed phones, and when we imported my old data to my new one, apparently this appointment didn’t sync on the calendar. Technology has no feelings, so I can blame Siri.

After dinner, when the kids WERE home, Mira asked me to check if she had any loose teeth. She’s only lost a few so far, and is anxious for more Tooth Fairy visits. Nothing new was wiggly.

Cordy, however, has had a wiggly tooth for two months. It’s a cuspid, I think? We’ve been waiting for this tooth to fall out because she has the permanent tooth for it already coming in, but pushed in front of it because the baby tooth has yet to vacate it’s spot. To make it even more complicated, she has a premolar (bicuspid?) immediately under it also trying to find space to come in. Her dentist didn’t want to pull the tooth at the last visit, but noted that it needed to come out to give the other teeth a chance at space.

Side note: there’s still not enough space. By far. The kid is looking at major orthodontia in the future.

I asked Cordy to show me how her wiggly tooth was doing. I pushed against it a little, and it easily moved back and forth, like it was just floating there. So I decided to try giving it a little tug, thinking it would either pop right out or nothing would happen.

I’d strongly recommend not taking this course of action without at least first warning your child.

(Warning to those who are squeamish about teeth: this next section is not for you.)

With only the most gentle of tugs, suddenly the tooth popped up. But not entirely. One root was still hanging on as best it could, unwilling to release. So now there was a tooth dangling by a single root in her mouth – not able to stay in place, but also not able to come out. And blood, of course.

Cordy immediately could tell there was something wrong and started to freak out. I tried to keep her calm while asking Aaron to hurry it up with those tissues and help me.

It was quite a scene: Cordy standing there with blood in her mouth and a tooth hanging from her lower jaw, starting to yell and cry, not out of pain but panic. Me, reaching over for tissues with one hand and the other hand on Cordy’s face, paralyzed by the indecision of leaving the tooth alone or trying to pull it all the way out. Aaron trying to move his laptop off his lap to come help, and both of us calmly telling Cordy it was OK and she was fine and think of the Tooth Fairy! And Mira, suddenly very interested in all of this, saying “Let me see!” and trying to maneuver herself beside me to see the tooth dangling because that sounded SO COOL.

The tooth couldn’t stay like that, so I tried again to gently pull on it, but that last root wouldn’t budge and she said it hurt. So I spun Cordy around to face Aaron, telling him, “It has to come out.”

“Cordy, do you want me to pull it out or do you want to try it yourself?” Aaron asked.

“You do it,” Cordy whimpered.

So he did. It took maybe five seconds and one short squeal from Cordy, but the tooth came out.

Exhibit A: the cuspid

Cordy got some milk “to wash it out” and soon calmed down and started discussing what she hoped the Tooth Fairy would bring her. I felt awful for starting the whole debacle. I should have left the tooth alone until that last root was ready to let go.

The Tooth Fairy gave her an extra dollar for that tooth – guilt money.

My goal for the next week is to try again at giving that illusion that I know what I’m doing as a parent. Or at the very least not miss any scheduled appointments and leave everyone’s teeth alone.

Filed Under: being a mom, Cordy

Jul 10, 2013

BlogHer ’13: What To Know If You’re New

July 10, 2013 By Christina

Note: I wrote this post originally for BlogHer ’08, but didn’t see the sense in re-typing all of it again, since much of the advice holds true. Enjoy this recycled post with a few edits to make it more relevant to this year.
——–

Can you feel the tension and anxiety building in the blog world? Thousands of (mostly) female bloggers are a couple of weeks away from traveling to Chicago for BlogHer 13. The tweets about what do I wear? and will anyone talk to me? are already in full swing as some newcomers start to panic and wonder if they’ll be mocked if they don’t have an iPad with them or don’t say the right things.

Relax. Seriously…relax.

This will be my eighth BlogHer conference, so I do claim the right to call myself a bit of an expert on this topic. I’m ready to see old friends, meet new friends, browse the Expo and make connections with brands, pick up some new skills in sessions, and party until I drop. However, I was a member of the nervous newbie club once, too, so I know how some of you are feeling. Confession: I still get a little nervous each year. So allow yet one more person to give you a little advice on surviving your first BlogHer.

Hit the parties

There are a lot of parties planned this year. More parties than one person can possibly attend without being a Doctor Who companion, and the official parties are open to anyone attending BlogHer. Go to the parties, especially the Thursday night parties! This is your first chance to mingle and socialize in a low-stress environment.

Even if you have a hard time making the first move to introduce yourself to another person, I promise that someone will ask you who you are and will want to get to know you.

Next thing you know, you’re surrounded by your blog gang. (BlogHer ’11)

Prepare for short attention spans

At the same time, expect most people at these parties to behave as if they have some kind of attention-deficit disorder. (Some of us actually do…ahem.) It’s only natural – for those who have been to BlogHer before, they’ll be bumping into lots of people they haven’t seen since last year. And others will suddenly turn and see one of their blog friends standing right in front of them for the first time.

So don’t be surprised if you’re talking with a group and someone disappears or squeals and runs away. It’s not you – she was probably overcome with happiness to see another friend. It’ll happen all night, and as one person disappears, others will appear to join in on the conversation. It may even be you doing the ADD-wander-off.

It’s easy to get distracted with all of this going on. (BlogHer ’11)

Expect happy surprises

Don’t be surprised if others come running to you, too. At my first BlogHer, I felt so lost when I was checking into the hotel. There were women everywhere – many were clustered in groups, and I was far too shy to approach one of these groups to find out if they were bloggers I knew.

I remember walking past everyone, dragging my suitcase behind me, anxious and feeling like I wanted to hide in my room for the next three days, when I heard, “Is that Christina? Hey, woman!” It was Izzy, and she was the first shout out of many I got that night. I was also invited to dinner with Mayberry Mom that night, too, which further helped to calm my nerves.

Getting hug-tackled in a photo booth is pretty cool, too. (BlogHer ’10)

Hand out your card

If you don’t suffer from debilitating shyness, be sure to introduce yourself to as many people as possible. Have business cards if you can. They don’t have to be anything fancy: name, blog name, URL, Twitter name, and e-mail address are plenty.

You might think you don’t matter enough to have a business card, but you’re wrong. That card will help people remember you, and will help them find your blog after we all leave Chicago. Without cards, I never would have remembered the blog names of everyone I met at BlogHer, many of whom I now read regularly.

Unless you’re Bob Harper. I don’t need a card to remember him. (BlogHer ’11)

Be unstructured

Once the conference begins, you’ll meet even more people at the sessions you attend. These sessions are wonderful, with lots of information for beginners as well as advanced bloggers. But you may occasionally find you need a break, or find a period of time that doesn’t have any sessions you want to attend. That’s totally OK. There’s no rule that you must attend every session – hanging out in the hallways chatting with others is often just as valuable as the sessions themselves.

Poolside was a great hangout – just don’t get the laptops too close to the water. (BlogHer ’06)

Expect to be photographed

There are cameras everywhere. You’re probably bringing one, too. Remember that everything said or done at BlogHer is on the record, so be prepared to end up on Flickr or Instagram. This especially goes for those who like to drink, but can’t hold their liquor. (However, if you do want drunken antics to show up on the internet, drink away!)

Best seat at the CheeseburgHer party (BlogHer ’09)

Branch out

You’re going to find bloggers in your niche, but you’ll also encounter bloggers on nearly any topic. Take some time to get to know women outside of your niche, too. Surely you have interests beyond being a mom, right? Mom bloggers are lovely, but there are some awesome DIY bloggers, too. And pet bloggers. And fashion bloggers. And food bloggers. And shopping bloggers. If you can’t find someone who blogs about one of your secondary interests, maybe you need to start a new blog, eh?

Next up for me? Fashion blog. And yes, totally kidding. (BlogHer ’12)

Step out of your comfort zone

There will be a moment when you’re encouraged to do something a little… silly. Zany. Wacky. It could be in the Expo hall, it could be at a party, it could be in the elevator. Yes, this is a professional conference, but this is also a chance to have a good time. (Most conferences build in some kind of fun.)

Trust me – take the chance and do at least one silly thing. You might come to appreciate a new talent for yourself. Or you may just laugh at the memories created.

Why yes, that is a stylish McDonald’s bag on my head! It’s all the fashion! (BlogHer ’10)

Remember to rest!

This one is important. You’re going to be staying up late and getting up early each day. Some of you will be drinking a lot, too. Pace yourself, or you’ll collapse before it’s all over.

…or if you find yourself in a dance-off. (BlogHer ’10)

…or, don’t do any of this!

The beauty of BlogHer is that a diverse group of women will all be coming together to share and learn. Diverse = we don’t all do things the same way, and that’s just fine. My advice is just like every other advice post out there: the advice of one person. Maybe you feel more confident when you stick strictly to your color-coded and well-planned Google calendar schedule, or maybe your motto is sleep when it’s over and don’t waste a minute of the action. Both are valid. Go with what works best for you.

But don’t go into it feeling you’re not important, not big enough, not wearing enough makeup or not the right dress size, or anything else that makes you think you’re less worthy of being there than others. Because you’re just as important and valuable as every other attendee and shouldn’t let any nagging fears keep you from having a successful conference experience.

So what I’m trying to say is don’t stress out about coming to BlogHer, because you’re going to have a good time. It’s a crazy, chaotic few days, where you’ll meet new friends, rub elbows with blog “stars” and maybe even find that someone admires you, too.

Just a few of the women I admire. (BlogHer ’11 – photo by Rita Arens)

Dress in a way that makes you feel comfortable, and don’t worry so much about your hair and makeup. After all, it can’t be as bad as my hair disaster from ’06.

And if you need someone to give you that initial boost of confidence and support, come find me. I may be a little socially awkward and I really do have ADD, but I love meeting new people and I’m always available for a hug. At my first BlogHer several friends held my hand and made me feel comfortable, and I’m happy to return the favor for others.

You may not find all of this advice useful, but it’s what I’ve learned from the past seven BlogHer conferences I’ve attended. Hope to see you all there this year!

No, really, embrace the McDonald’s bag hat. Trust me on this one. (BlogHer ’08)

Edited to add: You may notice there are no photos from BlogHer ’07 in this post. I was there, but most of the photos looked liked this:

Babies welcome. (BlogHer ’07)

Filed Under: BlogHer13

Jul 8, 2013

A Wet Fourth of July

July 8, 2013 By Christina

How was your Fourth of July? Ours had its ups and downs, but mostly had a lot of water.

Mira was so excited for this year’s holiday because she was going to be in a parade for the first time. Her gymnastics class has a float in the Hilliard parade every year, and since she’s been taking classes for over a year now she talked me into letting her buy the special parade leotard and join in. As we drove to the parade set-up site, the clouds loomed overhead and I hoped the rain would hold off.

Once we were there, Mira’s excitement turned to nerves. Suddenly she decided she only wanted to do it if she could ride on the trailer and not walk behind it doing cartwheels. She’s still a beginner, so I understand her concern with doing cartwheels. Half of the time she ends up on the ground when doing a cartwheel. The trailer was for five and under to ride on, but her coach said she could ride if there was enough room, since she just turned six.

I’d have rather she walked, and told her that next year she was either walking it or she wasn’t doing the parade at all. Parents were walking beside the trailer, handing out flyers about the gymnastics school to families in the crowd. I worked more than Mira did for this parade.

Aaron was asked to help a local comic book store for the parade, too, walking along as one of the costumed superheroes with their float. Since that would leave no one to watch Cordy, he brought her along for the store’s trailer, dressed in her pirate princess costume. She planned to ride on the trailer a little, and then help pass out comic books to the crowd some, too, while Aaron greeted the crowd as Superman.

Two local kid favorites – Ronald McDonald and Superman

The parade started late, and just as we were beginning to move, we felt the first drops of rain. By the time we made it out onto the street, it was a steady drizzle. The coach tossed some umbrellas and ponchos in the trailer for the kids to use, so I helped Mira suit up into a poncho.

Mira was not happy about the rain, and all of my reminders about “smile and wave” went out of her mind. She sat there frowning like a grump unless I specifically looked at her and told her to smile and wave. Then she would perform for awhile, before half-heartedly waving while looking down to the ground, eventually just holding her hand up with no movement. Repeat times one hundred.

I was telling her to smile and wave here.

It didn’t help that as the parade was progressing, she saw candy on the street. Some of the groups ahead of us were tossing candy to the crowd, and now Mira thought being in a parade was just awful since she couldn’t get any candy. As I was walking, I picked up a couple of lollipops and tootsie rolls that hadn’t been smushed by trucks ahead of us, promising she could have them after the parade.

That incentive didn’t work well, though, since her gaze suddenly was locked on the street for the remainder of the parade, trying to spot more candy. She’d yell for me to pick something up, and I had to keep telling her it was crushed and to focus on the people standing in the rain to see the parade instead. (95% of the candy I saw was either opened or crushed.)

Of course, right near the end of the parade? It stopped raining. Figures.

It wasn’t until we all met up again and were getting in the car that I noticed Cordy was starting to act edgy and upset by the crowd. I also noticed a thin blue outline around Cordy’s mouth. “Cordy, what did you eat during the parade?”

Cordy immediately got nervous and started stammering a few starts to an answer before deciding on, “I was eating blueberries.” She lied. On one hand, it’s uncommon for kids with autism to lie, so yay for progress! On the other hand, blueberries don’t make your mouth look electric blue and I had a bad feeling about what she ate.

“Try again,” I told her. “What did you eat?”

“It was a lollipop, but it was totally free of artificial dyes, I promise!” Again, not true. No one had expensive natural dye lollipops in the parade. She even considered saying that Aaron allowed her to eat it, but stopped mid-sentence when she knew I’d just verify that with him.

Turns out, it was a blue Dum-Dum pop, which she is well aware is off-limits. She said she found it on the trailer, but it’s more likely she picked it up off the ground when she was walking beside the trailer, then got back onto the trailer to hide and eat it where Aaron wouldn’t see her.

I’m still angry about that lollipop, because her behavior was completely off the rest of the day. (And the next two days, too – we received a call from her summer camp about unusual behaviors on Friday, and they’ve never called us before.) It’s nearly out of her system now, but I didn’t need this unpleasant reminder as to why we keep artificial dyes off-limits.

After the parade, we visited my family for a cookout, then came back home to relax a little before our local fireworks. I was secretly hoping they’d cancel the fireworks so I could send two very tired little girls to bed early.

Quick nap on the way home, cuddling her Seat Pet.

There was a brief period of dry weather, so it was expected that the fireworks would still happen. Then more rain started to approach the area, so they moved the fireworks start time up by 40 minutes.

It still wasn’t early enough for Cordy. Her internal clock, made even stronger by a ramped up day on blue dye, shut her down before 9pm.

I tried to get a photo of Cordy asleep, but Mira had to jump in to gloat that she was still awake.

We went outside just as the fireworks started. (The one nice thing about our neighborhood is that the fireworks are launched not far from us, and we can see them clearly from our driveway.) And just as they started, it began to rain. Again. So much for moving them up to avoid the rain.

Aaron, Mira and I huddled under umbrellas and watched the local fireworks from our driveway. While the rain dampened the block parties that usually happen that night, it sadly didn’t keep the mosquitoes away. By the time we came back inside, I had a lovely collection of itchy bumps on my ankles and the backs of my knees.

As soon as the fireworks were over? It stopped raining.

Hope your holiday wasn’t as wet as ours!

Filed Under: holidays

Jul 1, 2013

Cleaner Air Inside The Car With FRAM (Giveaway!)

July 1, 2013 By Christina

When I was picking the kids up from their first day of summer camp (for real this time!), we were stopped at a light on the way home and Mira noticed a huge dust cloud go across the road as the cross-traffic went by. “Mommy, why is there so much dust?” she asked.

“Because it’s summer in Columbus, sweetie,” I replied.

I wasn’t kidding. We have four major seasons in Columbus, with several minor variations within each major season:

1. OMG, Leaves Everywhere!
2. Gray and Cold
3. Gray and Wet
4. Construction

The Construction season is a little bit of a misnomer. We have construction in Columbus year-round, but during this season when the weather gets hot and sunny, our orange barrels reproduce like bunnies and traffic slows to a crawl when three lanes are reduced to one.

The result? Dust clouds mixing in with exhaust from cars and trucks crawling along at the mercy of the orange barrels. It doesn’t exactly make you want to roll the windows down.

But is the air in my car any better? I recently learned that air inside the car’s cabin can be up to six times dirtier than the air outside. Seriously? And then I looked a little closer at my interior. There’s always a fine layer of dust that I’m forever trying to get rid of. If it was coming from the outside, I wasn’t doing us any favors by keeping the windows closed and letting the dust in, but not giving it a way out.

I had the chance to try replacing our cabin filter with a new FRAM Fresh Breeze® filter a few weeks ago. To begin with, I didn’t even know my car HAD a cabin filter! I thought the air filter that they recommend changing with every few oil changes was the same thing. Nope! FRAM Fresh Breeze cabin air filters filter 98% of dust, dirt, and allergens and are the only cabin air filter that uses ARM&HAMMER® baking soda to remove odors from the air entering your vehicle through the ventilation system.

When I received the filter, I wondered how hard it would be to install. I don’t change my car’s oil – putting air in the tires and using the vacuum at the car wash is about as complicated as it gets for me. However, the FRAM® website makes it easy to figure out with step-by-step instructions, and video installation instructions for many vehicles.

For my SUV, this involved unhooking the glove box (not as hard as I thought it would be), and then reaching past it to unclip the filter assembly and pull it out.

The rectangle in there is the cabin filter.

When I pulled out the filter that had been in there since the car rolled off the assembly line in 2006, I suddenly wondered why this wasn’t covered in routine maintenance:

Old filter next to new one. Notice the old one is black and full of icky stuff.

Disgusting.

The hardest part of the entire process was having to touch that nasty old filter. The new filter popped into place in the frame, and within a few minutes the filter was back in the car, the glove box closed again, and all was ready to go.

So, how well does it work? I’m happy to report that the air within the car is fresh and I don’t notice as many of the odors coming from outside. But how do I really know it’s working? I’m not seeing that layer of dust come back on the dashboard as quickly. I haven’t needed to wipe the dust from the console in over a week.

Going back to the visual of the dust cloud in front of us on Monday – less dust, dirt and allergens coming in means I feel much better about the air that my kids and I are breathing in the car on our daily trips through the traffic and construction. I’m completely sold on changing the cabin air filter regularly now, and wish I had known sooner that this sort of thing existed in my car and needed to be changed.

FRAM Fresh Breeze cabin air filters can be purchased online at Amazon, or at your local Meijer, O’Reilly Auto Parts, or Walmart. FRAM is currently offering a $3 mail-in rebate on their filters – find the rebate form on their website. To learn more, follow FRAM Fresh Breeze on Twitter and Facebook.

Giveaway!

Now that you’ve read why I love FRAM filters, how about a $100 VISA card to get you started on buying new cabin air filters for yourself? (And plenty of other goodies for yourself, too!) I’m giving this awesome prize to one lucky reader, but you have to enter to win.

How to enter, you ask? Easy! Leave a comment below with the answer to this question:

What are your favorite simple tricks to keeping the air in your home and car healthy, clean, and fresh?

Good luck!

Rules:

No duplicate comments.

You may receive (2) total entries by selecting from the following entry methods:

a) Leave a comment in response to the sweepstakes prompt on this post

b) Tweet (public message) about this promotion; including exactly the following unique term in your tweet message: “#SweepstakesEntry”; and leave the URL to that tweet in a comment on this post

c) Blog about this promotion, including a disclosure that you are receiving a sweepstakes entry in exchange for writing the blog post, and leave the URL to that post in a comment on this post

d) For those with no Twitter or blog, read the official rules to learn about an alternate form of entry.

This giveaway is open to US Residents age 18 or older. Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail. You have 72 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected.

The Official Rules are available here.

This sweepstakes runs from 7/1/2013 – 7/31/2013

Be sure to visit the FRAM brand page on BlogHer.com where you can read other bloggers’ reviews and find more chances to win!

Filed Under: healthy living, sponsored Tagged With: car, clean air

Jun 28, 2013

Mom’s Words of Wisdom for Healthy Living #momwisdom

June 28, 2013 By Christina

Thanks to Nestlé® Pure Life® Purified Water for sponsoring today’s discussion.

Do you ever think back to those sage words of advice your mom may have given you when you were younger and you now realize she was right? OK, mine still delivers her advice on a weekly basis, but much of it is the same that it was when I was younger, with some additional parenting advice thrown in there, too.

My mom is one of those people who believes natural is best. She grew up on a farm where they raised their own animals and veggies for food. What they didn’t raise, they bought locally. They had dairy cows for milk, pigs for meat, and chickens for eggs and meat. Meals were prepared in a house without running water. If she wanted a drink, she used the pump in the yard to get herself some water. If she wanted a treat, she’d go walk into the fields near the edge of the woods and look for any berries that had ripened, bringing back extras for her family to share.

And fishing. She did her own fishing, too, on her own with just the family dog.